Brain Fry
Today was a hard day. Most days seem to be a hard day lately. Although I do have to remember that "it could always be worse". Ok so I am changing who I am, but my behaviors and habits are a little hard to change. 30 years of experiencing my life can do that. I am soooooo much better about letting things go, relaxing, communicating (well, most of the time anyway), and opening my mind to other's comments, ideas, and suggestions. But why do I let my petty pet peeves still get me all worked up? And for those of you who like to comment, that was just a rhetorical question.......:-P
My decisions have become extremely hard. Do I do what my gut tells me to do, and live with the fact that the person it directly effects may hate me for it, or just let it go and continue to worry, be stressed and concerned about the future outcome? I stress anyway. I try not to, but I am one of those people who actually contemplate the future outcome to EVERYONE, consequences, and possible scenarios to all things before making any decisions. After all I am a Libra on the Virgo cusp. (SCALES) go figure.
My new job is very mind and body frying. Sometimes I can't even think straight when I get home. And I still have an entire apartment to pack in less than two weeks. I work full time, so when I get home I am pretty bushed. Then I play with my daughter as much as I can, and when her dad takes her out in the evening, I just want to enjoy not actually having to do anything. OF course I still end up doing the dishes, Laundry and other various tasks. I need some time to myself, I wish I could just spend one entire day not having to worry about the time, getting out of bed, or anyone else.....Keep dreaming, it's not going to happen any time soon.
Oh well, I love my babies, I have a good life. I have a good job, new wonderful friends, (a few that don't get me into trouble anyway) and a family who is there for me when I need them, and even when I don't need them. I never had any of that growing up... I still wonder what my "True purpose" is here though. As I have said before I will probably keep looking all my life to only discover it the second before I die......That's just my luck.... For now I know I am here to raise my children to be good, kind, productive, faithful, and caring people (hopefully), and to spread the wonderful gift of living life for a good reason to as many people as I can.
TTFN
My decisions have become extremely hard. Do I do what my gut tells me to do, and live with the fact that the person it directly effects may hate me for it, or just let it go and continue to worry, be stressed and concerned about the future outcome? I stress anyway. I try not to, but I am one of those people who actually contemplate the future outcome to EVERYONE, consequences, and possible scenarios to all things before making any decisions. After all I am a Libra on the Virgo cusp. (SCALES) go figure.
My new job is very mind and body frying. Sometimes I can't even think straight when I get home. And I still have an entire apartment to pack in less than two weeks. I work full time, so when I get home I am pretty bushed. Then I play with my daughter as much as I can, and when her dad takes her out in the evening, I just want to enjoy not actually having to do anything. OF course I still end up doing the dishes, Laundry and other various tasks. I need some time to myself, I wish I could just spend one entire day not having to worry about the time, getting out of bed, or anyone else.....Keep dreaming, it's not going to happen any time soon.
Oh well, I love my babies, I have a good life. I have a good job, new wonderful friends, (a few that don't get me into trouble anyway) and a family who is there for me when I need them, and even when I don't need them. I never had any of that growing up... I still wonder what my "True purpose" is here though. As I have said before I will probably keep looking all my life to only discover it the second before I die......That's just my luck.... For now I know I am here to raise my children to be good, kind, productive, faithful, and caring people (hopefully), and to spread the wonderful gift of living life for a good reason to as many people as I can.
TTFN