(no subject)
Today was ok. it was basically good. Sang my solo with Cathy, thought I did ok. Rehearsal was basically crap. Next year I hope that my drama class is cool, b/c i seem to have absolutely no close friends among the cast, well.. unless you count those with major roles, but we don't get to do anything together. It's kinda depressing.
Also, I realized today that I'm missing rehearsal this wednesday after 3, and then im missing it altogether on friday because I'm catching a plan to london, and THEN i'm not going to be there on that next monday, i'll be flying back that day. AND THEN I go to school for two days (tuesday and wednesday if you're counting) and then Thursday morning im going to New York with the choir. So I miss thursday and friday school and rehearsal. But, I'm missing AP on both of those days. And guess what?! we have a quiz on the monday I miss and a DOUBLE ESSAY on that Friday. I'm seriously going to die. And then, it's going to be killer trying to make those things up because I have rehearsal every day after school, and I'm afraid if I miss anymore hours i'm going to get kicked out of the show. I don't think I will, but I'd like to know what I have to do on stage so i don't look like a complete idiot.
I think i'm starting to get stress headaches, even though outwardly I'm not stressed. I think I'm internalizing all of it. My shoulders are two huge knots of muscle and they're killing me, along with my back, which is really really tight. I think it's stress combined with just being sore.
I learned how to do this awesome dance step today, courtesy Ashleigh during rehearsal, I'll have to show it to you all later.
Also, I have to fix my grades. Not that they're bad, and my P.E. grade will definetely go up, (GRUMBLE GRUMBLE STOP TALKING TO EMILY AT LUNCH...) now that we're playing softball. I was better at it today than i thought I would be. I guess it's coming back from when I played... even though it was only for like one season. lol.
Life is really odd right now. I really wish i could do something about things. (i know i know, how specific) But I'm too shy or something. More like too frightened I'll mess things up. I mean, if it turns out negative, then at least I know that's how it is and I just need to go forward. But I don't know what I'd do if it turns out negative, I know i'd probably be so down, i couldn't concentrate, so i don't want to risk my life right now. But what it it's positive? I'm so confused... and it's starting to distract me (as it is right now) from my real life.
I hate not liking school. It's so annoying right now, and I see very few of my friends in class. I mean, I have AP with emily and we talk and laugh and sing (hehe, "SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER AND GERMAN---" "SHUT UP!" "fine... getting to know you..." ) but still. Most of my other classes don't have my close friends, probably because I don't have that many close friends. But I look forward to hanging out with everyone on the weekends, but it seems that they're not happy all hanging out together and people are getting their feelings hurt because they're being left out. If they want to hang out.... call people and go out. Then we'll call you. If I feel that someone is uncomfortable around me, I don't think they like me/want to hang out with me. But, if you don't want some people to come, just SAY IT. I won't think less of you (unless it's me you don't want to come, but then why would you be telling me that when you were planning a party)
Seriously people, make up your minds.
Also, I realized today that I'm missing rehearsal this wednesday after 3, and then im missing it altogether on friday because I'm catching a plan to london, and THEN i'm not going to be there on that next monday, i'll be flying back that day. AND THEN I go to school for two days (tuesday and wednesday if you're counting) and then Thursday morning im going to New York with the choir. So I miss thursday and friday school and rehearsal. But, I'm missing AP on both of those days. And guess what?! we have a quiz on the monday I miss and a DOUBLE ESSAY on that Friday. I'm seriously going to die. And then, it's going to be killer trying to make those things up because I have rehearsal every day after school, and I'm afraid if I miss anymore hours i'm going to get kicked out of the show. I don't think I will, but I'd like to know what I have to do on stage so i don't look like a complete idiot.
I think i'm starting to get stress headaches, even though outwardly I'm not stressed. I think I'm internalizing all of it. My shoulders are two huge knots of muscle and they're killing me, along with my back, which is really really tight. I think it's stress combined with just being sore.
I learned how to do this awesome dance step today, courtesy Ashleigh during rehearsal, I'll have to show it to you all later.
Also, I have to fix my grades. Not that they're bad, and my P.E. grade will definetely go up, (GRUMBLE GRUMBLE STOP TALKING TO EMILY AT LUNCH...) now that we're playing softball. I was better at it today than i thought I would be. I guess it's coming back from when I played... even though it was only for like one season. lol.
Life is really odd right now. I really wish i could do something about things. (i know i know, how specific) But I'm too shy or something. More like too frightened I'll mess things up. I mean, if it turns out negative, then at least I know that's how it is and I just need to go forward. But I don't know what I'd do if it turns out negative, I know i'd probably be so down, i couldn't concentrate, so i don't want to risk my life right now. But what it it's positive? I'm so confused... and it's starting to distract me (as it is right now) from my real life.
I hate not liking school. It's so annoying right now, and I see very few of my friends in class. I mean, I have AP with emily and we talk and laugh and sing (hehe, "SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER AND GERMAN---" "SHUT UP!" "fine... getting to know you..." ) but still. Most of my other classes don't have my close friends, probably because I don't have that many close friends. But I look forward to hanging out with everyone on the weekends, but it seems that they're not happy all hanging out together and people are getting their feelings hurt because they're being left out. If they want to hang out.... call people and go out. Then we'll call you. If I feel that someone is uncomfortable around me, I don't think they like me/want to hang out with me. But, if you don't want some people to come, just SAY IT. I won't think less of you (unless it's me you don't want to come, but then why would you be telling me that when you were planning a party)
Seriously people, make up your minds.