(no subject)
dad.
i'm writing to you because i know that your listening. and i know that your always watching me.
i love you more than words can ever explain. i always meant to say that to you, but i know you know i felt that way. your my most favorite person in the world. i can talk to you about anything, and i wanna thank you so much for being my dad for 15 years, im one of the luckiest people i know..
christmas was ok.
this morning was really sad.
we woke up at 7:30 and not 4 like usual. and we were all kind of sad to start with
then when i walked in there and i saw your stocking full and things that remind us of you everywhere, i couldnt even try to hold it back.
mom got us all necklaces that have your birthstone on it and its the prettiest thing ever.
then i just kind of.. let go of trying to be happy for once.
i mean what am i supposed to do? ive never missed someone so much before. and i never thought anything like this could happen.
November 16th. you werent home at 5 like you were supposed to be. so i kept calling your phone but it was off and i couldnt even wonder why because it was so unlike you. around 6:30 i got so worried i called mom to ask where you were and she said you were flying. then about 10 o clock i started freaking out.
i couldnt even stop to think what could have happened because your my dad. your my idol, my best friend, my perfect source for everything, my office max pal, my daddy.
i remember waking up in the middle of the night after i couldnt fall asleep for 3 hours, paul called from the fire department and i listened to the conversation him and laura had, and i was sure something was wrong cause i felt like i was going to barf out my brains and laura was here. then i heard them say something about the plane being off the chart. that was so unlike you.
i called ben at like 1 or 3 in the morning i cant even remember, cause he told me to no matter what time it was, so i told him everything about how the airforce was out looking for you.
then i woke up and went into the livingroom and laura and mom were cleaning like psychos so i knew something was definetly wrong. then mom had me put towels away and she told me they were looking for you.
then it was on the news.
me and drew made up this story about how you were in the woods eating all the elk and just relaxing with some diet pepsis like always, with one foot on the other knee. ahah i love that so much.
courtney ramie nancy kathy levin, the paxtons all came over. this was during school so it was obvious something serious happened. i was just kind of quiet. i didnt really know what to think about. i was freaking out, but i dunno, it was really really weird.
so then i was sitting in my room with courtney and ramie talking about a bunch of different weird stuff. then i heard my mom kind of scream
i sprinted to the livingroom
then thats when i saw the wreckage on tv. i heard the helicopter guys talking and then it came when mom said
"There are no survivors"
and she wasnt calm at all, she was, i dont even know what she was..
I screamed no, and so did becca and drew and we hugged mom for like 5 minutes just staring at the TV saying Oh My God over and over and over, with tears streaming and thoughts rushing through.
i asked mom if it was real like 87 times, and she was really scared to say it but she said yeah. that feeling.. it was hot and dark and it was like when you run in the cold and your eyes sting like crazy.
i didnt think it could be real.
i still dont..
i miss you so incredibly much daddy.
me becca mom drew and alex just held eachother on the couch sobbing while courtney ramie nancy and the paxtons gave us tissues and didnt really know what else to do but watch.. i couldnt even .. holy moley
then i took a shower and got some crappy clothes on and went to the highschool because i couldnt stand the house like that.. and i went there to tell all of my teachers i wouldnt b there for a while but they all already knew and they hugged me like crazy, so the day was filled with sitting in silent rooms with my soccer team and a whole bunch of other people and then we all went to get ice cream and i thought i was ok. then i came home and just kind of cried in bens arms for i dont know how long.
thats so hard. sooooooooo freakin hard.
thanksgiving was hard with out you.
everything is.
but i wrote a poem and had to read it to the class.
Theres a hole in my heart and a pit in my stomach.
I wonder if it will ever go away, and I wonder if I will ever be okay.
The house is warm but empty,
and the weight on everyones shoulders is heavy.
i've been without you for 16 days,
I still cant believe youve gone away.
I lost my best friend,my dad, and my idol
You left doing what you love, but i still cant live without your smile.
All i can do is ask God why, and know your watching me from way up high.
Half of my heart is still at the bottom of my stomach from shock,
And i can only imagine if its hit me yet or not.
I will always love you more than words can explain,
and just for you we're going to win the state game.
I'll see you again,in my dreams and in the end,
and when i do I want a hug
for going on in this world without my best friend.
i love you! ill write you again later. i miss you.
love molly.
i'm writing to you because i know that your listening. and i know that your always watching me.
i love you more than words can ever explain. i always meant to say that to you, but i know you know i felt that way. your my most favorite person in the world. i can talk to you about anything, and i wanna thank you so much for being my dad for 15 years, im one of the luckiest people i know..
christmas was ok.
this morning was really sad.
we woke up at 7:30 and not 4 like usual. and we were all kind of sad to start with
then when i walked in there and i saw your stocking full and things that remind us of you everywhere, i couldnt even try to hold it back.
mom got us all necklaces that have your birthstone on it and its the prettiest thing ever.
then i just kind of.. let go of trying to be happy for once.
i mean what am i supposed to do? ive never missed someone so much before. and i never thought anything like this could happen.
November 16th. you werent home at 5 like you were supposed to be. so i kept calling your phone but it was off and i couldnt even wonder why because it was so unlike you. around 6:30 i got so worried i called mom to ask where you were and she said you were flying. then about 10 o clock i started freaking out.
i couldnt even stop to think what could have happened because your my dad. your my idol, my best friend, my perfect source for everything, my office max pal, my daddy.
i remember waking up in the middle of the night after i couldnt fall asleep for 3 hours, paul called from the fire department and i listened to the conversation him and laura had, and i was sure something was wrong cause i felt like i was going to barf out my brains and laura was here. then i heard them say something about the plane being off the chart. that was so unlike you.
i called ben at like 1 or 3 in the morning i cant even remember, cause he told me to no matter what time it was, so i told him everything about how the airforce was out looking for you.
then i woke up and went into the livingroom and laura and mom were cleaning like psychos so i knew something was definetly wrong. then mom had me put towels away and she told me they were looking for you.
then it was on the news.
me and drew made up this story about how you were in the woods eating all the elk and just relaxing with some diet pepsis like always, with one foot on the other knee. ahah i love that so much.
courtney ramie nancy kathy levin, the paxtons all came over. this was during school so it was obvious something serious happened. i was just kind of quiet. i didnt really know what to think about. i was freaking out, but i dunno, it was really really weird.
so then i was sitting in my room with courtney and ramie talking about a bunch of different weird stuff. then i heard my mom kind of scream
i sprinted to the livingroom
then thats when i saw the wreckage on tv. i heard the helicopter guys talking and then it came when mom said
"There are no survivors"
and she wasnt calm at all, she was, i dont even know what she was..
I screamed no, and so did becca and drew and we hugged mom for like 5 minutes just staring at the TV saying Oh My God over and over and over, with tears streaming and thoughts rushing through.
i asked mom if it was real like 87 times, and she was really scared to say it but she said yeah. that feeling.. it was hot and dark and it was like when you run in the cold and your eyes sting like crazy.
i didnt think it could be real.
i still dont..
i miss you so incredibly much daddy.
me becca mom drew and alex just held eachother on the couch sobbing while courtney ramie nancy and the paxtons gave us tissues and didnt really know what else to do but watch.. i couldnt even .. holy moley
then i took a shower and got some crappy clothes on and went to the highschool because i couldnt stand the house like that.. and i went there to tell all of my teachers i wouldnt b there for a while but they all already knew and they hugged me like crazy, so the day was filled with sitting in silent rooms with my soccer team and a whole bunch of other people and then we all went to get ice cream and i thought i was ok. then i came home and just kind of cried in bens arms for i dont know how long.
thats so hard. sooooooooo freakin hard.
thanksgiving was hard with out you.
everything is.
but i wrote a poem and had to read it to the class.
Theres a hole in my heart and a pit in my stomach.
I wonder if it will ever go away, and I wonder if I will ever be okay.
The house is warm but empty,
and the weight on everyones shoulders is heavy.
i've been without you for 16 days,
I still cant believe youve gone away.
I lost my best friend,my dad, and my idol
You left doing what you love, but i still cant live without your smile.
All i can do is ask God why, and know your watching me from way up high.
Half of my heart is still at the bottom of my stomach from shock,
And i can only imagine if its hit me yet or not.
I will always love you more than words can explain,
and just for you we're going to win the state game.
I'll see you again,in my dreams and in the end,
and when i do I want a hug
for going on in this world without my best friend.
i love you! ill write you again later. i miss you.
love molly.