::sigh::

[molotov48]

Well, i woke up this morning and i had to go to hockey at 11:30, but when i got there, uh oh, all stick-and-shoots were cancelled this week. So i came home and sat around until 3. I went out and hung out with Zach all day. That was great cuz i haven't hung out with just him in a while. We went to the mall and did our routine hang-out shit. Then we went to canoe creek for a while. I figures we'd take a walk and talk about stuff. We sat down by the lake and just talked about shit. Something we hadn't done in a while. It's something we both really needed. Dark clouds rolled in with thunder and lightning. The clouds opened up and poured down rain. We continued to sit there for a while and then started to walk back to the car. We got to the car soaking wet, and by that time, i was no longer depressed like the way i usually get from hazy weather, but i had the strangest combination of feelings. It was like, the strongest rage, but at the same time i was enthralled with exitement. Thunder, lightning, and heavy rain do that to me. It felt so good. By the time we got to the car we were both soaked. The rain was still coming down pretty heavy, so it was only appropriate that we played Raining Blood (or reign in blood). The wierd thing was, as soon as the song ended, the rain just stopped. It was over. And over the next hour or so, i slipped back into my depressive state. It's just the weather though, nothing really happened to depress me, or even anger me...Well, except my parents being total fuckholes and my dad pretty much breaking my hand. It's been great being able to control my anger.

You know, at the beginning of this update, i was really down and depressed, but now i realize, its just the weather, there's nothing to be upset about, and if i can control my anger, then i should be able to control other natural emotions. This is probably just another step toward my big change. Mentally, I'm almost there.