Fic: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (16/17)
Title: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (16/17)
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series.
Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: The chapter you've all been waiting for! Rose and the Doctor start to talk. Last chapter and some resolution next week! Finally!
Dedicated to Foalen on Teaspoon. Thanks to
sinecure for putting up with all my complaining about this fic and for her flawless beta'ing and not being afraid to tell me when something sucks. :)
~~~
When Rose turns to him, tears brimming in her eyes and a trembling smile ghosting over her face, it takes his breath away.
There's a whole room, complete with bed and Jack, separating the two of them, but all the Doctor can see is her. Nothing else matters, none of it. All the whispers of deep, dark secrets and horrible mistakes are drowned out by the pounding of his hearts when she takes that first tentative step towards him.
Then, suddenly, she stops, the look of elation on her face falters, replaced with one of uncertainty. He knows, can see it in her eyes, that she's unsure if, after everything that's happened, she's still welcome here, with him. He can't blame her for feeling that way, after the things she's said, the things he's done.
They've both been through so much just to get here, to this point.
He's probably not helping matters any, either, coming in more concerned with his anger at Jack than his excitement at seeing her again. He's holding himself back, worried about her reaction to his presence and burying himself in ridiculous matters that aren't all that important after all.
So he gives her what she needs, what he's been wanting to do since he first made it back to Earth: he lets his face split into its biggest Rose-only grin and that's all it takes to get her moving again.
The impact of her body colliding with his makes him sway on his feet, but he's had plenty of experience with her jump-in-his-arms hugs and he manages to keep both of them upright. Wrapping his arms around her waist and gripping tightly, his fingers dig into the material of her shirt. Even a fleet of Dalek ships couldn't rip him away from her right now, and he has a feeling she's thinking the same thing.
Her arms are twined around him, fingers tangling deeply in the strands of hair at the nape of his neck. It feels so good to hold her again, to be held by her. Her soft body pressed against his, her face buried in the crook of his neck, warm breath ghosting over his skin. It's just like old times again and it's almost as though he's seeing her for the very first time since Bad Wolf Bay.
Without letting her go--because he is never, ever going to do that again--he draws back to rest his forehead against hers. "Missed you," he whispers.
She laughs, that beautiful, musical laugh that makes his hearts sing, as tears trail down her cheeks. "Missed you too," she breathes. Then she buries her head in his shoulder, pulling him in so close he feels as if she's trying to burrow into him.
A desire he understands completely.
There's a soft click behind him as the bedroom door closes, reminding him that they hadn't been alone. His arms tighten around Rose, knowing that all of this almost didn't happen, all because of Jack. That, because of the man's irresponsible behavior, the Doctor could've lost her forever.
Despite his obvious disagreement with the action, she pulls back slightly, her attention now focused on the door. "Jack?" she says hopefully, but then sighs at the sight of the empty room.
He can't help but feel a small amount of pleasure that she, too, forgot all about the Captain.
She's untangling herself from his embrace and he's yearns for the feel of her the instant they're separated. Hiding a groan of disappointment, he watches her reach for the doorknob, knowing that she intends to go after Jack, something he cannot let happen.
Now is their time, his and Rose's, and he isn't going to let anyone steal that away from them.
Quick as can be, he covers her hand with his own, holding it in place. "No, Rose. Let him go." The shiver that runs through her is almost instantaneous, and he wonders if he caused that, if he's actually able to affect her that easily. "It's not important. This, however," he grabs her chin with soft, insistent fingers, turning her head until she's facing him. "Us. Me and you. That's what's important."
Her eyes widen just a tiniest bit and he thinks he may have surprised her with his touch. She isn't used to this sort of intimacy between them, but that's all right, because, if he has his way, there'll be a lot more in the future.
Just not right now apparently.
"I shouldn't have ignored him like that," she says, slowly drawing away from the Doctor and regaining her composure. "I've been treating him like rubbish lately. Been treating a lot of people like rubbish, actually." Her eyes dart quickly to his before she drops her gaze to the floor.
He can't deny it, won't deny it, because he's seen the way she's been acting towards the people around her, even those she loves. Even him. He's been on the receiving end of just such treatment himself quite a bit lately. With her finally on speaking terms with him again though, maybe he can finally get down to the reasons behind the abrupt change in her behavior.
"Why is that?" he asks, his voice carefully free of accusation or blame, as he tightens his hand around hers.
"I haven't exactly been myself lately," she says with a wry chuckle.
His lips turn up in a rueful smile. "I had noticed that, yeah."
She doesn't respond, just takes a deep breath and continues to avoid his gaze. He needs her to look at him, needs her to see that he's not angry, that he's just worried. Her eyes, however, are everywhere else but where he wants them to be. She's alternating between the floor, their hands, the wall behind him, and it's so frustrating that she won't look at him.
"Rose, talk to me. Please."
She swallows thickly, brows dipping into a frown and he can see her closing herself off from him. She's playing the avoidance game he taught her so well, the one he's done playing himself now. He's put away his pawn, closed the board on that particular part of his life, and he's not about to let her go on fighting a battle where there's no hope for a winner.
His fingers lift her chin, forcing her to look at him again, forcing her to confront this head on. "Rose."
She gives a small, jerky nod and draws away from his hand, nervously tucking her lank hair behind her ear. "Okay." The word is barely more than a whisper and he has to strain to hear it, but he feels a hard won sense of victory.
Squeezing her hand again, he draws her over to the bed, pulling her down beside him. "How long have you been hallucinating?"
She swallows before raising her head to look him in the eye and he's struck by the exhaustion he sees there. "A few weeks. The first time was at a chip shop."
Cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand, feeling the warmth seeping from her skin to his, he holds her gaze steady with his own. "Tell me about them?"
She takes a deep, shuddering breath. "They started off...well, I figured it was nothing at first. Jus' wishful thinking, ya know? Or maybe mistaken identity. A pinstriped arm or a pair of trainers, a noise that sounded like the sonic screwdriver... stupid," she scoffs quietly, rolling her eyes.
He brushes his thumb gently across her cheek, not liking the way she's dismissing herself like that. "Stress can play tricks with the mind. It's a completely understandable reaction." He smiles fondly at her, hoping for something, some spark of the happiness she was so recently feeling. It's obvious she puts in the effort, but only just barely manages a slight upturning of her lips. "Rose, it's the brain's way of dealing with all the extra stress that you can't get rid of in other ways." Tapping a finger against her forehead, he smiles wider. "Human minds can be a wonderful or frightening place."
She nods briefly in understanding, leaning into his touch. "But it got worse. I started seeing--I started seeing your face. Staring at me like...like you were waiting for something. Like you wanted something from me." As she starts to relive the memories, her voice begins to shake and he can see the fear in her eyes. "It was so real..."
"I'm sure it felt that way. Hallucinations can be very powerful things." He squeezes her hand, trying to reassure her, to let her know that she's safe now. He's here and he isn't going to let anything happen to her. Almost as an afterthought--though not really since this is the other concern that has been haunting him--he continues, "Even more so when drugs or alcohol are involved."
"No," she shakes her head adamantly, forcefully. "I didn't...I didn't start-- the drinking was to get rid of the hallucinations." She clenches her free hand in her lap. "To make them stop."
That...well, that definitely changes things a bit. "You drank because of the hallucinations, not the other way around?"
She bites her thumbnail nervously. "Yeah."
He mulls this new bit of information around in his mind, letting the importance of it slowly sink in. Rose has never been anything if not a strong, stubborn young woman, and the thought of her turning to alcohol to deal with something she couldn't handle doesn't sit well with him.
But neither does the thought that she was hallucinating for no reason other than stress.
If she was having these visions of him, visions that were real enough to scare her that badly, and there was no alcohol in her system causing them, then she's either been more stressed than he thought or something else was going on here. "Did you come into contact with any alien races shortly before it started happening?"
"No," she scoffs, shaking her head again. "Pete's got me on desk duty for the rest of my life."
The Doctor, for one, is grateful for that. An inebriated Rose running around dealing with alien forces is...is a nightmare in the making. He keeps that particular opinion to himself though, seeing as she's obviously quite bitter about the situation. "Did you work with, or around, any alien devices?"
She chuckles. "I work for Torchwood, Doctor. There're alien devices everywhere. And Jack's always bringing home some gadget or another to see if it can get him and the rest of his team back to the other universe."
It doesn't surprise him that Jack would be so stupid as to bring potentially dangerous items home. It's bad enough that these humans have access to such things, but to bring them out of the relative safety of Torchwood...that's just plain irresponsible.
When had Jack become so self-involved and uncaring about the safety of others?
But that is neither here nor there at the moment. Returning to the conversation at hand, he lets his eyes wander over Rose, taking note once more of how thin she is and how tired and unhealthy she has become. He scratches the back of his head, thinking about the problem "Anything in particular Jack was working with just before you saw me?"
"I don't know." She shrugs her shoulders. "There were so many of them, and I wasn't exactly..." she trails off with a sigh. Meeting his eyes she continues, "I haven't been spending much time with Jack. Or anyone else for that matter." Her voice cracks and the Doctor's hearts break just a little at the loneliness he sees mirrored in her expression
An all-too-familiar loneliness.
Alien influence forgotten for the moment, he stares into her eyes and sees the pain there, pain that she has been dealing with for far too long. "You were hurting," he tells her softly, feeling the words touch a certain part of himself that identifies with them too.
"Yeah," she sniffs, trying to fight back the tears that are threatening to break loose. "I--" she stops and takes a deep breath. "I missed you." She's crying again, and it's so reminiscent of that day on the beach that his hearts clench at the sight. "It was three years ago today that--"
"I know," he whispers, and with tender fingers, he brushes back the hair that has fallen into her eyes, feels that pain with her. Three years ago, both their lives were changed forever, and in some ways, ended. Oh, he'd managed to go on, but the light in his life was diminished greatly by the loss of Rose.
He can only imagine it was the same for her.
No longer trying to hold back the torrent of tears, she turns to him, fisting her hands in his shirt. "And then I got back to you, but I couldn't...Jack said that--" she's swallowing thickly, biting back the words that he can see she isn't ready to share just yet. "I was so angry, Doctor, I thought...but then there you were and I was scared and I couldn't tell you why. But it didn't matter anymore because the Wraith and--and you were gone and I thought you were dead and I was never going to see you again." Huge, shuddering sobs wrack her body.
"Oh, Rose," he grasps her by the shoulders, holding her gaze with his own. "I'm sorry. I don't understand everything you've been through, but know this: I will always come back to you while I'm able. Always," he finishes with fierce determination, pulling her into his embrace. "For as long as you want me to."
Smoothing her hair with his hand, he makes shushing noises that he knows she can't hear, but make him feel better nevertheless.
If he had known...even not knowing he can't help but feel he should've done something. He could've tried to talk to her, forced her to tell him what was happening that was so horrible that she couldn't even bear to see him. Instead he'd simply closed himself off, like he always does when the threat of emotions gets too close. If he had tried though--well, it didn't mean things would've ended any differently, did it, because they still would've had to fight the Wraith, and though he knows he would've fought harder to stay by her side...
The truth of the matter is, he gave up. Once before, the thought of not having her in his life was enough to push him to the edge. And if it hadn't been for the interference of a lone Dalek, the Doctor would've died with open arms that day in New York.
An odd sort of vibration against his side rips him from those memories of so long ago and it takes him a second to figure out what it is. "Rose," he mumbles into her hair, not wanting to release her. "I think your--"
With a certain amount of reluctance, she pulls away from him and digs around in her pocket. "It's mum," she sighs, glancing at her mobile. "I should probably answer."
Breaking free of her grip on him, he stands and moves across the room. He's not willing to leave her side, not yet, not even to give her the privacy she deserves. Jackie knows Rose is safe and sound within the TARDIS, he made certain of that, but she's probably worried nonetheless. After hearing first hand what Rose has gone through, he's more than a little concerned himself.
He's not entirely convinced the hallucinations weren't being caused by an alien influence of some sort. She may not have had any direct contact with anything other than loads of paperwork over the last few months, but that doesn't mean that something hasn't affected her. The only way to be sure is to check for any sort of anomalous readings, but he hadn't seen anything unusual when he scanned her before, so that leaves him back at square one again.
"You'd think I was still two, the way she acts," Rose chuckles, rolling her eyes and pocketing her mobile again.
"She's worried about you, and rightly so." He returns to his spot on the bed next to her, draping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to bring you home for a bit. To reassure her."
She nods slightly before resting her head on his chest. "I suppose I could use a shower and change of clothes." She pauses, making no move to get up, to break contact with him. "Would you come with--"
"Oh, I'm not letting you out of my sight anytime soon, Rose Tyler."
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series.
Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: The chapter you've all been waiting for! Rose and the Doctor start to talk. Last chapter and some resolution next week! Finally!
Dedicated to Foalen on Teaspoon. Thanks to
sinecure for putting up with all my complaining about this fic and for her flawless beta'ing and not being afraid to tell me when something sucks. :)
~~~
When Rose turns to him, tears brimming in her eyes and a trembling smile ghosting over her face, it takes his breath away.
There's a whole room, complete with bed and Jack, separating the two of them, but all the Doctor can see is her. Nothing else matters, none of it. All the whispers of deep, dark secrets and horrible mistakes are drowned out by the pounding of his hearts when she takes that first tentative step towards him.
Then, suddenly, she stops, the look of elation on her face falters, replaced with one of uncertainty. He knows, can see it in her eyes, that she's unsure if, after everything that's happened, she's still welcome here, with him. He can't blame her for feeling that way, after the things she's said, the things he's done.
They've both been through so much just to get here, to this point.
He's probably not helping matters any, either, coming in more concerned with his anger at Jack than his excitement at seeing her again. He's holding himself back, worried about her reaction to his presence and burying himself in ridiculous matters that aren't all that important after all.
So he gives her what she needs, what he's been wanting to do since he first made it back to Earth: he lets his face split into its biggest Rose-only grin and that's all it takes to get her moving again.
The impact of her body colliding with his makes him sway on his feet, but he's had plenty of experience with her jump-in-his-arms hugs and he manages to keep both of them upright. Wrapping his arms around her waist and gripping tightly, his fingers dig into the material of her shirt. Even a fleet of Dalek ships couldn't rip him away from her right now, and he has a feeling she's thinking the same thing.
Her arms are twined around him, fingers tangling deeply in the strands of hair at the nape of his neck. It feels so good to hold her again, to be held by her. Her soft body pressed against his, her face buried in the crook of his neck, warm breath ghosting over his skin. It's just like old times again and it's almost as though he's seeing her for the very first time since Bad Wolf Bay.
Without letting her go--because he is never, ever going to do that again--he draws back to rest his forehead against hers. "Missed you," he whispers.
She laughs, that beautiful, musical laugh that makes his hearts sing, as tears trail down her cheeks. "Missed you too," she breathes. Then she buries her head in his shoulder, pulling him in so close he feels as if she's trying to burrow into him.
A desire he understands completely.
There's a soft click behind him as the bedroom door closes, reminding him that they hadn't been alone. His arms tighten around Rose, knowing that all of this almost didn't happen, all because of Jack. That, because of the man's irresponsible behavior, the Doctor could've lost her forever.
Despite his obvious disagreement with the action, she pulls back slightly, her attention now focused on the door. "Jack?" she says hopefully, but then sighs at the sight of the empty room.
He can't help but feel a small amount of pleasure that she, too, forgot all about the Captain.
She's untangling herself from his embrace and he's yearns for the feel of her the instant they're separated. Hiding a groan of disappointment, he watches her reach for the doorknob, knowing that she intends to go after Jack, something he cannot let happen.
Now is their time, his and Rose's, and he isn't going to let anyone steal that away from them.
Quick as can be, he covers her hand with his own, holding it in place. "No, Rose. Let him go." The shiver that runs through her is almost instantaneous, and he wonders if he caused that, if he's actually able to affect her that easily. "It's not important. This, however," he grabs her chin with soft, insistent fingers, turning her head until she's facing him. "Us. Me and you. That's what's important."
Her eyes widen just a tiniest bit and he thinks he may have surprised her with his touch. She isn't used to this sort of intimacy between them, but that's all right, because, if he has his way, there'll be a lot more in the future.
Just not right now apparently.
"I shouldn't have ignored him like that," she says, slowly drawing away from the Doctor and regaining her composure. "I've been treating him like rubbish lately. Been treating a lot of people like rubbish, actually." Her eyes dart quickly to his before she drops her gaze to the floor.
He can't deny it, won't deny it, because he's seen the way she's been acting towards the people around her, even those she loves. Even him. He's been on the receiving end of just such treatment himself quite a bit lately. With her finally on speaking terms with him again though, maybe he can finally get down to the reasons behind the abrupt change in her behavior.
"Why is that?" he asks, his voice carefully free of accusation or blame, as he tightens his hand around hers.
"I haven't exactly been myself lately," she says with a wry chuckle.
His lips turn up in a rueful smile. "I had noticed that, yeah."
She doesn't respond, just takes a deep breath and continues to avoid his gaze. He needs her to look at him, needs her to see that he's not angry, that he's just worried. Her eyes, however, are everywhere else but where he wants them to be. She's alternating between the floor, their hands, the wall behind him, and it's so frustrating that she won't look at him.
"Rose, talk to me. Please."
She swallows thickly, brows dipping into a frown and he can see her closing herself off from him. She's playing the avoidance game he taught her so well, the one he's done playing himself now. He's put away his pawn, closed the board on that particular part of his life, and he's not about to let her go on fighting a battle where there's no hope for a winner.
His fingers lift her chin, forcing her to look at him again, forcing her to confront this head on. "Rose."
She gives a small, jerky nod and draws away from his hand, nervously tucking her lank hair behind her ear. "Okay." The word is barely more than a whisper and he has to strain to hear it, but he feels a hard won sense of victory.
Squeezing her hand again, he draws her over to the bed, pulling her down beside him. "How long have you been hallucinating?"
She swallows before raising her head to look him in the eye and he's struck by the exhaustion he sees there. "A few weeks. The first time was at a chip shop."
Cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand, feeling the warmth seeping from her skin to his, he holds her gaze steady with his own. "Tell me about them?"
She takes a deep, shuddering breath. "They started off...well, I figured it was nothing at first. Jus' wishful thinking, ya know? Or maybe mistaken identity. A pinstriped arm or a pair of trainers, a noise that sounded like the sonic screwdriver... stupid," she scoffs quietly, rolling her eyes.
He brushes his thumb gently across her cheek, not liking the way she's dismissing herself like that. "Stress can play tricks with the mind. It's a completely understandable reaction." He smiles fondly at her, hoping for something, some spark of the happiness she was so recently feeling. It's obvious she puts in the effort, but only just barely manages a slight upturning of her lips. "Rose, it's the brain's way of dealing with all the extra stress that you can't get rid of in other ways." Tapping a finger against her forehead, he smiles wider. "Human minds can be a wonderful or frightening place."
She nods briefly in understanding, leaning into his touch. "But it got worse. I started seeing--I started seeing your face. Staring at me like...like you were waiting for something. Like you wanted something from me." As she starts to relive the memories, her voice begins to shake and he can see the fear in her eyes. "It was so real..."
"I'm sure it felt that way. Hallucinations can be very powerful things." He squeezes her hand, trying to reassure her, to let her know that she's safe now. He's here and he isn't going to let anything happen to her. Almost as an afterthought--though not really since this is the other concern that has been haunting him--he continues, "Even more so when drugs or alcohol are involved."
"No," she shakes her head adamantly, forcefully. "I didn't...I didn't start-- the drinking was to get rid of the hallucinations." She clenches her free hand in her lap. "To make them stop."
That...well, that definitely changes things a bit. "You drank because of the hallucinations, not the other way around?"
She bites her thumbnail nervously. "Yeah."
He mulls this new bit of information around in his mind, letting the importance of it slowly sink in. Rose has never been anything if not a strong, stubborn young woman, and the thought of her turning to alcohol to deal with something she couldn't handle doesn't sit well with him.
But neither does the thought that she was hallucinating for no reason other than stress.
If she was having these visions of him, visions that were real enough to scare her that badly, and there was no alcohol in her system causing them, then she's either been more stressed than he thought or something else was going on here. "Did you come into contact with any alien races shortly before it started happening?"
"No," she scoffs, shaking her head again. "Pete's got me on desk duty for the rest of my life."
The Doctor, for one, is grateful for that. An inebriated Rose running around dealing with alien forces is...is a nightmare in the making. He keeps that particular opinion to himself though, seeing as she's obviously quite bitter about the situation. "Did you work with, or around, any alien devices?"
She chuckles. "I work for Torchwood, Doctor. There're alien devices everywhere. And Jack's always bringing home some gadget or another to see if it can get him and the rest of his team back to the other universe."
It doesn't surprise him that Jack would be so stupid as to bring potentially dangerous items home. It's bad enough that these humans have access to such things, but to bring them out of the relative safety of Torchwood...that's just plain irresponsible.
When had Jack become so self-involved and uncaring about the safety of others?
But that is neither here nor there at the moment. Returning to the conversation at hand, he lets his eyes wander over Rose, taking note once more of how thin she is and how tired and unhealthy she has become. He scratches the back of his head, thinking about the problem "Anything in particular Jack was working with just before you saw me?"
"I don't know." She shrugs her shoulders. "There were so many of them, and I wasn't exactly..." she trails off with a sigh. Meeting his eyes she continues, "I haven't been spending much time with Jack. Or anyone else for that matter." Her voice cracks and the Doctor's hearts break just a little at the loneliness he sees mirrored in her expression
An all-too-familiar loneliness.
Alien influence forgotten for the moment, he stares into her eyes and sees the pain there, pain that she has been dealing with for far too long. "You were hurting," he tells her softly, feeling the words touch a certain part of himself that identifies with them too.
"Yeah," she sniffs, trying to fight back the tears that are threatening to break loose. "I--" she stops and takes a deep breath. "I missed you." She's crying again, and it's so reminiscent of that day on the beach that his hearts clench at the sight. "It was three years ago today that--"
"I know," he whispers, and with tender fingers, he brushes back the hair that has fallen into her eyes, feels that pain with her. Three years ago, both their lives were changed forever, and in some ways, ended. Oh, he'd managed to go on, but the light in his life was diminished greatly by the loss of Rose.
He can only imagine it was the same for her.
No longer trying to hold back the torrent of tears, she turns to him, fisting her hands in his shirt. "And then I got back to you, but I couldn't...Jack said that--" she's swallowing thickly, biting back the words that he can see she isn't ready to share just yet. "I was so angry, Doctor, I thought...but then there you were and I was scared and I couldn't tell you why. But it didn't matter anymore because the Wraith and--and you were gone and I thought you were dead and I was never going to see you again." Huge, shuddering sobs wrack her body.
"Oh, Rose," he grasps her by the shoulders, holding her gaze with his own. "I'm sorry. I don't understand everything you've been through, but know this: I will always come back to you while I'm able. Always," he finishes with fierce determination, pulling her into his embrace. "For as long as you want me to."
Smoothing her hair with his hand, he makes shushing noises that he knows she can't hear, but make him feel better nevertheless.
If he had known...even not knowing he can't help but feel he should've done something. He could've tried to talk to her, forced her to tell him what was happening that was so horrible that she couldn't even bear to see him. Instead he'd simply closed himself off, like he always does when the threat of emotions gets too close. If he had tried though--well, it didn't mean things would've ended any differently, did it, because they still would've had to fight the Wraith, and though he knows he would've fought harder to stay by her side...
The truth of the matter is, he gave up. Once before, the thought of not having her in his life was enough to push him to the edge. And if it hadn't been for the interference of a lone Dalek, the Doctor would've died with open arms that day in New York.
An odd sort of vibration against his side rips him from those memories of so long ago and it takes him a second to figure out what it is. "Rose," he mumbles into her hair, not wanting to release her. "I think your--"
With a certain amount of reluctance, she pulls away from him and digs around in her pocket. "It's mum," she sighs, glancing at her mobile. "I should probably answer."
Breaking free of her grip on him, he stands and moves across the room. He's not willing to leave her side, not yet, not even to give her the privacy she deserves. Jackie knows Rose is safe and sound within the TARDIS, he made certain of that, but she's probably worried nonetheless. After hearing first hand what Rose has gone through, he's more than a little concerned himself.
He's not entirely convinced the hallucinations weren't being caused by an alien influence of some sort. She may not have had any direct contact with anything other than loads of paperwork over the last few months, but that doesn't mean that something hasn't affected her. The only way to be sure is to check for any sort of anomalous readings, but he hadn't seen anything unusual when he scanned her before, so that leaves him back at square one again.
"You'd think I was still two, the way she acts," Rose chuckles, rolling her eyes and pocketing her mobile again.
"She's worried about you, and rightly so." He returns to his spot on the bed next to her, draping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to bring you home for a bit. To reassure her."
She nods slightly before resting her head on his chest. "I suppose I could use a shower and change of clothes." She pauses, making no move to get up, to break contact with him. "Would you come with--"
"Oh, I'm not letting you out of my sight anytime soon, Rose Tyler."