Death
A good friend of mine died today.She had inoperable colon cancer (like my mom did many years ago) and did not die without pain and sufferering.
Another friend of mine, Debbie, was at her bedside at Harborview for awhile. My friend Marty (her nickname, she hated her given name) had semi-retired in the Sequim area and I did not know Debbie knew her until she (Debbie) started posting on Facebook that Marty was asking Debbie why Debbie was trying to prolong her (Marty's) life. As in: "If you had not called the doctors I would be walking with Jesus now." Debbie is still feeling bad about it, like there is something BAD about calling 911 in this kid of situation?
And then I get a call from my friend Frances - who I NEVER hear from (because she doesn't believe in the internet OR cellphones) to let me know that Marty died (Frances knew her too) and that things will be arranged for funeral and burial in Wenatchee soon. And wanted to know when I wold be coming over for the event.
It frustrates me immensely that I cannot just hop on a plane and go over (not mentioning the cost). Even if the cost were not a factor, I HATE funerals, I can behave at one but I prefer to avoid them, and I cannot justify this even for a close friend (considering my constrained financial circumstances, which is mor of an excuse than anything).
As I write this I remember Marty as I knew her 35 years ago (more or less) - we were good friends, went out to lunch a lot and barhopped sometimes on Fridays (with other friends from work). We have kept touch over the years, telling each other about husband(s) (2 for her, 1 for me) and kids (2 for each of us, 2 girls for her, 1 of each for me). I would not have minded getting together with her somewhere, "just us girls" and catching up, but obviously it was not to be.
And...I find it perplexing that my friends cannot understand why I cannot just "jump on a broomstick" and go over. I must admit I am little bit sad over this.
That being said, I will mourn Marty, and after the burial is complete, I will mourn a little again, and then try to turn the page.
Another friend of mine, Debbie, was at her bedside at Harborview for awhile. My friend Marty (her nickname, she hated her given name) had semi-retired in the Sequim area and I did not know Debbie knew her until she (Debbie) started posting on Facebook that Marty was asking Debbie why Debbie was trying to prolong her (Marty's) life. As in: "If you had not called the doctors I would be walking with Jesus now." Debbie is still feeling bad about it, like there is something BAD about calling 911 in this kid of situation?
And then I get a call from my friend Frances - who I NEVER hear from (because she doesn't believe in the internet OR cellphones) to let me know that Marty died (Frances knew her too) and that things will be arranged for funeral and burial in Wenatchee soon. And wanted to know when I wold be coming over for the event.
It frustrates me immensely that I cannot just hop on a plane and go over (not mentioning the cost). Even if the cost were not a factor, I HATE funerals, I can behave at one but I prefer to avoid them, and I cannot justify this even for a close friend (considering my constrained financial circumstances, which is mor of an excuse than anything).
As I write this I remember Marty as I knew her 35 years ago (more or less) - we were good friends, went out to lunch a lot and barhopped sometimes on Fridays (with other friends from work). We have kept touch over the years, telling each other about husband(s) (2 for her, 1 for me) and kids (2 for each of us, 2 girls for her, 1 of each for me). I would not have minded getting together with her somewhere, "just us girls" and catching up, but obviously it was not to be.
And...I find it perplexing that my friends cannot understand why I cannot just "jump on a broomstick" and go over. I must admit I am little bit sad over this.
That being said, I will mourn Marty, and after the burial is complete, I will mourn a little again, and then try to turn the page.