i love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillow case
heres the deal: i feel like there are a lot of things i'm going after and a lot i'm trying to accomplish. so much that i've been getting overwhelmed with chasing. so i'm gonna take a little while to really define what i'm looking for and see if theres any realistic way to get all of this accomplished in the near future:
1. i first want to accomplish COLLEGE. I know that I will be graduated from UC by the end of fall quarter. that is not an issue. The issue is what next? recently, i've been feeling no doubt that i'm going forward with mortuary science. i spent so much time worrying about oh no, what if its not for me, what if i cant handle that? well instead of letting that scare me away from the major, i'm just gonna give it a try. i need to. if it turns out its not for me, i'll deal with it then. otherwise we all know i'll question 'what if.' so that issue is final. now what do i need to do to accomplish it? i need to apply and be accept for spring '09 enrollment at CCMS.
2. i want to forget about LOVE. half of my god forsaken entries have been about how i'm so sappy and sad and how all i ever want is a lova lova. well i dont anymore. i just wanna have a good time. it seems strange to me that i put relationships on such a pedestal when nothing in my life has made them seem worth it. mom and dad give me a good goal to accomplish someday, in that i want to have a longlasting, happy marriage and never fall out of love. but good lord, i'm 19 years old and i am not capable of that right now. i'm stupid for trying to fool myself about that. these last couple weeks i've really been trying to concentrate on school, but also feel good about myself. this has included eating better and maybe a little exercise. but it has also included taking a little extra time in the morning to fix my hair, wash my face and make myself presentable. its hard to even feel alive when you get right out of bed and try to go and get things done. i'm not trying to impress anyone but myself. but it really is amazing how much better you can feel about yourself when you feel like you look presentable. no more sweatshirts unless theyre appropriate for the weather. and no more sweatpants unless i'm just trying to get stuff done around the house.
3. i need to regain appreciation for my JOB. good LORD i have been letting work stress me out so much. i'm a salon and spa coordinator at a salon that i have gone to all my life and i absolutely LOVE it. so i dont know how i've come up with so much to complain about. its like i forgot how to be patient and how to appreciate things worth appreciating. sure coworkers might do frustrating things, but i am not there to react to those things. i am there to work for the clients and get things done for the salon. i love love love customer service, and when i'm too busy worrying about how many days my coworkers take off, i can't give all my attention to the clients.
4. with my brothers wedding this november, i've been all about LOOKING GOOD for it. everyone knows wedding pictures never get completely put away. so heres the deal (and i think this kinda goes along with the whole looking-better-to-feel-better thing). yes, i'm going to keep growing my hair out. the same hair cut for 2 years just needs to stop. and of course, theres all that important skin care, so that when i'm 60 i'll still look 40. but for the wedding specifically, i wanted to get in shape so that when it comes time for dress alterations, they'll have to take in SO MUCH. but goals have changed. I've been trying to eat better, and in doing so, i've realized that i dont need to be a skinny bitch to be happy about myself. just by eating better foods, i really do FEEL better. not so frumpy and not so gross. so i'm not all about getting skinny right now. instead i just want to be in shape and tone up. dont worry, i've already been looking up HEALTHY meal plans and things along with light-weight exercises and things.
5. i feel like there was something else i was supposed to put for number 5, but i cant think of it. so number 5 will just summarize. here it is: i'm offically starting MISSION MOLLY-PICKS-HERSELF-UP-OFF-THE-GROUND. seriously. wish me luck.
1. i first want to accomplish COLLEGE. I know that I will be graduated from UC by the end of fall quarter. that is not an issue. The issue is what next? recently, i've been feeling no doubt that i'm going forward with mortuary science. i spent so much time worrying about oh no, what if its not for me, what if i cant handle that? well instead of letting that scare me away from the major, i'm just gonna give it a try. i need to. if it turns out its not for me, i'll deal with it then. otherwise we all know i'll question 'what if.' so that issue is final. now what do i need to do to accomplish it? i need to apply and be accept for spring '09 enrollment at CCMS.
2. i want to forget about LOVE. half of my god forsaken entries have been about how i'm so sappy and sad and how all i ever want is a lova lova. well i dont anymore. i just wanna have a good time. it seems strange to me that i put relationships on such a pedestal when nothing in my life has made them seem worth it. mom and dad give me a good goal to accomplish someday, in that i want to have a longlasting, happy marriage and never fall out of love. but good lord, i'm 19 years old and i am not capable of that right now. i'm stupid for trying to fool myself about that. these last couple weeks i've really been trying to concentrate on school, but also feel good about myself. this has included eating better and maybe a little exercise. but it has also included taking a little extra time in the morning to fix my hair, wash my face and make myself presentable. its hard to even feel alive when you get right out of bed and try to go and get things done. i'm not trying to impress anyone but myself. but it really is amazing how much better you can feel about yourself when you feel like you look presentable. no more sweatshirts unless theyre appropriate for the weather. and no more sweatpants unless i'm just trying to get stuff done around the house.
3. i need to regain appreciation for my JOB. good LORD i have been letting work stress me out so much. i'm a salon and spa coordinator at a salon that i have gone to all my life and i absolutely LOVE it. so i dont know how i've come up with so much to complain about. its like i forgot how to be patient and how to appreciate things worth appreciating. sure coworkers might do frustrating things, but i am not there to react to those things. i am there to work for the clients and get things done for the salon. i love love love customer service, and when i'm too busy worrying about how many days my coworkers take off, i can't give all my attention to the clients.
4. with my brothers wedding this november, i've been all about LOOKING GOOD for it. everyone knows wedding pictures never get completely put away. so heres the deal (and i think this kinda goes along with the whole looking-better-to-feel-better thing). yes, i'm going to keep growing my hair out. the same hair cut for 2 years just needs to stop. and of course, theres all that important skin care, so that when i'm 60 i'll still look 40. but for the wedding specifically, i wanted to get in shape so that when it comes time for dress alterations, they'll have to take in SO MUCH. but goals have changed. I've been trying to eat better, and in doing so, i've realized that i dont need to be a skinny bitch to be happy about myself. just by eating better foods, i really do FEEL better. not so frumpy and not so gross. so i'm not all about getting skinny right now. instead i just want to be in shape and tone up. dont worry, i've already been looking up HEALTHY meal plans and things along with light-weight exercises and things.
5. i feel like there was something else i was supposed to put for number 5, but i cant think of it. so number 5 will just summarize. here it is: i'm offically starting MISSION MOLLY-PICKS-HERSELF-UP-OFF-THE-GROUND. seriously. wish me luck.