Really Gay Entry beware
Ok, So I don't write entry's like this very often,but I'm going to because I think I need to get it out.
So I'm sitting here looking thru old pictures of different trips I've been on, and I used to travel ALL THE TIME like just stupid weekend trips with my family,marching band, friends, winterguard etc..I saw so many cool sights but back then unfortunately I was younger and didn't really care about them I just wanted to have fun with my friends. But for instance this weekend has been a gorgeous fall weekend and all I want to do is go to Massachusetts or some place like that and walk around the old streets in a sweater and see the sights, how gay I know, but seriously I miss doing things with people I care about. I feel like an old women saying this but I wanna go to craft fairs, or pick apples, or to Salem MA, or Boston! Just someplace where I can see cool sights ,maybe go to a museum! I absolutely love New England as well, especially maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire ok so all of it basically. I would love to go to Portland for the weekend and walk along the harbor, eat lobster for 9 dollars, walk thru the little shops etc..but not alone
Which brings up the second part of this post,
So I'm completely content being single, and I actually do it to myself, this morning Manny is supposed to call me and wants to take me to lunch and do something afterwords, perfect opportunity right? I am ignoring his call, I don't understand myself. He's very very attractive, a great personality and yeah I would like to get to know him better, but then I don't. This has happened 4 times so far this year with different people, why can't I just go ahead and date someone?! well I know why but it's the stupidest reason ever, I just don't feel like I connect with any of them and I am WAY to picky. and then there's the stuck up reason too,(no one hate me) but I don't want to date anyone from this area, I have goals in life and want to travel, and do well in my career,meet intellectual and fun people, people who have opinions on things, or who want to do more with their lives and here no one wants that, they are perfectly content with staying in ephratah or fulton county forever and that is soo great for them if they are happy,but thats not what I want, and...I'm leaving in January and to be honest with you I'm not sure if I will ever actually live here for a long period of time again, my mom is basically giving my room away in january because we need the space, so I have to think about that too. But the main reason I'm thinking about all this is because I have noticed soo many of my friends have been talking about marriage in the next few years or they are settled with someone, or at least have that person to do daily activites with. I am soo happy for all of them and truly excited for them. It means weddings for me to go to/ be in ( hopefully), Couples whom I can go and have dinner with and all that grown up stuff. But I just do not feel like I'm leading a grown up life yet and even though its exactly what I want.Not to be settled in the next few years though just start some of the grown up activities. I actually have a 10 year plan hahaha.Finish School with a masters ( maybe more), Travel alot with boyfriend or without, live it up for a while doing the career thing and social thing wherever I settle, Get married, travel with my husband and actually get secure, then start family by time I'm 30. Yeah Right that will never happen right I can at least plan on it and pretend it's a possibility though ..but I do want sometime to share the time with and actually do stuff with, so why can't I let myself? Just haven't found the right person my mom says, and then she's like well you probably have you are just looking him by and then she gets all crazy hahaha. Well thats my rant on that subject, sorry if you actually went thru and read it all.
On the other hand, I'm really happy here right at the moment, not content enough to stay forever haha but this semester has not been so bad, I'm looking forward to January of course but I'm am still completely happy with my decision to stay here for one semester. BUT, I am missing Potsdam like crazy I was looking at the new pictures from SAI and seriously I can not believe how much I miss my sisters, or waking up on weekends talking with the girls about what happened the night before then going to brunch with my best friends proceeding to talk about how we should do work all day and end up on the couch/beds watching movies, then doing whatever suits us that night, and my sunday SAI meeting I know I got tired of them but I miss them, and meeting up for dinners every night at 6, my nightly bathroom chats with cate, man I miss you cate!!!! AND P.S to you I'm sooo excited for you ( and me hahahaaha) about something you wrote in your email see if you can guess what it is then I'll write to you about it. I miss living with my friends, I miss potsdam's campus weird huh?, MUSIC - this may sound crazy but I miss music, I need to start playing again I forget that I AM a musician and DID get accepted to the Crane School of Music. Just because I'm not in crane anymore does not mean music isn't a part of me, my entire life was devoted to music since 7th grade then suddenly it stopped, I'm not gonna lie lately my favorite station in my car is the classical one and I love that I can listen to it and pick out the theory in it and I know the composer but it's fading and I do not want it to, I would love to take another music class, not make it my major but take one, I WILL be playing in band and hopefully singing in choir. I"m playing for church now just to keep myself playing and I actually enjoy going to church again.
OK well seriously I'm done now. It's a gorgeous sunday and I feel like "fall" Cleaning so I'm going to do that ,I have a bunch of homework to do and then I'm working at 5, I really can not wait till granny's closes I'll have soo much more time to work out, do homework and stuff..aight peace everyone enjoy your autumns
P.S - Michael Hunt if you read this or dot pass this on to michael, I MISS YOU give me a call sometime
So I'm sitting here looking thru old pictures of different trips I've been on, and I used to travel ALL THE TIME like just stupid weekend trips with my family,marching band, friends, winterguard etc..I saw so many cool sights but back then unfortunately I was younger and didn't really care about them I just wanted to have fun with my friends. But for instance this weekend has been a gorgeous fall weekend and all I want to do is go to Massachusetts or some place like that and walk around the old streets in a sweater and see the sights, how gay I know, but seriously I miss doing things with people I care about. I feel like an old women saying this but I wanna go to craft fairs, or pick apples, or to Salem MA, or Boston! Just someplace where I can see cool sights ,maybe go to a museum! I absolutely love New England as well, especially maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire ok so all of it basically. I would love to go to Portland for the weekend and walk along the harbor, eat lobster for 9 dollars, walk thru the little shops etc..but not alone
Which brings up the second part of this post,
So I'm completely content being single, and I actually do it to myself, this morning Manny is supposed to call me and wants to take me to lunch and do something afterwords, perfect opportunity right? I am ignoring his call, I don't understand myself. He's very very attractive, a great personality and yeah I would like to get to know him better, but then I don't. This has happened 4 times so far this year with different people, why can't I just go ahead and date someone?! well I know why but it's the stupidest reason ever, I just don't feel like I connect with any of them and I am WAY to picky. and then there's the stuck up reason too,(no one hate me) but I don't want to date anyone from this area, I have goals in life and want to travel, and do well in my career,meet intellectual and fun people, people who have opinions on things, or who want to do more with their lives and here no one wants that, they are perfectly content with staying in ephratah or fulton county forever and that is soo great for them if they are happy,but thats not what I want, and...I'm leaving in January and to be honest with you I'm not sure if I will ever actually live here for a long period of time again, my mom is basically giving my room away in january because we need the space, so I have to think about that too. But the main reason I'm thinking about all this is because I have noticed soo many of my friends have been talking about marriage in the next few years or they are settled with someone, or at least have that person to do daily activites with. I am soo happy for all of them and truly excited for them. It means weddings for me to go to/ be in ( hopefully), Couples whom I can go and have dinner with and all that grown up stuff. But I just do not feel like I'm leading a grown up life yet and even though its exactly what I want.Not to be settled in the next few years though just start some of the grown up activities. I actually have a 10 year plan hahaha.Finish School with a masters ( maybe more), Travel alot with boyfriend or without, live it up for a while doing the career thing and social thing wherever I settle, Get married, travel with my husband and actually get secure, then start family by time I'm 30. Yeah Right that will never happen right I can at least plan on it and pretend it's a possibility though ..but I do want sometime to share the time with and actually do stuff with, so why can't I let myself? Just haven't found the right person my mom says, and then she's like well you probably have you are just looking him by and then she gets all crazy hahaha. Well thats my rant on that subject, sorry if you actually went thru and read it all.
On the other hand, I'm really happy here right at the moment, not content enough to stay forever haha but this semester has not been so bad, I'm looking forward to January of course but I'm am still completely happy with my decision to stay here for one semester. BUT, I am missing Potsdam like crazy I was looking at the new pictures from SAI and seriously I can not believe how much I miss my sisters, or waking up on weekends talking with the girls about what happened the night before then going to brunch with my best friends proceeding to talk about how we should do work all day and end up on the couch/beds watching movies, then doing whatever suits us that night, and my sunday SAI meeting I know I got tired of them but I miss them, and meeting up for dinners every night at 6, my nightly bathroom chats with cate, man I miss you cate!!!! AND P.S to you I'm sooo excited for you ( and me hahahaaha) about something you wrote in your email see if you can guess what it is then I'll write to you about it. I miss living with my friends, I miss potsdam's campus weird huh?, MUSIC - this may sound crazy but I miss music, I need to start playing again I forget that I AM a musician and DID get accepted to the Crane School of Music. Just because I'm not in crane anymore does not mean music isn't a part of me, my entire life was devoted to music since 7th grade then suddenly it stopped, I'm not gonna lie lately my favorite station in my car is the classical one and I love that I can listen to it and pick out the theory in it and I know the composer but it's fading and I do not want it to, I would love to take another music class, not make it my major but take one, I WILL be playing in band and hopefully singing in choir. I"m playing for church now just to keep myself playing and I actually enjoy going to church again.
OK well seriously I'm done now. It's a gorgeous sunday and I feel like "fall" Cleaning so I'm going to do that ,I have a bunch of homework to do and then I'm working at 5, I really can not wait till granny's closes I'll have soo much more time to work out, do homework and stuff..aight peace everyone enjoy your autumns
P.S - Michael Hunt if you read this or dot pass this on to michael, I MISS YOU give me a call sometime