I wish I had friends, but I don't know where they live.
Hi, everyone. Does anyone still read me? Does anyone still share their life here? Doesn’t seem that way. What are we all doing now that we’re old? Do you consider yourself old? I actually don’t. I am pretty child-like. I still feel joy at simple things, still am attracted to things that betray a slight sense of naivety on my part, and just generally act like I am younger than my ID claims I am. Despite the depression, I feel young more often than not.
I only feel old when sitting at school and listening to all the classmates talk about their teenage lives. I’ve had high school students in multiple classes at this college. Like sophomores! One girl I thought was at least 21 just turned 17 last month. I have been here for 2 years, and there have only been about 6 people who have been anywhere near my age.
It gets disheartening. Like, what did I do so wrong that I am stuck in community college at 35?
And it’s not just that feeling of ennui, but I feel so disconnected. Like, on my own, I am happy to buy toys and watch Young Justice, but when in a room full of people who can’t legally drink beer, I feel fake and like a creeper. It’s hard enough for someone with my self-esteem level to date, but toss in the fact that virtually everyone I have tried asking out in two years has expressed disinterest b/c I am so much older than them, and yeah…it sucks.
I HEAR about girls who don’t mind an age difference, but have yet to meet one. And really, I can’t blame them. I am a good person, a good guy to date, but we all have our limits. While I personally think you should give everyone a chance as long as they aren’t criminals or some other terrible thing, I can understand not wanting to date someone who is 10-16 years older than you.
And so I just try not to think about dating at all. But I’m 35. I want to share my life.
My school has given us temporary subscriptions to MS Office 365, Microsoft’s online office suite. It’s valid as long as you are a registered student. I was trying to use it to share documents with a classmate for our group project, but apparently have no idea how to use it.
I installed it, but after working in Power Point, I tried to upload the file and couldn’t. Apparently, I worked in the regular version, not the online version. So, I emailed her the file and will try to figure out the app later. I don’t really care since I hate Microsoft and can just use Google Drive or email attachments, but I have the damn thing, so figure I should at least try to use it properly.
Hallmark Stores are selling Rainbow Brite dolls! I checked and no one else is, so I am totally buying one next week. They are $30 and her companion, Sprite, is $15. The website doesn’t list any of her friends, but that’s ok. I don’t care what anyone says, I LOVED Rainbow Brite as a kid.
Like seriously, cutesy, moralistic cartoons like that which preach friendship and acceptance are my jam. It’s why I occasionally watch “Transformers Rescue Bots”, and why I think the new My Little Pony series is so popular with adults. We have a longing in our hearts for throwbacks to simpler storytelling. We miss stories about being accepted as we are, having friends stick up for you, and just general compassionate and community centric tales.
As a kid, I watched plenty of action-oriented things like Transformers and Silverhawks, but I also liked the so-called girl shows like Rainbow Brite, Jem, and Care Bears. Which I don’t think Care Bears had a regular series, just the movies, but yeah, I am a sucker for that stuff.
Life is life. Nothing too exciting. I sometimes post what happens in my day on FB, but try not to. Trying to slip quietly into the background so I can disappear one day and fade from your memories.
There is an early childhood education conference at the end of March. I am thinking of attending. It is only $63 for students, but the problem is it is two hours away in Grand Rapids, MI. It’s a 3-day conference, so I’d need a hotel room. I found some cheap hotels 5 miles from the conference hotel, so I have to decide if I want to deal with the hassle of planning this trip. It would be my first “grown-up” type trip.
The conference starts on Thursday for some annoying reason, and the opening session is at 0830. So, I’d either have to drive from my hotel and find parking in downtown Grand Rapids, or catch the bus. I’ve been there once, and they actually have a good transit system, but my issue is getting to the conference by 0830. I’d need to be up and out very early.
It’s bad enough I have to be there so early in the first place.
So, pay for parking, or wake up even earlier.
Next, I have class on Wednesdays. Hotels make you wait till like noon or 1PM to check in. So, I either have to pay for an extra day in the hotel and skip class Wednesday, or just wake up hella early Thursday and make the two-hour drive in the dark. The check out time is also an annoyance because of Saturday.
Conference is over at 1500, but I would need to check out by noon. So, I either pay for a another extra day, come back after 1500, crash, and leave Sunday morning, or check out early on my way to conference and just leave for Detroit once it’s over.
So, yeah. Have to think about all of this and if I really want to go. The program makes it seem worthwhile, I’d learn some good info, but is it worth the rigmarole?
I only feel old when sitting at school and listening to all the classmates talk about their teenage lives. I’ve had high school students in multiple classes at this college. Like sophomores! One girl I thought was at least 21 just turned 17 last month. I have been here for 2 years, and there have only been about 6 people who have been anywhere near my age.
It gets disheartening. Like, what did I do so wrong that I am stuck in community college at 35?
And it’s not just that feeling of ennui, but I feel so disconnected. Like, on my own, I am happy to buy toys and watch Young Justice, but when in a room full of people who can’t legally drink beer, I feel fake and like a creeper. It’s hard enough for someone with my self-esteem level to date, but toss in the fact that virtually everyone I have tried asking out in two years has expressed disinterest b/c I am so much older than them, and yeah…it sucks.
I HEAR about girls who don’t mind an age difference, but have yet to meet one. And really, I can’t blame them. I am a good person, a good guy to date, but we all have our limits. While I personally think you should give everyone a chance as long as they aren’t criminals or some other terrible thing, I can understand not wanting to date someone who is 10-16 years older than you.
And so I just try not to think about dating at all. But I’m 35. I want to share my life.
My school has given us temporary subscriptions to MS Office 365, Microsoft’s online office suite. It’s valid as long as you are a registered student. I was trying to use it to share documents with a classmate for our group project, but apparently have no idea how to use it.
I installed it, but after working in Power Point, I tried to upload the file and couldn’t. Apparently, I worked in the regular version, not the online version. So, I emailed her the file and will try to figure out the app later. I don’t really care since I hate Microsoft and can just use Google Drive or email attachments, but I have the damn thing, so figure I should at least try to use it properly.
Hallmark Stores are selling Rainbow Brite dolls! I checked and no one else is, so I am totally buying one next week. They are $30 and her companion, Sprite, is $15. The website doesn’t list any of her friends, but that’s ok. I don’t care what anyone says, I LOVED Rainbow Brite as a kid.
Like seriously, cutesy, moralistic cartoons like that which preach friendship and acceptance are my jam. It’s why I occasionally watch “Transformers Rescue Bots”, and why I think the new My Little Pony series is so popular with adults. We have a longing in our hearts for throwbacks to simpler storytelling. We miss stories about being accepted as we are, having friends stick up for you, and just general compassionate and community centric tales.
As a kid, I watched plenty of action-oriented things like Transformers and Silverhawks, but I also liked the so-called girl shows like Rainbow Brite, Jem, and Care Bears. Which I don’t think Care Bears had a regular series, just the movies, but yeah, I am a sucker for that stuff.
Life is life. Nothing too exciting. I sometimes post what happens in my day on FB, but try not to. Trying to slip quietly into the background so I can disappear one day and fade from your memories.
There is an early childhood education conference at the end of March. I am thinking of attending. It is only $63 for students, but the problem is it is two hours away in Grand Rapids, MI. It’s a 3-day conference, so I’d need a hotel room. I found some cheap hotels 5 miles from the conference hotel, so I have to decide if I want to deal with the hassle of planning this trip. It would be my first “grown-up” type trip.
The conference starts on Thursday for some annoying reason, and the opening session is at 0830. So, I’d either have to drive from my hotel and find parking in downtown Grand Rapids, or catch the bus. I’ve been there once, and they actually have a good transit system, but my issue is getting to the conference by 0830. I’d need to be up and out very early.
It’s bad enough I have to be there so early in the first place.
So, pay for parking, or wake up even earlier.
Next, I have class on Wednesdays. Hotels make you wait till like noon or 1PM to check in. So, I either have to pay for an extra day in the hotel and skip class Wednesday, or just wake up hella early Thursday and make the two-hour drive in the dark. The check out time is also an annoyance because of Saturday.
Conference is over at 1500, but I would need to check out by noon. So, I either pay for a another extra day, come back after 1500, crash, and leave Sunday morning, or check out early on my way to conference and just leave for Detroit once it’s over.
So, yeah. Have to think about all of this and if I really want to go. The program makes it seem worthwhile, I’d learn some good info, but is it worth the rigmarole?