The End (or Beginning) to the Prejudiced Immigrant Poem Saga
After my cousin sent an email to me saying she thought it was tasteless to send out my response to her whole list about a joke that was "simply" about “ILLEGALS” (see the previous entry for the pome), I finally responded this afternoon:
Dear B
You and I come from very different cultural backgrounds because of where we grew up. As a child, I played and went to church with children who I saw as children, friends, not a label created by a man-made government.
Many of those kids crossed the bridge every morning to come to our school. Of course, our school wasn't public. I never saw them as anything other than people. We played, we fought, we made up, and we learned from each other.
In fact, to really tell you something about myself, when I was about 7 or 8, Mimmy (our mutual, maternal grandmother) was visiting for the summer. There was a knock on the door, nd Mim answered it. It was 2 Mexican children who spoke hardly any English, a boy and a girl. They were dirty and dressed in rags, basically. She invited them in. Then she proceeded to bring them to the backyard where we were playing. They played with us, and we all communicated the way children do. About an hour later, Mim served all of us grilled cheese and tomato soup at our picnic table in the backyard.
After that, a police officer she had called came to pick up the children. I remember her telling him, "Now, don't you dare be mean to these children. I want you to take them home, but don't you dare be mean, young man." The children hugged her goodbye. They were about my age then. I don't completely recall, but I think she also gave them some of our clothes (which means they were you alls' because we wore lots of your hand-me-downs back then) and some food to take with them.
I was impressed about how she took on a big, burly, and yes, Hispanic police officer. He said he would make sure they were safe. I don't know what happened to them. But I do know that we all started crying and whining about her sending them back to Mexico (you see, even then, more than 30 years ago, we understood what that meant), and she told us that she wouldn't have done it if they hadn't been children, but that she didn't want to see them on the streets. She then told us that we should always, always treat those in need with charity and kindness because you never knew when that would be Jesus there in front of you in need.
Many years later, I happened to have a need. I had a very active four year old and a beyond active, but sick, one year old. I, also, had hand surgery on both hands. I needed help keeping my house clean. I told a co-worker, and she recommended Leti to me. Leti came every Saturday for 6 months and cleaned our house more spotless than I had ever done so. She did more than I asked or paid her to do. The week we moved, she came with her van (risking deportation) and helped us move. I paid her 25.00 per cleaning. That's all. Can you imagine trying to buy food for your three kids on that, B? She had other cleaning jobs, but I think her total take was 100.00/week because she couldn't come over early, and she couldn't stay late because she had three kids to care for. She spoke to us in broken English. We spoke to her in broken Spanish. She brought her kids with her each Saturday when the American husband she had abandoned her. In Mexico, he could simply file for divorce, and that was it. No child support, no nothing. All the kids and she are Mexican citizens and live in Juarez.
One Saturday, after talking to a student of mine who entered the US "illegally" years before, and who now has a master's degree after only 6 years of grade school education in Mexico, Leti and I talked about her options to help her. I gave her Vicki's number. Vicki put her in contact with a grant program funded by the US Department of Education (yes, with tax dollars I am so glad I gave) at El Paso Community College that allowed Leti to take courses in English, math, and computer usage.
Never once was she required to provide paperwork certifying anything about herself. She, with the help of her sister, who babysat at night, went to school. With the skills she learned, she was able to get a job in a maquiladora in Juarez that allowed her to support her children and herself. She quit being a maid.
Sometime after she started working for us, she came to us to tell us her sister had had a baby boy. Of course, we gave her all of Ean's baby clothes that he had outgrown. But, this baby had a problem. He had a cleft palate that was so bad, he could hardly breathe. She wanted to know if we had any doctors who could help in our family. Of course, we don't. But, because I had to use Thomason County hospital in the past when I couldn't afford insurance, I knew they could go there. So, I referred her there. Armed with the information, they needed, they got the baby the care he needed; they didn't pay anything. They couldn't. If I could have paid the bill, I happily would have, but I did. I paid my taxes, and that really drove home the idea that we can do for the least of our brothers, face-to-face and through our government.
Leti still comes to see us from time-to-time with gifts for Eryn and Ean and the family who cared. What she doesn't truly realize is the gift she gave us: faith in others.
Let me add one more thing. Proposition 187, in CA, and 200 now in AZ horrified me, once again, because it struck that chord in a most awful way. I actually petitioned against it (how can someone want to deny a child an education? Health care? Food? I can't, not in good conscience.)
Also, B, I think, I hope, that your copy of the first email sent to JJ (my nephew) bounced. Because I know my reply to him did. He is Jewish. He comes from the most ethnically-abused background I know of; I have seen him refuse to allow the senior boys make him look like a skinhead in an introduction to the basketball team because he strongly is against any representation of prejudice.
I can't apologize for sending my response to your whole list, B, because I really wanted them to know that I can't support a point of view that makes fun of people for who they are or where they come from; in El Paso that is known as prejudice. They aren't animals to be labeled. Their attempts at our language amaze me (whether they be Mexican or Pakistani). Their attempts to come to the most prosperous Christian country in the world humble me. What if I were in their shoes? What if I wanted to escape a country where a woman can be stoned to death for simply looking at a man who is not her relative? What if I wanted to escape a city (Juarez) where more than 400 girls and women have been ritually raped and murdered over the last 10 years? What if I wanted to escape a country where the school teachers make an amount of money with the equivalent of 2.00 US dollars per month (Iraq)? What if I wanted to escape a country where a man can be gunned down for being in the streets at the wrong time? How could I possibly judge them for wanting what I have? I grew up knowing that I must be humbly thankful for what I have and share it as best I could and as often as I could. I extended that belief from my personal life to my political ideology. I believe in welfare. That doesn't mean I am blind to the abuses of it; nor am I blind to the abuses of those who are to distribute it and misuse it as well.
I can apologize for the tone I took in the email, and I do; I could have stated my objection differently, but this one email, more than all you have ever forwarded to me (and I must tell you the act of forwarding something is the act of endorsing it as if you had written it) struck the chord that Mim struck so many years ago, and I couldn't believe you sent that to me or anyone else for that matter.
I love you and your family.I want to hear about them. I am about to be a grandmother. I want to exchange pictures of our grandkids. I want to hear that A is safe and where he is. I want to know that motherhood is agreeing with G. I want to know how D is doing in college. I want to know how you and M are doing as your family grows.
I hope that we can leave this behind us.
Love,
Jayne
If you want me to send this to the entire list, I will.
Her Reply this Afternoon:
Dear Jayne,
While reading your beautiful letter I couldn't seem to stop the tears. I realized that I must have a hard heart, and that (even though I claim NOT to be prejudice) I really must be. I want to thank you for taking the time to explain something that I did NOT understand, and I HUMBLY apologize to you and your family for sending that email. If I had experienced just one of the situations you had, maybe I would have been kinder in my thinking, and more thoughtful of what emails I chose to send on. It wasn't because of the way I was raised, because I know my parents are following the path God has chosen for them, and I cannot see them finding this funny either. It was simply thoughtless of me. I hope you and your family, and all of my wonderful cousins can find it in their hearts to forgive my stupidity.
Your story of Mimmi brought back to me all the many times she was an example of the good choices we could make in life. She had a way of making that seem so easy, and she always had a smile! She use to tell me my eyes sparkled like the stars, and she asked me to be the peacemaker when there was a problem. Instead, I have caused the problem, and I am ashamed. When she visited you in Texas I couldn't wait for her return because she always made us feel so special, and we knew she loved us. She took love much further than most do, she loved with God's love, and that is the legacy she shared in all of our families. That is the bond that she pulled us all together with. That is the love we were so blessed to have. I have called my mom so many times for her wisdom, and knew she would know the right thing to say or do, I hope someday my kids will look to me for that wisdom. Forgive me for not loving with God's love, thank you for reminding me that is what I SHOULD be doing. I have looked through a very narrow tunnel in the past, and I know God must have used you to make me see clearer. I love all of you very much!!
Yes, we may have different political views, but when it comes to caring for others, you were way ahead of me... I have some catching up to do there!! :) I had asked D (her 18 year old son) to read the email, and he said, "I told you you were prejudice!" Wow, in my heart I didn't believe that to be true, but I know I can do something about it now.
Love Always, Your Cousin and Friend,
B
PS I am also sending this to N (my note: my sister). She, too, sent me a beautiful letter explaining why the email was offensive. I was at work and didn't have a chance to respond yet. I feel like I owe everyone in your family an apology so send it on to them if you would.
My Response to her:
Dearest B:
I read this about 10 minutes ago, and I think I have stopped crying long enough to reply to you.
If I could send you a huge hug over the Internet I would.
I called my Mom and J (my other sister who received the email, too) to read this response to them. I had to stop several times. Mom said to tell you to always remember how much Aunt B loves you. J said the same (although, she did say not to call her Aunt B--LOL).
I am humbled at your response, and I know that Mim and God's love live in you.
I love you and your family very, very much,
Jayne
PS. I just read this to N because I remembered that her home computer is on the fritz. She said to tell you she will write you back, and that she loves you so very, very, much.
Dear B
You and I come from very different cultural backgrounds because of where we grew up. As a child, I played and went to church with children who I saw as children, friends, not a label created by a man-made government.
Many of those kids crossed the bridge every morning to come to our school. Of course, our school wasn't public. I never saw them as anything other than people. We played, we fought, we made up, and we learned from each other.
In fact, to really tell you something about myself, when I was about 7 or 8, Mimmy (our mutual, maternal grandmother) was visiting for the summer. There was a knock on the door, nd Mim answered it. It was 2 Mexican children who spoke hardly any English, a boy and a girl. They were dirty and dressed in rags, basically. She invited them in. Then she proceeded to bring them to the backyard where we were playing. They played with us, and we all communicated the way children do. About an hour later, Mim served all of us grilled cheese and tomato soup at our picnic table in the backyard.
After that, a police officer she had called came to pick up the children. I remember her telling him, "Now, don't you dare be mean to these children. I want you to take them home, but don't you dare be mean, young man." The children hugged her goodbye. They were about my age then. I don't completely recall, but I think she also gave them some of our clothes (which means they were you alls' because we wore lots of your hand-me-downs back then) and some food to take with them.
I was impressed about how she took on a big, burly, and yes, Hispanic police officer. He said he would make sure they were safe. I don't know what happened to them. But I do know that we all started crying and whining about her sending them back to Mexico (you see, even then, more than 30 years ago, we understood what that meant), and she told us that she wouldn't have done it if they hadn't been children, but that she didn't want to see them on the streets. She then told us that we should always, always treat those in need with charity and kindness because you never knew when that would be Jesus there in front of you in need.
Many years later, I happened to have a need. I had a very active four year old and a beyond active, but sick, one year old. I, also, had hand surgery on both hands. I needed help keeping my house clean. I told a co-worker, and she recommended Leti to me. Leti came every Saturday for 6 months and cleaned our house more spotless than I had ever done so. She did more than I asked or paid her to do. The week we moved, she came with her van (risking deportation) and helped us move. I paid her 25.00 per cleaning. That's all. Can you imagine trying to buy food for your three kids on that, B? She had other cleaning jobs, but I think her total take was 100.00/week because she couldn't come over early, and she couldn't stay late because she had three kids to care for. She spoke to us in broken English. We spoke to her in broken Spanish. She brought her kids with her each Saturday when the American husband she had abandoned her. In Mexico, he could simply file for divorce, and that was it. No child support, no nothing. All the kids and she are Mexican citizens and live in Juarez.
One Saturday, after talking to a student of mine who entered the US "illegally" years before, and who now has a master's degree after only 6 years of grade school education in Mexico, Leti and I talked about her options to help her. I gave her Vicki's number. Vicki put her in contact with a grant program funded by the US Department of Education (yes, with tax dollars I am so glad I gave) at El Paso Community College that allowed Leti to take courses in English, math, and computer usage.
Never once was she required to provide paperwork certifying anything about herself. She, with the help of her sister, who babysat at night, went to school. With the skills she learned, she was able to get a job in a maquiladora in Juarez that allowed her to support her children and herself. She quit being a maid.
Sometime after she started working for us, she came to us to tell us her sister had had a baby boy. Of course, we gave her all of Ean's baby clothes that he had outgrown. But, this baby had a problem. He had a cleft palate that was so bad, he could hardly breathe. She wanted to know if we had any doctors who could help in our family. Of course, we don't. But, because I had to use Thomason County hospital in the past when I couldn't afford insurance, I knew they could go there. So, I referred her there. Armed with the information, they needed, they got the baby the care he needed; they didn't pay anything. They couldn't. If I could have paid the bill, I happily would have, but I did. I paid my taxes, and that really drove home the idea that we can do for the least of our brothers, face-to-face and through our government.
Leti still comes to see us from time-to-time with gifts for Eryn and Ean and the family who cared. What she doesn't truly realize is the gift she gave us: faith in others.
Let me add one more thing. Proposition 187, in CA, and 200 now in AZ horrified me, once again, because it struck that chord in a most awful way. I actually petitioned against it (how can someone want to deny a child an education? Health care? Food? I can't, not in good conscience.)
Also, B, I think, I hope, that your copy of the first email sent to JJ (my nephew) bounced. Because I know my reply to him did. He is Jewish. He comes from the most ethnically-abused background I know of; I have seen him refuse to allow the senior boys make him look like a skinhead in an introduction to the basketball team because he strongly is against any representation of prejudice.
I can't apologize for sending my response to your whole list, B, because I really wanted them to know that I can't support a point of view that makes fun of people for who they are or where they come from; in El Paso that is known as prejudice. They aren't animals to be labeled. Their attempts at our language amaze me (whether they be Mexican or Pakistani). Their attempts to come to the most prosperous Christian country in the world humble me. What if I were in their shoes? What if I wanted to escape a country where a woman can be stoned to death for simply looking at a man who is not her relative? What if I wanted to escape a city (Juarez) where more than 400 girls and women have been ritually raped and murdered over the last 10 years? What if I wanted to escape a country where the school teachers make an amount of money with the equivalent of 2.00 US dollars per month (Iraq)? What if I wanted to escape a country where a man can be gunned down for being in the streets at the wrong time? How could I possibly judge them for wanting what I have? I grew up knowing that I must be humbly thankful for what I have and share it as best I could and as often as I could. I extended that belief from my personal life to my political ideology. I believe in welfare. That doesn't mean I am blind to the abuses of it; nor am I blind to the abuses of those who are to distribute it and misuse it as well.
I can apologize for the tone I took in the email, and I do; I could have stated my objection differently, but this one email, more than all you have ever forwarded to me (and I must tell you the act of forwarding something is the act of endorsing it as if you had written it) struck the chord that Mim struck so many years ago, and I couldn't believe you sent that to me or anyone else for that matter.
I love you and your family.I want to hear about them. I am about to be a grandmother. I want to exchange pictures of our grandkids. I want to hear that A is safe and where he is. I want to know that motherhood is agreeing with G. I want to know how D is doing in college. I want to know how you and M are doing as your family grows.
I hope that we can leave this behind us.
Love,
Jayne
If you want me to send this to the entire list, I will.
Her Reply this Afternoon:
Dear Jayne,
While reading your beautiful letter I couldn't seem to stop the tears. I realized that I must have a hard heart, and that (even though I claim NOT to be prejudice) I really must be. I want to thank you for taking the time to explain something that I did NOT understand, and I HUMBLY apologize to you and your family for sending that email. If I had experienced just one of the situations you had, maybe I would have been kinder in my thinking, and more thoughtful of what emails I chose to send on. It wasn't because of the way I was raised, because I know my parents are following the path God has chosen for them, and I cannot see them finding this funny either. It was simply thoughtless of me. I hope you and your family, and all of my wonderful cousins can find it in their hearts to forgive my stupidity.
Your story of Mimmi brought back to me all the many times she was an example of the good choices we could make in life. She had a way of making that seem so easy, and she always had a smile! She use to tell me my eyes sparkled like the stars, and she asked me to be the peacemaker when there was a problem. Instead, I have caused the problem, and I am ashamed. When she visited you in Texas I couldn't wait for her return because she always made us feel so special, and we knew she loved us. She took love much further than most do, she loved with God's love, and that is the legacy she shared in all of our families. That is the bond that she pulled us all together with. That is the love we were so blessed to have. I have called my mom so many times for her wisdom, and knew she would know the right thing to say or do, I hope someday my kids will look to me for that wisdom. Forgive me for not loving with God's love, thank you for reminding me that is what I SHOULD be doing. I have looked through a very narrow tunnel in the past, and I know God must have used you to make me see clearer. I love all of you very much!!
Yes, we may have different political views, but when it comes to caring for others, you were way ahead of me... I have some catching up to do there!! :) I had asked D (her 18 year old son) to read the email, and he said, "I told you you were prejudice!" Wow, in my heart I didn't believe that to be true, but I know I can do something about it now.
Love Always, Your Cousin and Friend,
B
PS I am also sending this to N (my note: my sister). She, too, sent me a beautiful letter explaining why the email was offensive. I was at work and didn't have a chance to respond yet. I feel like I owe everyone in your family an apology so send it on to them if you would.
My Response to her:
Dearest B:
I read this about 10 minutes ago, and I think I have stopped crying long enough to reply to you.
If I could send you a huge hug over the Internet I would.
I called my Mom and J (my other sister who received the email, too) to read this response to them. I had to stop several times. Mom said to tell you to always remember how much Aunt B loves you. J said the same (although, she did say not to call her Aunt B--LOL).
I am humbled at your response, and I know that Mim and God's love live in you.
I love you and your family very, very much,
Jayne
PS. I just read this to N because I remembered that her home computer is on the fritz. She said to tell you she will write you back, and that she loves you so very, very, much.