What a Monday...
Today was a weird day full of emotions. I took 20 students to a leadership conference in town and had an oddly "out of body" experience ignoring everyone, listening to my MP3 player and grading papers. I'm usually the social butterfly with other ag teachers, but I just wasn't in the mood today...call it moody Monday.
Then, a fellow ag teacher (one of my best friends) received a voice mail saying that one of her good friends had been killed in Iraq. I immediately took her permission slip for the kid she had at the conference and sent her home...makes me really thankful my sister came home in one piece last week after her year in Iraq serving in the Army.
Then, I spent the afternoon/evening exhausted, but graded papers and headed to school to enter all the grades into my computer. I got instantly depressed with how low the grades are that my students have - and by the fact that I really just wanted to nap but have so much to do.
Then, I had a somewhat sad conversation with someone I had been really close to this summer - him and I have grown WAY distant since our time this summer, and I think I was almost in tears when we hung up because I really do miss him and the close friendship we had. The conversation was filled with the stress of our ag teaching jobs and how much we await this month to be over so life can return to a somewhat normal state. But, I can't really describe it...I was even more depressed after we got off the phone...probably just a long day.
And then I settled in to watch some shows I'd recorded on the DVR and thought about calling the guy I went out with Saturday night...he had told me he enjoyed our date, but I hadn't really felt good about how he really felt...can't explain that either. But, as I pondered calling him, my phone rang with his number...we have ESPN or something ;). So I told him about my weird day, we talked about death for a bit, and then he asked when he could see me again...yay! Call me paranoid, but I guess I just don't know enough about him yet to think that when he said he enjoyed our date, that he really did. I still felt like he was a little standoffish toward the whole thing...lots of complex emotions and thoughts go into that statement, but I'll leave it at that. So, we planned for me to head down to Hollywood Wednesday night for dinner this week...and I mentioned to him that I now had something to look forward to for the next two days. I felt weird saying that to him - again, a paranoid vibe that I just don't seem to garner the response from him I want. But, he instantly replied that he would be looking forward to it as well, and he had excitement in his voice when he asked when he could see me again...it was an uplifting conversation and I felt 100 times better when we hung up...not necessarily about any potential future between the two of us (okay, maybe a little), but because somehow...without *really* knowing each other...that quick 23 minute conversation made all the worries of my day fade away. I actually smiled when we hung up...and I'm looking forward to seeing him again on Wednesday :).
Then, a fellow ag teacher (one of my best friends) received a voice mail saying that one of her good friends had been killed in Iraq. I immediately took her permission slip for the kid she had at the conference and sent her home...makes me really thankful my sister came home in one piece last week after her year in Iraq serving in the Army.
Then, I spent the afternoon/evening exhausted, but graded papers and headed to school to enter all the grades into my computer. I got instantly depressed with how low the grades are that my students have - and by the fact that I really just wanted to nap but have so much to do.
Then, I had a somewhat sad conversation with someone I had been really close to this summer - him and I have grown WAY distant since our time this summer, and I think I was almost in tears when we hung up because I really do miss him and the close friendship we had. The conversation was filled with the stress of our ag teaching jobs and how much we await this month to be over so life can return to a somewhat normal state. But, I can't really describe it...I was even more depressed after we got off the phone...probably just a long day.
And then I settled in to watch some shows I'd recorded on the DVR and thought about calling the guy I went out with Saturday night...he had told me he enjoyed our date, but I hadn't really felt good about how he really felt...can't explain that either. But, as I pondered calling him, my phone rang with his number...we have ESPN or something ;). So I told him about my weird day, we talked about death for a bit, and then he asked when he could see me again...yay! Call me paranoid, but I guess I just don't know enough about him yet to think that when he said he enjoyed our date, that he really did. I still felt like he was a little standoffish toward the whole thing...lots of complex emotions and thoughts go into that statement, but I'll leave it at that. So, we planned for me to head down to Hollywood Wednesday night for dinner this week...and I mentioned to him that I now had something to look forward to for the next two days. I felt weird saying that to him - again, a paranoid vibe that I just don't seem to garner the response from him I want. But, he instantly replied that he would be looking forward to it as well, and he had excitement in his voice when he asked when he could see me again...it was an uplifting conversation and I felt 100 times better when we hung up...not necessarily about any potential future between the two of us (okay, maybe a little), but because somehow...without *really* knowing each other...that quick 23 minute conversation made all the worries of my day fade away. I actually smiled when we hung up...and I'm looking forward to seeing him again on Wednesday :).