I can't decide what the theme song for this post/year should be. It's somewhere between
So Fresh, So Clean and
The New Year. I'm open to suggestions!
You guys, I'm overfull. I've always been overfull. I don't sit still well. I don't clean up well. I don't organize well. I don't do anything adults should be capable of doing well, really. A few months ago I finally got so fed up with myself that I started going to therapy and now I kind of want to carry through on some of those meager gains by sort of cleaning myself up in the next year. Maybe getting a handle on some of these things will make me believe I'm not simply a thing that might happen to someone with drastic consequences! Maybe I'd believe myself worthy of adult relationships! Who knows!
Space
- go through drawers and throw/give things away
- go through shoes and throw/give things away
- turn shoe organizer into hat/scarf/gloves organizer
- get rid of shoe shelves and replace with something to organize craft supplies
- organize craft supplies
- get frames and hang art
- go through snes games/comics/dvds and give things away
- I got rid of 2/3 of my stuff before I moved. HOW DO I STILL HAVE SO MUCH STUFF?
Body
- phase out soda
- drink more water
- plan meals that are at least a little healthy
- bring your own lunch to work at least once a week
- exercise and log it
- floss
- stop buying baked goods when you’re sad you idiot, being fat makes you sad and cookies keep you fat and you’ve known this for literally ever you stubborn, self-destructive jerk
Brain
- stop being a stubborn, self-destructive jerk
- do not count calories, that way lies madness
- continue going to therapy
- write every day
- go to bed at a decent hour
- learn to meditate maybe
- tell people when you’re thinking nice things about them
- find a poetry course and take it
- start using something like mint to track spending and debt (budget)
Anyway, I'm feeling optimistic, as I often do before I give up and completely fail on something. I think I might want to look into a bullet journal, the format of which would help me track things on all these different fronts? Like, if I could have daily tick/info boxes for say budget, water drunk, exercise, flossing, writing, working out, and meditating? Or I guess not a real bullet journal. Bullet journals are overwhelming and stress me out. I don't think I have the spoons for maintaining a journal AND ticking boxes/inputting info. Maybe just get a pocket calendar and fill in slots every day?
Do any of you have experience with bullet journals or good day at a glance apps maybe? I need something easy and foolproof. I do not need to be distracted by washi tape because, as noted, I already own too many crafting supplies.
Help! I need an adult! Because really, all I want to do is turn myself into the best version of myself, and I'm currently so far from being that person that I'm overwhelmed by the thought of what it's going to take to be her. Pfah.
I did do a whole bunch of budget adulting things today, though. I took money from savings to pay off a credit card and opened a new checking account that I'm going direct deposit money into and then set up to autopay to the remaining credit cards. That way I know A) how much money is coming out for it each paycheck and I don't have to move things around or have the beginning of the month be so drastically front loaded spending wise, B) that they'll be paid on time and I won't be accruing late fees because I'm a ditz, and C) maybe I can forget about them like I did those loans the savings account was started for to begin with and one day I'll just wake up and wooo, they'll be paid off!
Wouldn't that be a miracle. This burst of adulting brought to you by me freaking out about how much money I'm going to have to put into my HSA every month to be able to afford therapy for the next year. My life sure is rivetting! Ugh, money has always been my #1 nemesis. How do people even?