(no subject)
db broke up with me thursday night. i had been thinking about it, as well, but now I wish I would've had the balls to do it before him. but I'm just so scared of being alone. we're just too different, was his line, over and over again. I could've loved you if you'd let me, was mine. and I could've. we don't hate each other, which is good. but it doesn't make it hurt any less. he wouldn't even look at me, or touch me. and then Sam came over to comfort me, which was good. but he wouldn't touch me, except for the perfunctory hug. that's what I love about europeans, men or women, they touch you. it's natural for them. I need human contact, especially when I'm upset. and now I'm nauseous, but it should only last for weeks this time, instead of months. i hope. so this is making studying for finals kind of a bitch, but oh well. none are comprehensive. and my mom was back this weekend and so lots of hugs there, but I need them from my friends, who, through every fault of my own, are scattered all across this fucking too huge world.