teaching journey
This is going to be a big download, so I'm going to put things behind cut tags. Long story short: I realized that I'm not taking care of myself lately because I'm not making a concerted effort to process everything I'm going through, and the way I've always done that is through words: either talking and listening, or writing. Mostly writing. This is my attempt to make space for that, and also to update you guys on what I'm doing with myself out here.
Most of you know that, but I'm not sure we fully comprehend what that means. When I first started coming to Oakland, folks told me to be wary of Fruitvale. It's a contested gang territory that starts in the "20's", pushes through the "40s" and then another gang is pushing back in from the "upper 90s" through the "30s".
I work in the "30s". Think of it as North Minneapolis but more Latino.
3 years ago the community and a design team of teachers and administrators dreamed up my school as as solution to some of the problems with larger middle schools in oakland. They took a school that was dysfunctional, that literally the students were running, and created the vision for the school I am in now.
I began working there halfway through year two as a day-to-day substitute that they liked. See, subs have to be booked in advance and called and Oakland really doesn't have much of a filtration or training system for subs for middle and high school: so they like to know the "good subs." I'm sure that's the same anywhere. I became one of the "good subs" last year for several East Oakland schools, but the ones I got really close to and was constantly at were the high school and one middle school in East Oakland. They are known to be the roughest schools here.
I always thought of teaching as the ultimate "oh shit" plan. It was my "oh shit" plan for if I didn't get into graduate school, or hit 30 and didn't really know what I wanted to do.
When I moved out here, I was still thinking of it and a friend of mine told me to try to sub. I got everything in order when I was still bartending and started doing it over a year ago. Now I'm trying to get my foot in the door for a teacher credentialing program.
There are two ways to do this:
1- You enter into a credentialing program at a university, eventually do student teaching and then you're a fully-fledged teacher
2- You enter into an internship program and do your first year teaching (student teaching is a boot camp over the summer) *while* you earn your credential. We have a lot of interns and I've applied to two internship programs.
From December 2008 through the end of the 2009 school year, I was at my school at least once a week. They made it plain that they liked and appreciated me and I fit in and was the "sought after" sub: in fact, teachers got upset when I was already on site for someone else and they had to put in for a crap shoot sub.
I got a call over spring break last year asking if I could do something long term. One of our interns needed to take a leave of absence. I asked "how long" and they said "we'll figure that out". It ended up being until the end of the year. Six weeks, 24 kids. The class was "newcomer math/science" which is part of our english language development program for students who are very new to the country and don't speak english yet. So for six weeks I taught them geometry and astronomy.
By the end of the six weeks the *then* principal asked if I'd like to be our STIP this year. I signed a contract. What that means is that I am a substitute teacher who only works at my school. If no one is sick, I still show up and depending on how they choose to use me, they give me stuff to do. My plan was to STIP for a year while passing the CSETs in math (these are the equivalence to a degree in your subject area and allow you to enter credentialing programs/internships).
Over the summer, I passes the CSET Mathematics II exam in Geometry, probability and statistics. I guess teaching newcomers helped with that, and a little cram session with our 6th grade math teacher on probability/stat.
Mind you, I said I was "supposed" to be working on becoming a teacher and subbing.
I got a call a month before school started: could I start the year for a teacher who was having surgery...I was ok with that, scared of teaching 6th grade...but knew I'd get support.
So I started the year with 6th grade humanities and taught the first 8 weeks of the year: this is when teachers set up management systems, expectations, and behavior norms. I can honestly say that my 6th graders were amazing: I loved every single one of them and it hurt me to move on when the other teacher came back.
Meanwhile, in the 8th grade: kids were setting fire to a new teacher's classroom...so I didn't get to partner teach and let my kids adjust to their new teacher: I was re-allocated as a resource to do "push ins" to the algebra teacher's classroom. He never really communicated with me what his plans were (lesson plans, quiz data, etc) or what he wanted me to do. He was clearly overwhelmed. He was terrible at classroom management. So I took over the upper-level kids who needed a push and set up my own systems for making them feel held accountable for homework and assignments, and tutored them while also stepping in periodically to manage things. I also made a LOT of phone calls. I would literally write mini pull-out lesson plans for my students, complete with exit tickets (mini-quizzes to see what we'd learned), only to walk in and have him tell me I should do what he wanted that day. Or I'd plan intervention pull outs for the low-level kids and he'd tell me to work with the high level kids. It was dysfunctional, painful and it sucked to be in there.
In december there was an incident with a student. Nothing serious, but he grabbed a kid in anger. He scared himself and resigned. I have been teaching his classes ever since.
Legally, I can be in a classroom for 30 days, but then they have to get someone else. We opened a job ticket right away, interviewed a few people. We needed someone experienced because of the management disaster that was the beginning of algebra. A few people interviewed, one subbed for me for a day. Most of those folks said "no."
I changed his grading system, made clearer ways to report back to kids how to earn a grade, expectations, a quiet signal, and really set up the stage for how class was going to go, but I had 2 periods of algebra that I could not get settled. I went to the principal, 8th grade and VP and told them it was not fair to the kids in those rooms who wanted to learn, that I had to spend all of my time with the yahoos.
So we hired someone who'd said no: she took the upper-level kids (proficient and advanced) and I taught algebra readiness to everyone else, using the algebra standards to "figure out" what they needed.
My class sizes dropped from 32-35 to 14-22 and I had 4 of them. It got slightly better, but I still really struggled with 2 of my classes. Finally, when Teach For America got word back to me in May, I asked for help again: the teacher we hired had been pushing into my challenging classes and I'd been teaching, but I was losing my cool and she is calmer about things than me...so she offered to take over those two, and effectively switch roles with me: she's the teacher and I'm the tutor more or less (except we're both teachers and we both help). It works really well and I'm learning a lot from her, especially about hands-on learning for math.
Now I'm more or less back together and refocused. I didn't do the "best" job, but I can say with confidence that my students, who will all repeat algebra next year, came in below grade level and went out with most of the tools they will need to be successful next year.
Another internship program (teach for america) turned me down in May. A BUNCH of other shitty stuff happened in my personal life. I took a deep breath and a step back, and then we went to our retreat. My plan was to pass the algebra CSET this summer and I'm studying for it now that I have more time. I am working to also support my partner teacher because she's taking her ELD certs this summer (you have to have a cert to work in oakland for working with language learners) and she's studying for her national boards exams.
I realized at the retreat that the reason I chose math was that I could get someone else to help me pay for it, and I was pretty good at it. But my revelation was that since I've chosen to do a traditional credentialing program: I don't have to do that anymore.
So, I think I'm going to take the English CSETs this summer. I have a BA,, and with minor studying, I can pass them. because the truth is: Oakland needs English teachers too, and if I have a passion I can truly bring into a classroom...and make real for kids...and make them feel it: it's English. The taste I got of it, teaching 6th grade at the beginning of the year, reading stories and writing stories with them...was amazing.
It's harder to teach english: harder to grade. I've been reading for so long and reading so well that I really don't understand the process kids go through to learn to read better. I have no idea how to teach spelling.
And all this took was three of my coworkers saying "we need english teachers too, and you're good at it". One was my partner teacher from the beginning of the year for the 6th graders (she had half of the kids and I had half), one was the 6th grade math teacher who helped me pass geometry/stat, and the other was my 8th grade teammate.
And when I think about it now: you need the math to graduate high school. But you need to be able to communicate, speak your truth and find your voice in order to live.
since I realized on this retreat that I'm really struggling with myself because A) math is boring, B) teaching math to all 8th graders ready or not is stupid, traumatizing and dysfunctional and C)I'm not really good enough at math to pass the ridiculously hard tests to just get my foot in the door....
...I'm a fucking poet. What was I thinking?
So. Long story short: I'm taking the English test this summer. I'm going to pass it. I'm going to enter into a program at Cal-state East Bay and I'm going to beg my principal to write off my student teaching hours since I've been in a class room a LOT already.
And you know what else? I'm going to stay in East Oakland.
Most of you know that, but I'm not sure we fully comprehend what that means. When I first started coming to Oakland, folks told me to be wary of Fruitvale. It's a contested gang territory that starts in the "20's", pushes through the "40s" and then another gang is pushing back in from the "upper 90s" through the "30s".
I work in the "30s". Think of it as North Minneapolis but more Latino.
3 years ago the community and a design team of teachers and administrators dreamed up my school as as solution to some of the problems with larger middle schools in oakland. They took a school that was dysfunctional, that literally the students were running, and created the vision for the school I am in now.
I began working there halfway through year two as a day-to-day substitute that they liked. See, subs have to be booked in advance and called and Oakland really doesn't have much of a filtration or training system for subs for middle and high school: so they like to know the "good subs." I'm sure that's the same anywhere. I became one of the "good subs" last year for several East Oakland schools, but the ones I got really close to and was constantly at were the high school and one middle school in East Oakland. They are known to be the roughest schools here.
I always thought of teaching as the ultimate "oh shit" plan. It was my "oh shit" plan for if I didn't get into graduate school, or hit 30 and didn't really know what I wanted to do.
When I moved out here, I was still thinking of it and a friend of mine told me to try to sub. I got everything in order when I was still bartending and started doing it over a year ago. Now I'm trying to get my foot in the door for a teacher credentialing program.
There are two ways to do this:
1- You enter into a credentialing program at a university, eventually do student teaching and then you're a fully-fledged teacher
2- You enter into an internship program and do your first year teaching (student teaching is a boot camp over the summer) *while* you earn your credential. We have a lot of interns and I've applied to two internship programs.
From December 2008 through the end of the 2009 school year, I was at my school at least once a week. They made it plain that they liked and appreciated me and I fit in and was the "sought after" sub: in fact, teachers got upset when I was already on site for someone else and they had to put in for a crap shoot sub.
I got a call over spring break last year asking if I could do something long term. One of our interns needed to take a leave of absence. I asked "how long" and they said "we'll figure that out". It ended up being until the end of the year. Six weeks, 24 kids. The class was "newcomer math/science" which is part of our english language development program for students who are very new to the country and don't speak english yet. So for six weeks I taught them geometry and astronomy.
By the end of the six weeks the *then* principal asked if I'd like to be our STIP this year. I signed a contract. What that means is that I am a substitute teacher who only works at my school. If no one is sick, I still show up and depending on how they choose to use me, they give me stuff to do. My plan was to STIP for a year while passing the CSETs in math (these are the equivalence to a degree in your subject area and allow you to enter credentialing programs/internships).
Over the summer, I passes the CSET Mathematics II exam in Geometry, probability and statistics. I guess teaching newcomers helped with that, and a little cram session with our 6th grade math teacher on probability/stat.
Mind you, I said I was "supposed" to be working on becoming a teacher and subbing.
I got a call a month before school started: could I start the year for a teacher who was having surgery...I was ok with that, scared of teaching 6th grade...but knew I'd get support.
So I started the year with 6th grade humanities and taught the first 8 weeks of the year: this is when teachers set up management systems, expectations, and behavior norms. I can honestly say that my 6th graders were amazing: I loved every single one of them and it hurt me to move on when the other teacher came back.
Meanwhile, in the 8th grade: kids were setting fire to a new teacher's classroom...so I didn't get to partner teach and let my kids adjust to their new teacher: I was re-allocated as a resource to do "push ins" to the algebra teacher's classroom. He never really communicated with me what his plans were (lesson plans, quiz data, etc) or what he wanted me to do. He was clearly overwhelmed. He was terrible at classroom management. So I took over the upper-level kids who needed a push and set up my own systems for making them feel held accountable for homework and assignments, and tutored them while also stepping in periodically to manage things. I also made a LOT of phone calls. I would literally write mini pull-out lesson plans for my students, complete with exit tickets (mini-quizzes to see what we'd learned), only to walk in and have him tell me I should do what he wanted that day. Or I'd plan intervention pull outs for the low-level kids and he'd tell me to work with the high level kids. It was dysfunctional, painful and it sucked to be in there.
In december there was an incident with a student. Nothing serious, but he grabbed a kid in anger. He scared himself and resigned. I have been teaching his classes ever since.
Legally, I can be in a classroom for 30 days, but then they have to get someone else. We opened a job ticket right away, interviewed a few people. We needed someone experienced because of the management disaster that was the beginning of algebra. A few people interviewed, one subbed for me for a day. Most of those folks said "no."
I changed his grading system, made clearer ways to report back to kids how to earn a grade, expectations, a quiet signal, and really set up the stage for how class was going to go, but I had 2 periods of algebra that I could not get settled. I went to the principal, 8th grade and VP and told them it was not fair to the kids in those rooms who wanted to learn, that I had to spend all of my time with the yahoos.
So we hired someone who'd said no: she took the upper-level kids (proficient and advanced) and I taught algebra readiness to everyone else, using the algebra standards to "figure out" what they needed.
My class sizes dropped from 32-35 to 14-22 and I had 4 of them. It got slightly better, but I still really struggled with 2 of my classes. Finally, when Teach For America got word back to me in May, I asked for help again: the teacher we hired had been pushing into my challenging classes and I'd been teaching, but I was losing my cool and she is calmer about things than me...so she offered to take over those two, and effectively switch roles with me: she's the teacher and I'm the tutor more or less (except we're both teachers and we both help). It works really well and I'm learning a lot from her, especially about hands-on learning for math.
Now I'm more or less back together and refocused. I didn't do the "best" job, but I can say with confidence that my students, who will all repeat algebra next year, came in below grade level and went out with most of the tools they will need to be successful next year.
Another internship program (teach for america) turned me down in May. A BUNCH of other shitty stuff happened in my personal life. I took a deep breath and a step back, and then we went to our retreat. My plan was to pass the algebra CSET this summer and I'm studying for it now that I have more time. I am working to also support my partner teacher because she's taking her ELD certs this summer (you have to have a cert to work in oakland for working with language learners) and she's studying for her national boards exams.
I realized at the retreat that the reason I chose math was that I could get someone else to help me pay for it, and I was pretty good at it. But my revelation was that since I've chosen to do a traditional credentialing program: I don't have to do that anymore.
So, I think I'm going to take the English CSETs this summer. I have a BA,, and with minor studying, I can pass them. because the truth is: Oakland needs English teachers too, and if I have a passion I can truly bring into a classroom...and make real for kids...and make them feel it: it's English. The taste I got of it, teaching 6th grade at the beginning of the year, reading stories and writing stories with them...was amazing.
It's harder to teach english: harder to grade. I've been reading for so long and reading so well that I really don't understand the process kids go through to learn to read better. I have no idea how to teach spelling.
And all this took was three of my coworkers saying "we need english teachers too, and you're good at it". One was my partner teacher from the beginning of the year for the 6th graders (she had half of the kids and I had half), one was the 6th grade math teacher who helped me pass geometry/stat, and the other was my 8th grade teammate.
And when I think about it now: you need the math to graduate high school. But you need to be able to communicate, speak your truth and find your voice in order to live.
since I realized on this retreat that I'm really struggling with myself because A) math is boring, B) teaching math to all 8th graders ready or not is stupid, traumatizing and dysfunctional and C)I'm not really good enough at math to pass the ridiculously hard tests to just get my foot in the door....
...I'm a fucking poet. What was I thinking?
So. Long story short: I'm taking the English test this summer. I'm going to pass it. I'm going to enter into a program at Cal-state East Bay and I'm going to beg my principal to write off my student teaching hours since I've been in a class room a LOT already.
And you know what else? I'm going to stay in East Oakland.