The Real Me-Part Five: Married And Moving
*DISCLAIMER* This post WILL touch on a few sensitive subjects like abuse in all forms and suicide. If these things bother you please don't read it. I will take no offense. Instead jump down to my last post which is about my normal hectic life.This post will also make you laugh, cry, and feel anger towards the people mentioned and me as well. I am aware that Sage is on my friends list and might read this too and I am okay with it. Maybe if he knows more about me, he will understand more. I am ready to take what I get from it and it's a good purge for me.* This will be my longest post ever! Take it in small bites if you must, but please read it all. Here are the links to parts 1, 2, 3, and 4. Thank you :)
Mississippi was Hot! I mean real hot! I was dying the whole time and drank more then I ever thought and it was only March! Sage told me that some of the places he put in to be transferred to included England. I wasn't crazy about going over seas, but I was crazy about Sage! Outside of the base Sage showed me the gist of being on the base. Pizza and Porn. They ate a lot of pizza and went to the porn shop. Sage bought me this cute outfit from the shop and I adored it. In fact I wore it till it was shredded a few years ago. The base was fascinating and I met his friends and fellow soldiers. I took pictures of everything. We took a walk on the beach and it was very romantic. Not that I have to mention it, but we hadn't seen each other since December so we fucked like the Rabbits(he's born in 75' too)we are. :P
I stayed with a friend of his who was also getting married. They were getting married the week before us. Sage tried to prepare everything just right, but so much went wrong. The only day we could get the church was on Easter which was also his birthday. I made a joke that he can't forget our anniversary now. This joke would haunt me the rest of our marriage and become a huge annoyance. The bouquet he wanted wouldn't be ready in time so we found a bouquet of dry flowers. Sage thought it wasn't good enough, but I said now I won't have to dry them and they'll keep forever. Until a few years ago I still had them too. They got destroyed in a move. Also he almost made a huge mistake on the marriage license. He was talking to the scribe on the phone and he was giving my middle name. He double checked and asked me if it was Melissa and a good thing he did, because that's his ex-girlfriends middle name! That was also a huge joke all our marriage. That he almost put his ex's middle name on the license! I did my blood test, but we ended up not needing. We decided to get married to a justice of the peace in Louisiana since we didn't get the church till Easter. I wore a jean dress and he wore a black shirt and pants. My maid of honor wore a vest with her bra sticking out. His best man wore a tee shirt and jeans. Nice huh? We hod our reception at McDonalds. It's just cause we were hungry and it was right there, but still...WTF!?
The night before we got married they threw us a party full to the brim with alcohol. I was 18 so I didn't drink and I hated people underage drinking too. I had 0 tolerance for stupidity that came with it, so I was very uncomfortable at the party. At first Sage was just having a beer or two. Then all the guys went into the kitchen to toast our marriage and took a bottle of Southern Comfort with them. I didn't see Sage for a while after that and drunk people came coming up to me a congratulating me. I didn't know who these people were and I'm not sure if half of them even knew why they were there , except for the booze. This was when Zima was popular too so they all smelled like licorice. When I finally found Sage he was three sheets to the wind and had drunk 2/3 of the Southern Comfort by himself. This is how i found out the Sage is a happy drunk. He gets loud and wears a shit eating grin on his face. He also does this little dance. Later when he gained weight we dubbed it the Happy Fat Man Dance.I was so angry and disgusted that I just went to sleep, which was stupid because we were sleeping in a corner of the dining room area which was open and next to the living room. Around 0100 a bunch of guys convinced Sage he had enough and put him to bed. by then everyone was passed out drunk or playing video games. At 0130 Sage woke up with a stomach ache. I helped him to the bathroom as much as I could, but he crawled mostly. When he got in he barely made it to the toilet before he started violently throwing up. Now I don't deal well with people getting sick around me. I am a sympathetic vomiter so if I hear it, smell it, or see it I will do it. I tried to get out of the bathroom, but Sage's foot was blocking the door. It sounded like he was going to bring his shoes up next and i kept smashing the door against his foot trying to escape. After 20 min. he finally stopped and slunped over on the side. I dragged him to the bed again and exhausted feel asleep in the corner.
In the morning, Sage was still drunk. I brought him to shower and scrubbed the dried vomit off him and tried to get the smell of booze off him too. The cold water sobered him up a bit, and he was able to help me out. We managed to get dressed and to the church on time(song cue anyone? Anyone? Buller? Sorry couldn't resist. ;P The next day I was suppose to catch a plane, but I missed it! Sages friends were leaving for their Honeymoon so we had to get a hotel room for a few days. I didn't mind, now I had privacy with Sage and could do the walk around naked thing. We ate tons on Taco Bell and screwed a lot. At one point we were playing with whip cream in a can and when we were done I went to take a shower. sage thought it would be funny to shake up the can really good and spray me when I came out. The force that the can had pushed my back into the bathroom and got all over me again. I would have killed him, but I had to take another shower. I finally caught the plane and went home.
After being back at school for a week things finally settled down. Everyone got over the fact that I was married now and life returned to normal....except that I had a pain in my stomach and I couldn't figure out why. Pop drove me to West Point, where I had to go now that I was a military dependent, and I was seen by my first OBGYN. Another first for me, thanks to Sage and his whip cream blast, I had my first and only *crosses fingers* yeast infection. It was made more painful by the fact that I had Honeymoonitis. Yes it's a real word despite what spell check says. It happens when you have too much sex in a short amount of time like say 98 times in two weeks. You interior gets torn up to the pint that you flake skin when you pee. yeah not fun, I don't recommend it. I called Sage and blasted him over the phone. I was in so much pain I didn't go to school of a month!
Meanwhile I was finally dealing with my court hearing over the Grand Larceny I committed with Abuser. Thankfully I never had proceeding with him because I was tried as a youthful offender. I had a decent lawyer and instead of doing seven to eleven years I got five years probation and 6 months house arrest. That was fun going to school with that bracelet around my ankle. Then I had to check in constantly with this stupid machine that recorded me saying words. In July Sage came home and told me we were moving to Arizona. WTF!? How did we go from England to Arizona? Apparently it's just a thing they do to see where you want to go. There's no guarantees. So we packed up our lives and the newly wed happy couple flew at the Air Force expense to Tucson, AZ. Davis Monthan Air Force Base.
I hope you all have a great Holiday! I will continue this after the New year.
Mississippi was Hot! I mean real hot! I was dying the whole time and drank more then I ever thought and it was only March! Sage told me that some of the places he put in to be transferred to included England. I wasn't crazy about going over seas, but I was crazy about Sage! Outside of the base Sage showed me the gist of being on the base. Pizza and Porn. They ate a lot of pizza and went to the porn shop. Sage bought me this cute outfit from the shop and I adored it. In fact I wore it till it was shredded a few years ago. The base was fascinating and I met his friends and fellow soldiers. I took pictures of everything. We took a walk on the beach and it was very romantic. Not that I have to mention it, but we hadn't seen each other since December so we fucked like the Rabbits(he's born in 75' too)we are. :P
I stayed with a friend of his who was also getting married. They were getting married the week before us. Sage tried to prepare everything just right, but so much went wrong. The only day we could get the church was on Easter which was also his birthday. I made a joke that he can't forget our anniversary now. This joke would haunt me the rest of our marriage and become a huge annoyance. The bouquet he wanted wouldn't be ready in time so we found a bouquet of dry flowers. Sage thought it wasn't good enough, but I said now I won't have to dry them and they'll keep forever. Until a few years ago I still had them too. They got destroyed in a move. Also he almost made a huge mistake on the marriage license. He was talking to the scribe on the phone and he was giving my middle name. He double checked and asked me if it was Melissa and a good thing he did, because that's his ex-girlfriends middle name! That was also a huge joke all our marriage. That he almost put his ex's middle name on the license! I did my blood test, but we ended up not needing. We decided to get married to a justice of the peace in Louisiana since we didn't get the church till Easter. I wore a jean dress and he wore a black shirt and pants. My maid of honor wore a vest with her bra sticking out. His best man wore a tee shirt and jeans. Nice huh? We hod our reception at McDonalds. It's just cause we were hungry and it was right there, but still...WTF!?
The night before we got married they threw us a party full to the brim with alcohol. I was 18 so I didn't drink and I hated people underage drinking too. I had 0 tolerance for stupidity that came with it, so I was very uncomfortable at the party. At first Sage was just having a beer or two. Then all the guys went into the kitchen to toast our marriage and took a bottle of Southern Comfort with them. I didn't see Sage for a while after that and drunk people came coming up to me a congratulating me. I didn't know who these people were and I'm not sure if half of them even knew why they were there , except for the booze. This was when Zima was popular too so they all smelled like licorice. When I finally found Sage he was three sheets to the wind and had drunk 2/3 of the Southern Comfort by himself. This is how i found out the Sage is a happy drunk. He gets loud and wears a shit eating grin on his face. He also does this little dance. Later when he gained weight we dubbed it the Happy Fat Man Dance.I was so angry and disgusted that I just went to sleep, which was stupid because we were sleeping in a corner of the dining room area which was open and next to the living room. Around 0100 a bunch of guys convinced Sage he had enough and put him to bed. by then everyone was passed out drunk or playing video games. At 0130 Sage woke up with a stomach ache. I helped him to the bathroom as much as I could, but he crawled mostly. When he got in he barely made it to the toilet before he started violently throwing up. Now I don't deal well with people getting sick around me. I am a sympathetic vomiter so if I hear it, smell it, or see it I will do it. I tried to get out of the bathroom, but Sage's foot was blocking the door. It sounded like he was going to bring his shoes up next and i kept smashing the door against his foot trying to escape. After 20 min. he finally stopped and slunped over on the side. I dragged him to the bed again and exhausted feel asleep in the corner.
In the morning, Sage was still drunk. I brought him to shower and scrubbed the dried vomit off him and tried to get the smell of booze off him too. The cold water sobered him up a bit, and he was able to help me out. We managed to get dressed and to the church on time(song cue anyone? Anyone? Buller? Sorry couldn't resist. ;P The next day I was suppose to catch a plane, but I missed it! Sages friends were leaving for their Honeymoon so we had to get a hotel room for a few days. I didn't mind, now I had privacy with Sage and could do the walk around naked thing. We ate tons on Taco Bell and screwed a lot. At one point we were playing with whip cream in a can and when we were done I went to take a shower. sage thought it would be funny to shake up the can really good and spray me when I came out. The force that the can had pushed my back into the bathroom and got all over me again. I would have killed him, but I had to take another shower. I finally caught the plane and went home.
After being back at school for a week things finally settled down. Everyone got over the fact that I was married now and life returned to normal....except that I had a pain in my stomach and I couldn't figure out why. Pop drove me to West Point, where I had to go now that I was a military dependent, and I was seen by my first OBGYN. Another first for me, thanks to Sage and his whip cream blast, I had my first and only *crosses fingers* yeast infection. It was made more painful by the fact that I had Honeymoonitis. Yes it's a real word despite what spell check says. It happens when you have too much sex in a short amount of time like say 98 times in two weeks. You interior gets torn up to the pint that you flake skin when you pee. yeah not fun, I don't recommend it. I called Sage and blasted him over the phone. I was in so much pain I didn't go to school of a month!
Meanwhile I was finally dealing with my court hearing over the Grand Larceny I committed with Abuser. Thankfully I never had proceeding with him because I was tried as a youthful offender. I had a decent lawyer and instead of doing seven to eleven years I got five years probation and 6 months house arrest. That was fun going to school with that bracelet around my ankle. Then I had to check in constantly with this stupid machine that recorded me saying words. In July Sage came home and told me we were moving to Arizona. WTF!? How did we go from England to Arizona? Apparently it's just a thing they do to see where you want to go. There's no guarantees. So we packed up our lives and the newly wed happy couple flew at the Air Force expense to Tucson, AZ. Davis Monthan Air Force Base.
I hope you all have a great Holiday! I will continue this after the New year.