It's Spring Break...
It's truly wonderful to sit here in my bed at 10:35am on a Monday and have the time to finally post an update to my Live Journal...it has definitely been awhile, and I guess you could say that a lot has happened.
New Year's brought an epiphany to me...not sure if it was the alcohol that night or the time to think about what needs changing in your life, but I realized that all the casual dating was boring me. I was meeting several guys a week, getting my hopes up every time, and eventually being let down because the reality of the person was nothing I was looking for (most of my dates I meet online). I've spent 2007 much calmer on this front...been out to do some karaoke with some new friends, but mainly spending my time alone at home. Don't get me wrong...there were a few guys...
Adam - Great guy! He lives about 2 hours away and came to spend a weekend with me in January. We had a great time, got along well...but then nothing. Since then, he's found a wonderful girl he thinks is "the one" and I wish him the best of luck. But, for him and I, it was just another good weekend in my books.
Brian - Another terrific guy! I went up to San Jose to meet him for a weekend in early February. We had a fantastic time, got along well...but it's fizzled out because we live four hours away from each other. Added to that the fact that he doesn't drive...yeah. Brian and I had a real chance at something until distance got in the way.
Frank - He may be one of the reasons I don't care much about meeting new people. Frank and I have been talking since last August and have built up quite an online connection. He lives about an hour away and we've been on one date (January). However, we text a lot, chat online a lot, and I stop into his pizza place with my students about twice a month (we travel through his town often for FFA activities). He likes me, I like him, but he's scared of being hurt if he lets go and embraces the feelings we share. It's very frustrating when you like someone so much who won't give you the chance at a happy relationship because of his own fears. No matter what new guy I've met, Frank always dominates my mind and heart...and I find it impossible to let go of him despite the constant rejection I get. In time he'll come around, right? Because other than his insecurities...he's everything I'd ever want.
Rob - I just met Rob a little over a week ago. He lives here in town, we've seen each other every day since we met...NEAT guy. We have a lot of fun together...miniature golfing, walks through the parks of Bakersfield, Scottish Highland games, dinner, lunch, grocery shopping, getting my car washed, etc. We've had a great time just doing the small stuff, and he makes me laugh and smile. So what's my hold up? Why am I holding back with him? I told him I was emotionally unavailable...even though Rob is a fantastic guy. Maybe it's because my heart won't let me give up on Frank...
So, yeah...that's the extent of my dating life in 2007. It may seem a little hectic, but it's REALLY tame compared to the dating life of 2006 following my divorce. I had my crazy time, but I'm back to reality. All I want in life is someone really great who makes me smile, makes me laugh, loves the hell out of me, and someone I can enjoy. The only person who pops into my head every time I think "great boyfriend" is Frank. I just hope he gives us that chance someday. Or am I a fool for even waiting around?
Other than that, I've been focusing on work. Someone made a comment to me about a week ago telling me that I'm married to my job. It's been true - I've worked 60-80 hour weeks for the most part and, until spring break started this weekend, I couldn't remember the last time I had a day off to myself. But, it's been good. My students are accomplishing more in the FFA than I ever thought possible, I'm adding new things to my curriculum and having fun getting back to the reasons why I became a teacher in the first place.
I also had a roommate move in about two weeks ago...I've been having some serious financial problems and the extra $500 a month he's paying is starting to let me see the light again. He's a friend of mine and works an opposite schedule than I do...so we pretty much stay out of each others' way and co-exist in my two bedroom apartment.
And that's pretty much my update! Who's got advice for me?
New Year's brought an epiphany to me...not sure if it was the alcohol that night or the time to think about what needs changing in your life, but I realized that all the casual dating was boring me. I was meeting several guys a week, getting my hopes up every time, and eventually being let down because the reality of the person was nothing I was looking for (most of my dates I meet online). I've spent 2007 much calmer on this front...been out to do some karaoke with some new friends, but mainly spending my time alone at home. Don't get me wrong...there were a few guys...
Adam - Great guy! He lives about 2 hours away and came to spend a weekend with me in January. We had a great time, got along well...but then nothing. Since then, he's found a wonderful girl he thinks is "the one" and I wish him the best of luck. But, for him and I, it was just another good weekend in my books.
Brian - Another terrific guy! I went up to San Jose to meet him for a weekend in early February. We had a fantastic time, got along well...but it's fizzled out because we live four hours away from each other. Added to that the fact that he doesn't drive...yeah. Brian and I had a real chance at something until distance got in the way.
Frank - He may be one of the reasons I don't care much about meeting new people. Frank and I have been talking since last August and have built up quite an online connection. He lives about an hour away and we've been on one date (January). However, we text a lot, chat online a lot, and I stop into his pizza place with my students about twice a month (we travel through his town often for FFA activities). He likes me, I like him, but he's scared of being hurt if he lets go and embraces the feelings we share. It's very frustrating when you like someone so much who won't give you the chance at a happy relationship because of his own fears. No matter what new guy I've met, Frank always dominates my mind and heart...and I find it impossible to let go of him despite the constant rejection I get. In time he'll come around, right? Because other than his insecurities...he's everything I'd ever want.
Rob - I just met Rob a little over a week ago. He lives here in town, we've seen each other every day since we met...NEAT guy. We have a lot of fun together...miniature golfing, walks through the parks of Bakersfield, Scottish Highland games, dinner, lunch, grocery shopping, getting my car washed, etc. We've had a great time just doing the small stuff, and he makes me laugh and smile. So what's my hold up? Why am I holding back with him? I told him I was emotionally unavailable...even though Rob is a fantastic guy. Maybe it's because my heart won't let me give up on Frank...
So, yeah...that's the extent of my dating life in 2007. It may seem a little hectic, but it's REALLY tame compared to the dating life of 2006 following my divorce. I had my crazy time, but I'm back to reality. All I want in life is someone really great who makes me smile, makes me laugh, loves the hell out of me, and someone I can enjoy. The only person who pops into my head every time I think "great boyfriend" is Frank. I just hope he gives us that chance someday. Or am I a fool for even waiting around?
Other than that, I've been focusing on work. Someone made a comment to me about a week ago telling me that I'm married to my job. It's been true - I've worked 60-80 hour weeks for the most part and, until spring break started this weekend, I couldn't remember the last time I had a day off to myself. But, it's been good. My students are accomplishing more in the FFA than I ever thought possible, I'm adding new things to my curriculum and having fun getting back to the reasons why I became a teacher in the first place.
I also had a roommate move in about two weeks ago...I've been having some serious financial problems and the extra $500 a month he's paying is starting to let me see the light again. He's a friend of mine and works an opposite schedule than I do...so we pretty much stay out of each others' way and co-exist in my two bedroom apartment.
And that's pretty much my update! Who's got advice for me?