Fandom wank: I want some!
I've been wrestling with this decision, but it's time I confessed some things to you guys. (*deep breath*) Here goes.
I was actually the first person to write LOTR slash fiction. This was back in 2002. It seemed to catch on, so I kept it up despite my inner voice warning me that I was getting addicted. In fact, if you look at archives such as the Library of Moria, I am all the authors whose names begin with the letters A through L. The rest were either proteges of mine, or people who stole my ideas and took credit for them. But I have forgiven them, and so far three of them have withdrawn their libel or vandalism lawsuits. (Two more look like they're willing to settle out of court; and as for that assault and battery one, well, come on Miss Elfkisser, it's not like I knocked you out cold at that convention; I just tripped on your Lorien cloak and you know it.)
My fame and numerous online persona--284 at last count--started to derange me before long. As some of you know, I was making, selling, and smoking a bit too much of my own Shire pipeweed, from a secret recipe that includes dried cilantro and lawn clover. (I'm still not sharing the other ingredients! Some things must remain sacred.) Anyway, this was before the FDA shut me down, and my brain was getting kind of whacked. That's when I turned to the real-person fic and the following around of the actors. (I'm sure you'll agree that the term "stalking" is quite judgmental and unfair.)
Well, I know now that I tried to get too close, and toyed with too many of their emotions. Billy Boyd may never publicly admit it but I know I broke his heart. David Wenham still won't speak to me even though there was a time when I could make him smile just by asking for his autograph. The restraining orders from Elijah, Dom, Viggo, and Hugo probably serve me right--I was too much of a temptation and might have destroyed their other relationships (for instance, Dom's and Elijah's relationship with each other, which has been a joy to watch as it blossoms).
I know I went too far with the paternity suit against Orlando Bloom. I have withdrawn the charge and now admit that he could not have been the father of my child. In truth all he ever did was sign a poster for me. Through the mail, as a matter of fact. Also, I'm a virgin. But when you are dazzled by love, you can make yourself believe anything.
Meanwhile, in the fanfic world, I was becoming ever more vindictive to my fellow fans. Even though I was the real author of the Very Secret Diaries and it was wrong of Cassie Claire to steal them from me and claim them as her own work, it was not right of me to retaliate by making her a victim of credit card fraud. I am paying back the money, which anyway was mostly used to buy replica Arwen jewelry, which I've now sold again on Ebay. Cashing in my Air New Zealand frequent flyer miles also has helped, and lets the Kiwis rest easy knowing I won't be camping out at the Bag End site anymore.
Once again, I'm really sorry to everyone I hurt, and though I could have gotten on with my life and let this stuff all die quietly, I thought it best to revisit it in excruciating detail online.
By the way, I am also the first ten people who respond to this post. It's a bad habit and I'm trying to break it, but as with all addictions it will take time.
Please forgive me, and may Eru bless you all!
-Molly J. Ringwraith,
suoires ton yllatot
I was actually the first person to write LOTR slash fiction. This was back in 2002. It seemed to catch on, so I kept it up despite my inner voice warning me that I was getting addicted. In fact, if you look at archives such as the Library of Moria, I am all the authors whose names begin with the letters A through L. The rest were either proteges of mine, or people who stole my ideas and took credit for them. But I have forgiven them, and so far three of them have withdrawn their libel or vandalism lawsuits. (Two more look like they're willing to settle out of court; and as for that assault and battery one, well, come on Miss Elfkisser, it's not like I knocked you out cold at that convention; I just tripped on your Lorien cloak and you know it.)
My fame and numerous online persona--284 at last count--started to derange me before long. As some of you know, I was making, selling, and smoking a bit too much of my own Shire pipeweed, from a secret recipe that includes dried cilantro and lawn clover. (I'm still not sharing the other ingredients! Some things must remain sacred.) Anyway, this was before the FDA shut me down, and my brain was getting kind of whacked. That's when I turned to the real-person fic and the following around of the actors. (I'm sure you'll agree that the term "stalking" is quite judgmental and unfair.)
Well, I know now that I tried to get too close, and toyed with too many of their emotions. Billy Boyd may never publicly admit it but I know I broke his heart. David Wenham still won't speak to me even though there was a time when I could make him smile just by asking for his autograph. The restraining orders from Elijah, Dom, Viggo, and Hugo probably serve me right--I was too much of a temptation and might have destroyed their other relationships (for instance, Dom's and Elijah's relationship with each other, which has been a joy to watch as it blossoms).
I know I went too far with the paternity suit against Orlando Bloom. I have withdrawn the charge and now admit that he could not have been the father of my child. In truth all he ever did was sign a poster for me. Through the mail, as a matter of fact. Also, I'm a virgin. But when you are dazzled by love, you can make yourself believe anything.
Meanwhile, in the fanfic world, I was becoming ever more vindictive to my fellow fans. Even though I was the real author of the Very Secret Diaries and it was wrong of Cassie Claire to steal them from me and claim them as her own work, it was not right of me to retaliate by making her a victim of credit card fraud. I am paying back the money, which anyway was mostly used to buy replica Arwen jewelry, which I've now sold again on Ebay. Cashing in my Air New Zealand frequent flyer miles also has helped, and lets the Kiwis rest easy knowing I won't be camping out at the Bag End site anymore.
Once again, I'm really sorry to everyone I hurt, and though I could have gotten on with my life and let this stuff all die quietly, I thought it best to revisit it in excruciating detail online.
By the way, I am also the first ten people who respond to this post. It's a bad habit and I'm trying to break it, but as with all addictions it will take time.
Please forgive me, and may Eru bless you all!
-Molly J. Ringwraith,
suoires ton yllatot