and as for the rest of my life
Went to the doctor today and yes Vivi does has a UTI (which is better than diabetes which was the other possibility - her urine had a strange smell and she has been guzzling water). And she has a cold. Which is good as the fever was caused by the cold not the UTI (a fever would have meant it was REALLY bad). So she is on antibiotics again. *grr* There are only a few instances where I really think antibiotics benefits outweigh the risks and she has managed to have three of them in the last couple months (pneumonia, staph infection, and now a UTI). And the other good news is I am fairly certain I know how she got it (randomly occuring ones can signal a structural problem). They did a quick cath when she was in the hospital, which is a theoretically sterile procedure, but apparently wasn't and something got in, settled and caused said infection. It took me so long to catch it because I kept thinking the smell was caused by all the other stuff going on. Funny thing is she also picked up the staph infection during the same visit, which took TWO simultanious broad spectrum antibiotics to get rid of *double grr*.
They are culturing everything and will let me know in a few days if the antibiotic she is on is strong enough. And I'm hoping she will get through the cold without developing any secondary infections (the cold is the standard variety preschool/daycare crud that every new student - or sibling of new student - develops.
In the meantime she is being puny and clingy and I am seriously having to fight the urge to just dose her with tylenol so she will act happy. As I don't want to do anything to stress her immune system more than it already is.
And at the risk of being vague and possibly a tease - found out something today that we weren't supposed to know. And it brings up all kinds of moral quandries of right, wrong, abuse of knowledge, balances of power and karma. Not to mention the particularly strong temptation of being smug and holier than thou...
And while I instinctly collect, hord, and store such bits, this is complicated by being both potentially immediately pertinant (at least if I allow it to be) and having (also potentially) significant long term reprocussions - which is exactly why said person didn't want it known. And if I wanted to I could possibly tip a particular balance, but really I don't do stuff like that anymore, just have to be especially careful what I do subconciously - Because it really is hard to tell when the universe just happens to fall the way I would have hoped vs. when I have helped it along, and where exactly is the line between prayer and hoping and magic...(various answers from various people are dancing through my head at the moment, along with the even more pressing question of whose answers to trust along with examinations of motive behind said answers) but anyway...
Knowledge being power, and that having power doesn't mean one will or even should use it, I'm just kind of coasting and evaluating and slightly reeling and trying to leave things the hell alone at the moment. Sometimes I wish I was as good of a person as I try to be. It would certainly make things easier. Although a particular story of a Native American elder comes to mind where he is telling a young boy that there is a destructive, evil wolf inside of him and the trick is to simply not feed the wolf, or something along those lines.
They are culturing everything and will let me know in a few days if the antibiotic she is on is strong enough. And I'm hoping she will get through the cold without developing any secondary infections (the cold is the standard variety preschool/daycare crud that every new student - or sibling of new student - develops.
In the meantime she is being puny and clingy and I am seriously having to fight the urge to just dose her with tylenol so she will act happy. As I don't want to do anything to stress her immune system more than it already is.
And at the risk of being vague and possibly a tease - found out something today that we weren't supposed to know. And it brings up all kinds of moral quandries of right, wrong, abuse of knowledge, balances of power and karma. Not to mention the particularly strong temptation of being smug and holier than thou...
And while I instinctly collect, hord, and store such bits, this is complicated by being both potentially immediately pertinant (at least if I allow it to be) and having (also potentially) significant long term reprocussions - which is exactly why said person didn't want it known. And if I wanted to I could possibly tip a particular balance, but really I don't do stuff like that anymore, just have to be especially careful what I do subconciously - Because it really is hard to tell when the universe just happens to fall the way I would have hoped vs. when I have helped it along, and where exactly is the line between prayer and hoping and magic...(various answers from various people are dancing through my head at the moment, along with the even more pressing question of whose answers to trust along with examinations of motive behind said answers) but anyway...
Knowledge being power, and that having power doesn't mean one will or even should use it, I'm just kind of coasting and evaluating and slightly reeling and trying to leave things the hell alone at the moment. Sometimes I wish I was as good of a person as I try to be. It would certainly make things easier. Although a particular story of a Native American elder comes to mind where he is telling a young boy that there is a destructive, evil wolf inside of him and the trick is to simply not feed the wolf, or something along those lines.