love, again.

[mollyseed]

jackson and i went to see the last scary monster show last nite. i am sad that they're over, i like them! and i am also sad that neal is moving to california. it's kind of crazy, actually. when i met him he was seeing a girl that he'd been dating for a few years, casually. CASUALLY. FOR A FEW YEARS. how does that happen? they'd just meet up sometimes, they weren't into a heavy relationship at all, but he did call her his girlfriend. then i didn't see neal for a while and suddenly he told me he was moving to california cause he'd met some new girl and fallen in love with her and was moving to be with her! WHAT??????? how can you go from being with someone for so long, and never getting serious about it, to meeting someone else and falling so deeply in love with them that you'll give up everything you know to be with that person? i was thinking that maybe neal knows some secrets about what real love is that i sure don't. i wanna grill him on it all. it's pretty fascinating to me. like, did he know as soon as he met this new girl that he loved her in a way that he never loved the old girlfriend? and um, i don't know the details of how it all happened, but what if he was still dating the old girlfriend and he met the new one and immediately knew she was the girl for him? what would be the proper etiquette in that situation? and then i think that maybe there is someone out there that i haven't met yet that is gonna be the person i'm going to really fall in love with someday. because i've never felt like that about someone, especially not right away. so again, i'm asking myself if i've ever really been in love.

on a different note, i'm going to be printing the covers for my zine on wednesday evening. i need a helper. anyone wanna help? ill buy you a drink or something.