first post to CF fiction
Author’s Note: A woman’s reasons for an abortion
Dear God,
Today I am going to have an abortion.
I am not asking for your forgiveness for my action
As I feel there is nothing to forgive
I am asking you for strength
The strength for the words I will receive
From the people who call me murderer
Even though I am not committing one
For those that spit at my feet
The man who got me pregnant doesn’t know
I’m not going to tell him
He’ll call me a murderer, as well.
It is not because his accusation will hurt
But it will be because I will kill him
If those words ever leave his mouth
When I first found out I was pregnant
I freaked and cried
I am emotional
I am over emotional
My hormones are in over drive
I have been thinking of names
Amelia and Charles are cute names
My decision did not come easy
People will call me selfish
I know I am
And I am irresponsible to boot
I like sleeping in and staying up late
I don’t want to curb my cursing
and watching Hentai in my living room
I do the last one naked
I also like the courses I am taking
But I also being unselfish about this
I barely make the money to get by
Babies come with price tags
They need stuff to survive and
I don’t have the money
I make only two thousand a month
From speaking dirty to men on another line
I would have to give up going to school
I can’t have both; baby and education
I would have to give up being me
I am also on meds at the moment
They keep me stable
If I were to have the baby
I would have to come off them
I am not reliable if I come off them
I wake up in different states
Hurting others and I can become fun
No child should go through this
No child should be the one to stay up
Wondering, “Where is Mommy?”
You may judge what I am doing
and others defiantly will
But before you all send me to hell in a breadbasket
Remember this I am not happy with my action
But I will not regret.