A new chance with sleep apnea.
New year, with resolutions, and I'm finding the first month with some serious face myself issues. I drive for a living, and every year i have to go and get re certified with the Doctor so i can drive, and take care of my family. As I went for the first time in October, I was honest with him and told him I have sleep apnea. Well because of that I flunked, and had to go through 2 weeks of getting my machine, and showing proof that I was using the machine to get back to work. So HR wouldn't let me take short term, so i had to use my vacation time. Thank GOD I had enough banked to cover this. Well In my first of few postings here, I said I wanted to loose weight again, and I knew that good sleep helps with that.
Well after flunking for a second time, I have come to the realization that i have to change, forever, and for me. I've lost a hundred pounds in the past, and had a tummy tuck. But, I know now I did it for the wrong reason. I did for the men I never had, to a life i 'thought' I wanted, and for sex!!! Well as i lost the weight, the apnea improved, so much so, I couldn't use the old machine i had before as the calibration was to high, so i put it away. And went on my way with the playing, flirting, having as many men as i could and trying anything i could get my hands on. I was drunk on the rush of orgasms, and forgot everything and everyone else. my kids were affected, and it took a good friend to tell me to slow down. So i did, cleaned up and realized I wanted the old fashioned life.
So here I am, on my second trial for my re certification, and My job is for sure on the line. So, i faced the mirror and told myself, I need counseling. I have my new machine, I'm using it. And I'm going to be facing my demons, as I've only had one appointment with the doctor. One thing I had a hunch on, that she found right away, was that I might be pre menopausal.Wonderful....so another doctor I need to see. But it's OK. I need this.Now, I find for me to keep on top of this and to do other things for me to change my ways, is to get off the FB site for awhile and work on me for a few minutes each chance I can get.I will try daily, if I can.
I will go, as I need to get my daughter from her work. I will continue later....
Enjoy!!
mjb
Well after flunking for a second time, I have come to the realization that i have to change, forever, and for me. I've lost a hundred pounds in the past, and had a tummy tuck. But, I know now I did it for the wrong reason. I did for the men I never had, to a life i 'thought' I wanted, and for sex!!! Well as i lost the weight, the apnea improved, so much so, I couldn't use the old machine i had before as the calibration was to high, so i put it away. And went on my way with the playing, flirting, having as many men as i could and trying anything i could get my hands on. I was drunk on the rush of orgasms, and forgot everything and everyone else. my kids were affected, and it took a good friend to tell me to slow down. So i did, cleaned up and realized I wanted the old fashioned life.
So here I am, on my second trial for my re certification, and My job is for sure on the line. So, i faced the mirror and told myself, I need counseling. I have my new machine, I'm using it. And I'm going to be facing my demons, as I've only had one appointment with the doctor. One thing I had a hunch on, that she found right away, was that I might be pre menopausal.Wonderful....so another doctor I need to see. But it's OK. I need this.Now, I find for me to keep on top of this and to do other things for me to change my ways, is to get off the FB site for awhile and work on me for a few minutes each chance I can get.I will try daily, if I can.
I will go, as I need to get my daughter from her work. I will continue later....
Enjoy!!
mjb