(no subject)
I just had the most annoying weekend. My mom, sister, and mom's cousin came into town for a run and...I remembered 1. how much I love living alone and 2. how I am driven crazy by how...inane my family is. My mom is a fantastic mom, but we think so differently. I've tried to put into words what it is that really makes me irked when I spend any amount of time in close association with her and I can't, but I just find myself constantly irritated by being around her. The same holds true for her cousin, who is the world's nicest person, but just so irritating. Anyway, they crashed at my place Friday and Saturday night and I think that's what put the final nail in the coffin, so to speak. I almost NEVER have people over and I like it like that. Having three people living with me for just two nights was the worst.
I think what gets me is the lack of consideration. My mom takes my bed without even making the pretense of asking me if that's okay, they keep their shoes on when they come in, even though they KNOW I've just had my carpets cleaned, dishes are everywhere, etc.
But they left yesterday, leaving my place--which I'd been doing my best to keep clean because I'm trying to sell it--a mess. I didn't have the energy yesterday to clean up. The realtor was supposed to meet me here today and so I canceled and rescheduled for tomorrow (which, to be honest, is a huge load off because I otherwise have today completely off and I need it to just...not be around people for a while). I think having to deal with another person in my space would be torture.
And then, yesterday, we had softball and I was the BIGGEST idiot. I got moved to second base, where there is more action and...I was a fucking loon. The fumbling I did, the getting in other player's ways...the fucking throwing the ball into the fucking dugout and therefore allowing the other team a free run. God. It was fucking embarrassing. Thankfully, we won both games (because most people become more competent the longer they play...) but still. I fucking struck out at bat twice. AT ONE POINT, I hit the ball and it bounced into the pitcher's glove and, for some fucking reason, my brain thought it didn't bounce? Or something? Anyway, I ended up not running until several seconds had passed and I realized that I wasn't actually out and, by that point, both me and the person running to second were out.
So fucking embarrassing.
I really hate this sport. I really miss sports like Ultimate Frisbee....
Also, the team is fine, but I just keep thinking about how much I won't miss them when I leave. In fact, at this point, the only reason I'll keep going to the games is so that, when I finally get the fuck out of here, it'll be all the more sweeter.
I think what gets me is the lack of consideration. My mom takes my bed without even making the pretense of asking me if that's okay, they keep their shoes on when they come in, even though they KNOW I've just had my carpets cleaned, dishes are everywhere, etc.
But they left yesterday, leaving my place--which I'd been doing my best to keep clean because I'm trying to sell it--a mess. I didn't have the energy yesterday to clean up. The realtor was supposed to meet me here today and so I canceled and rescheduled for tomorrow (which, to be honest, is a huge load off because I otherwise have today completely off and I need it to just...not be around people for a while). I think having to deal with another person in my space would be torture.
And then, yesterday, we had softball and I was the BIGGEST idiot. I got moved to second base, where there is more action and...I was a fucking loon. The fumbling I did, the getting in other player's ways...the fucking throwing the ball into the fucking dugout and therefore allowing the other team a free run. God. It was fucking embarrassing. Thankfully, we won both games (because most people become more competent the longer they play...) but still. I fucking struck out at bat twice. AT ONE POINT, I hit the ball and it bounced into the pitcher's glove and, for some fucking reason, my brain thought it didn't bounce? Or something? Anyway, I ended up not running until several seconds had passed and I realized that I wasn't actually out and, by that point, both me and the person running to second were out.
So fucking embarrassing.
I really hate this sport. I really miss sports like Ultimate Frisbee....
Also, the team is fine, but I just keep thinking about how much I won't miss them when I leave. In fact, at this point, the only reason I'll keep going to the games is so that, when I finally get the fuck out of here, it'll be all the more sweeter.