Sorry to disappoint you, web-searchers
Interesting things people have entered as search terms, which have landed them on my webpage:
how many arrows pierced isildur [sorry, I didn't count]
hagrid stripped ginny and molly [uh...]
naked eowyn kissing aragorn [again, sorry. Photoshop isn't my strength.]
do legolas and aragorn kiss [alas, no]
aragorn and eowyn make out naked [see above]
girl falls off refrigerator on broomstick [I have no idea. But my website isn't what you're after.]
when i was in taiwan i had a dog named gandalf [how nice for you]
frodo tortured by merry [heh. Domlijah dies hard.]
long-haired draco dirty harry licking greenhouse [Dirty Harry? Really?]
you can be my sugar daddy i will do whatever you want script [was that a movie?]
draco and harry kiss in detention in half blood prince [someone has made that happen; just not me or Rowling]
harry grabbed ginny and tongue moan hi mum [well, that's more or less canon, at least]
one day there was a nice house and a lady called molly she was 19 years old. she saw the nice house and molly said to herself i think i should get this house. she asked the man if she could have the house the man said yes it is 1500 ponds. molly said ok when should i pay it. the man said today or next week. she said ok ill pay it next week. the man said ok. molly went in the house and 3 years later molly died of canser. after she died a man named joe wanted the house there was a difrent man and the house [I KID YOU NOT. Who enters Google terms like this?]
To be fair, many of the fandom search terms were non-pervy. I just cherry-picked the good ones. :) And plenty of people were in fact searching for me and my works, so that was gratifying too.
how many arrows pierced isildur [sorry, I didn't count]
hagrid stripped ginny and molly [uh...]
naked eowyn kissing aragorn [again, sorry. Photoshop isn't my strength.]
do legolas and aragorn kiss [alas, no]
aragorn and eowyn make out naked [see above]
girl falls off refrigerator on broomstick [I have no idea. But my website isn't what you're after.]
when i was in taiwan i had a dog named gandalf [how nice for you]
frodo tortured by merry [heh. Domlijah dies hard.]
long-haired draco dirty harry licking greenhouse [Dirty Harry? Really?]
you can be my sugar daddy i will do whatever you want script [was that a movie?]
draco and harry kiss in detention in half blood prince [someone has made that happen; just not me or Rowling]
harry grabbed ginny and tongue moan hi mum [well, that's more or less canon, at least]
one day there was a nice house and a lady called molly she was 19 years old. she saw the nice house and molly said to herself i think i should get this house. she asked the man if she could have the house the man said yes it is 1500 ponds. molly said ok when should i pay it. the man said today or next week. she said ok ill pay it next week. the man said ok. molly went in the house and 3 years later molly died of canser. after she died a man named joe wanted the house there was a difrent man and the house [I KID YOU NOT. Who enters Google terms like this?]
To be fair, many of the fandom search terms were non-pervy. I just cherry-picked the good ones. :) And plenty of people were in fact searching for me and my works, so that was gratifying too.