Christmas 2010
Christmas this year feel different, somehow. I'm getting really excited about seeing my kids and grandkids this weekend. I miss them so much, since I don't get to see them much any more. But the grandkids in Dallas treat me like a stranger since I moved, and that makes me sad. I guess I latch onto the affection and love I feel from Jessi's kids, and that makes my other kids a bit jealous. So I'll just settle for whatever love I can get from the rest. My family in Ohio were apparently told that I'm on drugs and that my son is my dealer; some of them have distanced me this year because of that. It's amazing how one deceptive judgement from one family member can affect their feelings toward me. But I am learning to live with it because if that's what they choose to believe, I'm not going to shed any more tears about it. Even when a close family member in Dallas passed away last month, there was not even a sympathy card sent this direction. And I didn't even realize it right away, that it was just another example of my siblings and their families shunning me and my children. I will continue to love and pray for those siblings, but I will try not to accept any more of the pain they've made me feel. Looking forward to a brighter and happy new year, 2011.