Wow.
Wow. So I've been graduated for a week now. I've had so many different waves of emotions its hard to know where to start. I feel like getting my diploma was a slap in the face. For many reasons. 1.) I never really worked that hard in highschool, yet somehow I made it throught with C's and B's. All I did was give people the bull-shit that they wanted. I don't deserve my diploma, because to me all it represents is 4 years of lying. 4 years of deciet. Not 4 years of success. 2.) Wow. There really are no second chances in life. Whether good or bad, there are none. You have one life to live, and hopefully everything works out in the end. And if it never does, there is always hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a fresh start. Which is ironic, because we know that we've got one life to live, so is a fresh start really an option? 3.) I've realized that we only see the cover, we only see what people want us to see. Why can't I meet someone who I can share a deep conversation with? Somebody to embrace me with their warm arms? WHY I ASK? But I know why. Because I'm afraid. And as I sit here typing this, all I can do is laugh at myself. Am I really going to hit enter this time? Will people take the time read this? If they do, I hope they don't think I'm crazy. If they don't, then I know I'm crazy. Or maybe everyone has these thoughts, or maybe its just me. So now that I've named all the possible out comes, which one will it be? I think I try to anticipate everything too much. I over analyse everything. And it drives me the brink of insanity. I'm surrounded by friends yet I feel so alone. I want something that will be consistent. I don't like change. And again, more irony for the fact that change is the only thing that doesn't change. I have so much to say yet I feel so speechless. This is the story of my life.
I hope maybe someone can relate?
I hope maybe someone can relate?