(no subject)
it's strange how things can change so fast....like in the blink of an eye, something is gone or something is different or something will never be the same again. it's such an odd feeling. there's nothing you can do about it, and it's nothing you can control. you worry all the time about these things changing and these things coming, but honestly, you can't control them so why worry about them?? it's not in your power to control what's going to happen in the future, because one never knows what the future holds. in your life, in relationships, your friendships, there are always going to be things that happen that you'll have to deal with and go with, accept and move on. it's a scary thing out there, life and all that.....the world. i feel like walking around outside, under the stars at camp, not feeling afraid of anything. i've always been afraid of the dark, always. but when i'm at camp, i'm invincible. it's like, the dark doesn't affect me, i'm just apart of it. i wanna wake up in the morning, way too early in the morning, and hear the birds chirping and the crickets going. i wanna wake up and walk down to the barn, and see the horses and smell the grain. my favorite thing whenever i woke up at camp was the smell of the dew in the morning, and how it always got my boots all wet, and how there was nothing i could do about it. my feet would be soaking wet, and i loved it. i want to walk around at night and lay in the grass and look at the stars. the stars down at the ranch, enhanced only by the fireflies flickering in the trees at night. i want to hear little girls screaming at the pool, and laughter in the dining hall, and crying at closing campfire. i want to hear, smell, and see it all. i miss it so much.