another day
so, its just another date day for me.....again, usually ending with me feeling hurt. i wanted to today to be awsome, instead it ended just as the others do. feeling exhausted and depressed and not knowing what to do. i feel so alone. i wish he understood how he made me feel. hes not like the rest, hes something really special but like why..why does he feel the need to put me down. i know hes joking around about it..and i want somebody to joke around with but like..he picks on me. he makes me feel like trash. i feel like trash. i just wannt to go back home again and be around people who love me. i hate myself....thats the worst part. why doesnt he understand? why doenst he just hug me..kiss me..doing the little things. i just want to be held, i just want somebody to talk to. this feeling has never happened before and idk what to do.
other then that...any body know when graduation day 2010 is for may? there is now a need for me to get out of here, i cant wait to. i saw sex and the city today and it made me want to get out even faster. i just want to move to a city and LIVE MY LIFE. i want to go meet people like me and who want to be with me. i feel so blah right now.
i also cant find my wallet. its mia somewhere and idk what to do. ughhh i have money and everything else important in there. so im kinda fucked....it has to be in the room some place. more looking to do.
sex and the city was good. it made me think of me and courtney. france is readily approaching!! i cannot wait! so so soon...so soon until i have a life..for one month. one month of pure happiness.