(no subject)
ive been running on fun dip and carlorose for the past two days, without medication, ive been a crying mess filled with regrets and "im sorries" for all the people i will think about when im gone. tomorow my mother and i go through everything i own and get decide what i can take with me. i feel as if all of a sudden im leaving on a bad note. being pouty and miserable, then being pouty and miserable and sorry because i was being pouty and miserable. bleargh my stomach needs food. actually, i have eaten, technically, i ate two slices of pizza, two breakfast subs, a half a tuna sub and three slurpees over the past two days.
i broke my ring last night i have the saphire separate from the ring, in a little envelope, my father told me i'd have to get it fixed in red deer. i dont have that kind of money. everytime anyhting is mentioned to me, an idea, a trip, an adventure, my mind immediatly goes into scrooge mode and i think about howm uch that's going to cost me, wise thinking i guess, considering the people that were supposed to call me about getting a job haven't actually called me back to let me know which hotel I'll be working in. i definitley thought i had a job.hmh... well, i've got over $2000 banked and my brother told me i could live with him for a while, amys got a job and convergys that pays $10/hour and is constantly hiring. could i deal with interupting peoples dinner all afternoon? why not? i think i wouldnt mind getting paid for being a bad person.rent. groceries. taxes.bills. my stomach hates me too much to worry about these things.
i was supposed to go home this morning. last night was terrible, i got called a "dirty" by a soupie, go team town, then bryan said i looked like a welfare mom coming to pick up her check.bleah where is my father to take me home
hurrah lucky called from his paretns house, hes going to drive me home. i may fall asleep int the car.
i change my last wish, or hte second one, whatever, i wish i could type.
i broke my ring last night i have the saphire separate from the ring, in a little envelope, my father told me i'd have to get it fixed in red deer. i dont have that kind of money. everytime anyhting is mentioned to me, an idea, a trip, an adventure, my mind immediatly goes into scrooge mode and i think about howm uch that's going to cost me, wise thinking i guess, considering the people that were supposed to call me about getting a job haven't actually called me back to let me know which hotel I'll be working in. i definitley thought i had a job.hmh... well, i've got over $2000 banked and my brother told me i could live with him for a while, amys got a job and convergys that pays $10/hour and is constantly hiring. could i deal with interupting peoples dinner all afternoon? why not? i think i wouldnt mind getting paid for being a bad person.rent. groceries. taxes.bills. my stomach hates me too much to worry about these things.
i was supposed to go home this morning. last night was terrible, i got called a "dirty" by a soupie, go team town, then bryan said i looked like a welfare mom coming to pick up her check.bleah where is my father to take me home
hurrah lucky called from his paretns house, hes going to drive me home. i may fall asleep int the car.
i change my last wish, or hte second one, whatever, i wish i could type.