The Monkees meet the Mirkwood Elves...
Inspired by a silly meme, and very bored indeed, I give you a tiny Monkees/LOTR crossover.
BEACH IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, 1967
DAVY JONES, walking barefoot and bare-chested along the sand, spots a blonde in a long cloak at the water's edge.
DAVY: Now, what 'ave we 'ere?...
DAVY saunters over.
DAVY: Emm, 'scuse me, miss, nice day, inn't it? I'm Davy, and if you want to come up to me and me friends' house, we've got some groovy records to--oh!
LEGOLAS has turned around to look at him.
DAVY: Uh...look, I'm sorry, I thought you were a... you know, you've got really great hair. Do you put stuff in it after you shampoo, or what?
LEGOLAS looks at him blankly.
DAVY: Right, er...so, you in a band? You look like you'd be a groovy singer.
LEGOLAS: I do sing, when I am inspired by great beauty.
DAVY: 'Ey, right on, babe, same 'ere! What's your band called? I may have heard of 'em.
LEGOLAS: I was once with the Fellowship. But now I travel alone.
DAVY: The Fellowship? Don't think I've heard of them. Sort of hippie style, are they?
LEGOLAS: I do not understand.
DAVY: It's all right, man; I'm halfway a hippie myself, y'know. I get called a long-haired weirdo every day. You must get that, right?
LEGOLAS: (idly twirls a knife in his hand) I do not tolerate ridicule.
DAVY: (fascinated by the knife) Oooh, would you look at that! You'd get on well with my friend Micky, you would--he's been in the circus, y'know. Bet he could juggle those. You throw 'em, or wha' exactly?
LEGOLAS: If necessary. (looks out at the ocean) Can you tell me if Valinor lies across these waters?
DAVY: Valinor? Emm...'aven't heard of it...course, I'm from Manchester meself...
LEGOLAS: I feel strangely drawn to the sea. It calls to me.
DAVY: Yeah, it's pretty, inn't it? Sometimes I come down 'ere, man, and just sit, and watch the waves, and write songs. You know?
LEGOLAS: Yes. Yes, the sea can inspire great songs indeed.
DAVY: Listen, do you want to take a walk? If you're not with a band now, you could join us. We could use another good-looking bloke like you, especially one we could dress up as a girl; you know, for when there's contests for mixed bands only...
LEGOLAS: Your style of dress is foreign, but I am interested to learn of you. In a strange manner you remind me of some small friends I once had.
DAVY: 'Ey, no picking on the height, now. You'll find that this slight frame hides a very great man indeed. (winks)
LEGOLAS: I believe it. The bravery of the hobbits was remarkable.
DAVY: The Hobbits, eh? 'Aven't heard of them either. What kind of music did they play?
LEGOLAS: Irreverent ballads, for the most part...
They walk off down the beach together.
BEACH IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, 1967
DAVY JONES, walking barefoot and bare-chested along the sand, spots a blonde in a long cloak at the water's edge.
DAVY: Now, what 'ave we 'ere?...
DAVY saunters over.
DAVY: Emm, 'scuse me, miss, nice day, inn't it? I'm Davy, and if you want to come up to me and me friends' house, we've got some groovy records to--oh!
LEGOLAS has turned around to look at him.
DAVY: Uh...look, I'm sorry, I thought you were a... you know, you've got really great hair. Do you put stuff in it after you shampoo, or what?
LEGOLAS looks at him blankly.
DAVY: Right, er...so, you in a band? You look like you'd be a groovy singer.
LEGOLAS: I do sing, when I am inspired by great beauty.
DAVY: 'Ey, right on, babe, same 'ere! What's your band called? I may have heard of 'em.
LEGOLAS: I was once with the Fellowship. But now I travel alone.
DAVY: The Fellowship? Don't think I've heard of them. Sort of hippie style, are they?
LEGOLAS: I do not understand.
DAVY: It's all right, man; I'm halfway a hippie myself, y'know. I get called a long-haired weirdo every day. You must get that, right?
LEGOLAS: (idly twirls a knife in his hand) I do not tolerate ridicule.
DAVY: (fascinated by the knife) Oooh, would you look at that! You'd get on well with my friend Micky, you would--he's been in the circus, y'know. Bet he could juggle those. You throw 'em, or wha' exactly?
LEGOLAS: If necessary. (looks out at the ocean) Can you tell me if Valinor lies across these waters?
DAVY: Valinor? Emm...'aven't heard of it...course, I'm from Manchester meself...
LEGOLAS: I feel strangely drawn to the sea. It calls to me.
DAVY: Yeah, it's pretty, inn't it? Sometimes I come down 'ere, man, and just sit, and watch the waves, and write songs. You know?
LEGOLAS: Yes. Yes, the sea can inspire great songs indeed.
DAVY: Listen, do you want to take a walk? If you're not with a band now, you could join us. We could use another good-looking bloke like you, especially one we could dress up as a girl; you know, for when there's contests for mixed bands only...
LEGOLAS: Your style of dress is foreign, but I am interested to learn of you. In a strange manner you remind me of some small friends I once had.
DAVY: 'Ey, no picking on the height, now. You'll find that this slight frame hides a very great man indeed. (winks)
LEGOLAS: I believe it. The bravery of the hobbits was remarkable.
DAVY: The Hobbits, eh? 'Aven't heard of them either. What kind of music did they play?
LEGOLAS: Irreverent ballads, for the most part...
They walk off down the beach together.