Hello?
Its still bad...I think every day that its getting better...but its not. I still cant stand being with someone with an ex wife and children...I am still negative towards the boys, I still wake up every morning thinking "what is the meaning to my life?"...I still hate what is going on in my life right now...I'm starting to lose sight of who I really am...and who I always told myself I would be...its slipping further and further away...After being in LA...I said to myself, what the hell am I still doing in Maine? I loved LA. I still think about if Ck and I had stayed together, and lived in California one day together how happy we would have been...I really appreciated who he was after seeing Cali. I really appreciate who he is after dating someone who isnt him...I guess the question is, what do I want? Stay here and be miserable and make other people happy? Or chase after what I know ive always wanted and make myself happy? Ive always known the answer, its just so hard to follow it.