WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another
- 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
__________
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds. 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing. 'You can have mine.'
__________
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
__________
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________
A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________
Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.'
__________
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say - talk in your sleep.
__________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________
'A Woman's Prayer.
Dear Lord, I pray for :-
Wisdom - to understand a man, to love and to forgive him.
Patience - for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for strength then I'll just beat him to death'
Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet.
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your toothbrush
__________
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another
- 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
__________
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds. 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing. 'You can have mine.'
__________
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
__________
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________
A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________
Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.'
__________
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say - talk in your sleep.
__________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________
First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________
'A Woman's Prayer.
Dear Lord, I pray for :-
Wisdom - to understand a man, to love and to forgive him.
Patience - for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for strength then I'll just beat him to death'
Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet.
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your toothbrush