What's an Acorn Between Friends
Title: What's an Acron Between Friends
Rating: PG
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin (unrequited), Merlin & Gwen Friendship, Arthur/Gwen.
Summary: Arthur finds out something about his wife and his manservant, and maybe reacts poorly. In his efforts to apologise he stumbles across a secret that he didn't really want to know.
Authors Note: written for the kinkme_merlin prompt: Arthur/Gwen, Gwen/Merlin. Could be Canon or Modern. Arthur and the knights find out that Merlin was Gwen's first kiss.
Or read on AO3
The feast and its occupants were slightly boring, Arthur mused as he took an absent sip of his goblet. Perhaps they should have feasts a little less regularly for the occupants of the castle seemed to have lost their awe for them.
Arthur looked on, watching every member of the court, making sure he could remember all their names. It was embarrassing for a king to stumble on the name of one of his peers. They needed to think Arthur thought them a close companion, then they were more likely to do as he asked.
But then his ears peeked at the sound of his name, and his eyes strayed, as they so often did, back to his wife.
“I think you will find that Arthur was by no means my first kiss.”
“Oooh Princess,” Gwaine leered, leaning past the Queen to look at Arthur. “What noble lord got in there before you eh?”
Arthur grit his teeth, either at Gwen’s admission or Gwaine's smugness, he didn’t know. “Shut up Gwaine.”
“No really, I want to know who this rapscallion is who swept the good Queen off her feet.”
“Perhaps not off my feet,” Gwen smiled, a fond smile. Arthur felt his insides churn with the thought that his wife had ‘fond’ thoughts of someone other than himself. “He was very sweet really.”
“Well spill my Queen.” Gwaine inched forward in his chair, leaning forward eagerly like a lady of court in gossip.
Gwen opened her mouth, but then she glanced to the darkened corners of the room and finally to Arthur, her husband. She could most probably read the possession and jealousy in his stare and shut her mouth. “I really shouldn’t say. It was a private thing.”
“Oh you cannot stop there now Gwen!” Gwaine huffed. “It was just starting to get interesting.”
“I think that I have upset my husband enough for one evening.” She grasped at Arthur’s hand where it rested on his knee. He felt his anger fade… a little.
“There is no upsetting the King ‘enough’ in my opinion. It is said to be good for the desires.” Gwaine waggled his eyebrows up and Gwen swatted a hand at him.
Arthur felt the blush flow right up his cheeks. There was nothing wrong with his… desires. Thank you very much. “I can’t mind too much.” He huffed, sending Gwaine a triumphant look. “She chose me in the end anyway.”
He pulled their enjoined hands above the table top and pressed a quick kiss to Gwen’s hand. He looked up to see Gwen sending an amused smile over his shoulder. He really should stop her wine intake if she couldn’t focus already.
“Oh, but he will always have a special place in my heart.” She grinned, still over Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur subtly moved her wine goblet away from her hand.
“And you in mine, my Queen.”
Arthur blinked at the low voice, that hadn’t come from his own mouth. He looked over his shoulder to see Merlin there, poised, a wine carafe in hand and his idiotic smile on his face. “More wine sire?”
“No way!” Gwaine gaffed. “Go Merlin!”
“I think it was more a triumph of my obliviousness than anything else.” The servant grinned
“Yes.” Gwen smirked. “He never even realised my advances.”
“Hey, I was a young and naïve country boy. I didn’t know of your worldly womanly ways.”
“And then it was too late, I had lost interest.”
“Fickle women.” Merlin countered.
“Oblivious men.” Gwen shot back with a smile.
Arthur blinked, following the shots back and forth between his wife and his servant… his servant…. “Wait… Merlin?!”
“And the princess catches up.” Gwaine murmured.
“Merlin was your first kiss?!” Arthur spluttered
“And my first crush, unless you count the bakers son when I was five.”
“You can’t be serious!” he exclaimed, eyes flicking between his wife, beautiful, gorgeous, sunny, intelligent, strong wife, to the man who found it difficult to even get up on time in the morning. “How…When?”
“Back when you were too much of a prat to notice anyone below your knights.” Merlin shot, filling Arthur goblet without permission. Arthur picked it up and took a gulp anyway.
“Merlin,” Gwaine murmured, giving the servant an appreciative glance. Arthur bristled. “I never took you for a lady’s man, you hardly look the type.”
Merlin grinned, sending a wink at Gwen. “I’m in disguise.”
That sent Gwen into peals of laughter and she sent a secret shared smile to Merlin who returned it and retreated back to the shadows by the wall. Where he should be, to wait should Arthur, his master, need his assistance.
Arthur gripped at Gwen’s hand more firmly but she had already turned, conversing with Leon who had now finished his lecture to Elyan.
*
Arthur felt off balance, side swiped and blamed that on his perhaps uncouth statements once he and his wife were alone in their chambers.
Arthur had dismissed Merlin for the night, not wanting to have his servant around him, or his wife, at any time in the immediate future. Before turning on Gwen.
“You shall not see or speak to him anymore, am I understood!”
To say Guinevere was unimpressed would be an understatement
“So he kissed me once Arthur” she fumed, “or if you want to get technical, I kissed him!”
“What?!” Arthur spluttered.
“We thought he was dead Arthur. He had no heartbeat and then he was awake and joking, and I kissed him!”
“Do you make a habit of this, taking advantage of the sick and helpless!” he fumed.
Gwen’s face closed, her beautiful fierceness locked up tight behind a wall of stone. “Arthur, now you are crossing a line. I am going to my chambers before you say something you will regret and I cannot forgive. Goodnight husband.”
The door slammed after her and then Arthur was left alone, servantless and wifeless in his chambers.
*
Suffice to say the King did not sleep well that night. He couldn’t find where Merlin had stowed his night shirt and the bed felt cold without his wife’s comforting presence and the fire Merlin always left on through the night.
He was still lying, opened eyed towards the ceiling when there was a knock at the door. Arthur sighed, not knowing whether or not to be happy that it was not Merlin attending him that morning.
The boy who entered nearly cowered away from Arthur stare and left just as silently. He had brought breakfast for two but there was no answer from Gwen’s door when he knocked. So he sat and ate his lonely breakfast, forcing his mind onto the agenda for today.
After having to sit through the morning hearings without his wife’s reassuring presence and having to listen to Lord Hectors prattling’s without Merlin’s amusing faces in the background the King had had enough.
Gritting his teeth he braved it, knocking on Gwen’s door, again. This time when there was no answer he opened the door, to find an empty chamber.
Sighing, he went to his next port of call.
After being informed by Gaius that his wayward manservant was in the library doing some reading Arthur headed there. Geoffrey gave him a small smile upon entry and nodded his head in the direction of voices Arthur murmured his thanks and followed the low sound.
He wished he could have been more surprised to hear both Guinevere and Merlin’s voices floating down the aisle toward him.
“You should really be seeing to your Queenly duties.” Merlin’s voice mumbled
Arthur peered through a small gap in the shelf to see Merlin and Gwen, huddled around an old table, a spread of books out before them.
“I am fulfilling my duties. I am assisting my subjects. Are you not one of my subjects Merlin?” she smiled. There was a cloak hung around both of their shoulders, their sides pressed close together with Gwen’s arm around Merlin’s waist. Arthur blood boiled for a moment, at the blatant liberties Merlin took, with everything really, but with Arthur’s wife it was not acceptable.
“I don’t see you doing much reading my Queen.” Merlin replied, giving Gwen a brief imitation of Gaius’ eyebrow before his eyes fell back down onto the book.
“I am making sure you don’t freeze to death. It’s like the depths of winter in here.” She ran an absent hand up and down Merlin’s side, huddling further into the warmth of the cloak.
Now that Arthur took his mind from the coursing anger in his veins he found he was little chilled, his breath coming out in little fogs before his mouth.
“You should really let him apologise Gwen.” Merlin spoke, not taking his eyes form the large tome he was reading. “If I had a wife such as you I would be wracked with grief all the times you weren’t at my side.”
“Well you have a friend such as me so can’t you shut up and enjoy my company.”
“Gwen…”
“He said I should not see you anymore.” Gwen replied. Arthur felt a small stab of remorse at the heartbreak in Gwen’s tone. “How can he possibly order me to that?”
“He was angry Gwen.” Merlin placated. “He’s Arthur, I have enough bruises from flying goblets to prove he does stupid things when he angry and frustrated.”
“/He/ is stupid.” Gwen replied sullenly, leaning her head against Merlin shoulder.
Merlin let out a bark of laughter, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Wise words, Queen Guinevere.”
“Shut up.” She murmured, batting a hand at Merlin’s chest, but Arthur was pleased to hear some of the anger had seeped out of her voice.
“You are forgiving him already Gwen I can tell.” Merlin grinned. Gwen gave him a small smile in response.
“Maybe.”
“Don’t let him know straight away though.” Merlin advised, “Let him work for it a bit, pamper you.”
Gwen sighed, but smiled, her face lit up again in the happiness Arthur loved to see. And, to his shock, found that he didn’t mind that it was Merlin that put it there. He was about to retreat, to start planning on the pampering that his wife surely deserved when Guinevere’s next words made him stop.
“When you find yourself a girl Merlin, she will surely be a lucky woman.”
Arthur glanced back to see a complex array of emotions flit across Merlin’s face, still aimed down at his books before a carefree smile pasted over it all. “Oh I don’t know about that.” His servant murmured.
Arthur blinked, he had never seen that before, if he had not seen the small crack in the façade he would have never known that smile and tone weren’t as carefree as projected. The King found himself leaning forward.
“Of course she will. You just have to find someone” Gwen assured.
Merlin stood then reaching out to grab another text and pull it toward him. “When do you imagine I have the spare time to meet this ‘lucky woman’?”
“I will make sure Arthur gives you more spare time. Go out with Gwaine and Elyan. Neither are ever very short of female attention.”
“Two Knights of Camelot or the Kings scrawny servant. What a dilemma the women of Camelot will face.” Merlin chuckled, but even Arthur could tell it was forced.
“Don’t Merlin.” Gwen chastised, watching Merlin as carefully as Arthur was. “Promise me,” she spoke solemnly, “promise me that you will find someone, I don’t want you to be alone.”
Arthur waited with breath held for Merlin’s answer. He couldn’t understand or even explain it to himself coherently why it mattered to him. But he waited along with Guinevere as Merlin looked at her.
“I promise.”
But it was a lie. His servant did it so flawlessly, so seamlessly that Gwen smiled, satisfied and pulled back from the table, giving Merlin a kiss to the forehead and tucking her cloak further around the servant’s shoulders.
Arthur shrank back into the shadows but Gwen exited down the adjacent aisle, leaving Merlin alone at the table save for the thick books in front of him.
Arthur stood there, waiting until it would be safe to follow Gwen, to bestow his apologies on her but he looked back one more time.
He saw Merlin, his servant, sat at the large table, books spread out before him, alone.
It was never something he had associated with Merlin; he was always smiling, oddly wise and strong pillar for his friends and King. He joked with the knights, received well-meaning partings from the castle staff and always received a kind word from the people they met. But looking back at the scene Arthur saw Merlin: lonely.
Something pulled painfully in his chest at that. Merlin shifted at the table, reaching into his tunic, pulling a chord from his neck, its attached emblem coming to rest in his careful palm.
Merlin looked at it for a moment, running a gentle hand down its surface. It was only then that Arthur recognized it - his mother’s seal.
The smile of Merlin’s face wasn’t right, it was broken and twisted, and longing shone through his eyes, onto the sigil Arthur had gifted him when he thought it wouldn’t matter, when he thought it was his last night. Arthur had never even thought of asking for it back and hadn’t thought of what Merlin did with it. He knew Merlin would keep it safe, but never dreamed Merlin would keep it so close, next to his heart.
Merlin heaved sigh, resigned, accepting, but heartbreaking to Arthur, tucked the sigil away and buried his nose back into the books.
Arthur stared for a little while longer, not really seeing, traitorous tears clouding his eyes. He stayed until he couldn’t stand the scene anymore, or the heavy grief he knew lay behind each action Merlin took.
He went back to his chambers and got another servant to prepare his chambers for the night, set out a great feast with Gwen’s favorite food and handpicked flowers from the garden for her.
She forgave him, slowly as he knew she had been instructed to do. But in the end they lay side by side, sated in bed. But Arthur found himself unusually awake, staring at the red fabric of his bed canopy, his wife snuggled into his side.
“What is on your mind Arthur, I assure you I have forgiven you. There is no need to feel guilty anymore.”
Arthur summoned a small smile for Gwen. “I think you should spend more time with Merlin. Surely he could always use a friend. Perhaps try to introduce him to some of the girls in the castle. There will be someone that would have him.” He forced the jab out, it stabbing at his throat the whole way out.
Gwen gave him a reproving swat. “I will try, I do worry about him. But I think that maybe he lost someone, in the past, it’s like he is holding on to someone.”
Arthur felt the giant lump in his throat expand pushing behind his eyes. He managed an agreeing hum. Eventually, thankfully he felt his wife go heavy and asleep against his side.
Arthur found no sleep that night. The warm press of his wife against his side and the hanging press of grief and guilt against his heart evermore.
Rating: PG
Pairings: Arthur/Merlin (unrequited), Merlin & Gwen Friendship, Arthur/Gwen.
Summary: Arthur finds out something about his wife and his manservant, and maybe reacts poorly. In his efforts to apologise he stumbles across a secret that he didn't really want to know.
Authors Note: written for the kinkme_merlin prompt: Arthur/Gwen, Gwen/Merlin. Could be Canon or Modern. Arthur and the knights find out that Merlin was Gwen's first kiss.
Or read on AO3
The feast and its occupants were slightly boring, Arthur mused as he took an absent sip of his goblet. Perhaps they should have feasts a little less regularly for the occupants of the castle seemed to have lost their awe for them.
Arthur looked on, watching every member of the court, making sure he could remember all their names. It was embarrassing for a king to stumble on the name of one of his peers. They needed to think Arthur thought them a close companion, then they were more likely to do as he asked.
But then his ears peeked at the sound of his name, and his eyes strayed, as they so often did, back to his wife.
“I think you will find that Arthur was by no means my first kiss.”
“Oooh Princess,” Gwaine leered, leaning past the Queen to look at Arthur. “What noble lord got in there before you eh?”
Arthur grit his teeth, either at Gwen’s admission or Gwaine's smugness, he didn’t know. “Shut up Gwaine.”
“No really, I want to know who this rapscallion is who swept the good Queen off her feet.”
“Perhaps not off my feet,” Gwen smiled, a fond smile. Arthur felt his insides churn with the thought that his wife had ‘fond’ thoughts of someone other than himself. “He was very sweet really.”
“Well spill my Queen.” Gwaine inched forward in his chair, leaning forward eagerly like a lady of court in gossip.
Gwen opened her mouth, but then she glanced to the darkened corners of the room and finally to Arthur, her husband. She could most probably read the possession and jealousy in his stare and shut her mouth. “I really shouldn’t say. It was a private thing.”
“Oh you cannot stop there now Gwen!” Gwaine huffed. “It was just starting to get interesting.”
“I think that I have upset my husband enough for one evening.” She grasped at Arthur’s hand where it rested on his knee. He felt his anger fade… a little.
“There is no upsetting the King ‘enough’ in my opinion. It is said to be good for the desires.” Gwaine waggled his eyebrows up and Gwen swatted a hand at him.
Arthur felt the blush flow right up his cheeks. There was nothing wrong with his… desires. Thank you very much. “I can’t mind too much.” He huffed, sending Gwaine a triumphant look. “She chose me in the end anyway.”
He pulled their enjoined hands above the table top and pressed a quick kiss to Gwen’s hand. He looked up to see Gwen sending an amused smile over his shoulder. He really should stop her wine intake if she couldn’t focus already.
“Oh, but he will always have a special place in my heart.” She grinned, still over Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur subtly moved her wine goblet away from her hand.
“And you in mine, my Queen.”
Arthur blinked at the low voice, that hadn’t come from his own mouth. He looked over his shoulder to see Merlin there, poised, a wine carafe in hand and his idiotic smile on his face. “More wine sire?”
“No way!” Gwaine gaffed. “Go Merlin!”
“I think it was more a triumph of my obliviousness than anything else.” The servant grinned
“Yes.” Gwen smirked. “He never even realised my advances.”
“Hey, I was a young and naïve country boy. I didn’t know of your worldly womanly ways.”
“And then it was too late, I had lost interest.”
“Fickle women.” Merlin countered.
“Oblivious men.” Gwen shot back with a smile.
Arthur blinked, following the shots back and forth between his wife and his servant… his servant…. “Wait… Merlin?!”
“And the princess catches up.” Gwaine murmured.
“Merlin was your first kiss?!” Arthur spluttered
“And my first crush, unless you count the bakers son when I was five.”
“You can’t be serious!” he exclaimed, eyes flicking between his wife, beautiful, gorgeous, sunny, intelligent, strong wife, to the man who found it difficult to even get up on time in the morning. “How…When?”
“Back when you were too much of a prat to notice anyone below your knights.” Merlin shot, filling Arthur goblet without permission. Arthur picked it up and took a gulp anyway.
“Merlin,” Gwaine murmured, giving the servant an appreciative glance. Arthur bristled. “I never took you for a lady’s man, you hardly look the type.”
Merlin grinned, sending a wink at Gwen. “I’m in disguise.”
That sent Gwen into peals of laughter and she sent a secret shared smile to Merlin who returned it and retreated back to the shadows by the wall. Where he should be, to wait should Arthur, his master, need his assistance.
Arthur gripped at Gwen’s hand more firmly but she had already turned, conversing with Leon who had now finished his lecture to Elyan.
*
Arthur felt off balance, side swiped and blamed that on his perhaps uncouth statements once he and his wife were alone in their chambers.
Arthur had dismissed Merlin for the night, not wanting to have his servant around him, or his wife, at any time in the immediate future. Before turning on Gwen.
“You shall not see or speak to him anymore, am I understood!”
To say Guinevere was unimpressed would be an understatement
“So he kissed me once Arthur” she fumed, “or if you want to get technical, I kissed him!”
“What?!” Arthur spluttered.
“We thought he was dead Arthur. He had no heartbeat and then he was awake and joking, and I kissed him!”
“Do you make a habit of this, taking advantage of the sick and helpless!” he fumed.
Gwen’s face closed, her beautiful fierceness locked up tight behind a wall of stone. “Arthur, now you are crossing a line. I am going to my chambers before you say something you will regret and I cannot forgive. Goodnight husband.”
The door slammed after her and then Arthur was left alone, servantless and wifeless in his chambers.
*
Suffice to say the King did not sleep well that night. He couldn’t find where Merlin had stowed his night shirt and the bed felt cold without his wife’s comforting presence and the fire Merlin always left on through the night.
He was still lying, opened eyed towards the ceiling when there was a knock at the door. Arthur sighed, not knowing whether or not to be happy that it was not Merlin attending him that morning.
The boy who entered nearly cowered away from Arthur stare and left just as silently. He had brought breakfast for two but there was no answer from Gwen’s door when he knocked. So he sat and ate his lonely breakfast, forcing his mind onto the agenda for today.
After having to sit through the morning hearings without his wife’s reassuring presence and having to listen to Lord Hectors prattling’s without Merlin’s amusing faces in the background the King had had enough.
Gritting his teeth he braved it, knocking on Gwen’s door, again. This time when there was no answer he opened the door, to find an empty chamber.
Sighing, he went to his next port of call.
After being informed by Gaius that his wayward manservant was in the library doing some reading Arthur headed there. Geoffrey gave him a small smile upon entry and nodded his head in the direction of voices Arthur murmured his thanks and followed the low sound.
He wished he could have been more surprised to hear both Guinevere and Merlin’s voices floating down the aisle toward him.
“You should really be seeing to your Queenly duties.” Merlin’s voice mumbled
Arthur peered through a small gap in the shelf to see Merlin and Gwen, huddled around an old table, a spread of books out before them.
“I am fulfilling my duties. I am assisting my subjects. Are you not one of my subjects Merlin?” she smiled. There was a cloak hung around both of their shoulders, their sides pressed close together with Gwen’s arm around Merlin’s waist. Arthur blood boiled for a moment, at the blatant liberties Merlin took, with everything really, but with Arthur’s wife it was not acceptable.
“I don’t see you doing much reading my Queen.” Merlin replied, giving Gwen a brief imitation of Gaius’ eyebrow before his eyes fell back down onto the book.
“I am making sure you don’t freeze to death. It’s like the depths of winter in here.” She ran an absent hand up and down Merlin’s side, huddling further into the warmth of the cloak.
Now that Arthur took his mind from the coursing anger in his veins he found he was little chilled, his breath coming out in little fogs before his mouth.
“You should really let him apologise Gwen.” Merlin spoke, not taking his eyes form the large tome he was reading. “If I had a wife such as you I would be wracked with grief all the times you weren’t at my side.”
“Well you have a friend such as me so can’t you shut up and enjoy my company.”
“Gwen…”
“He said I should not see you anymore.” Gwen replied. Arthur felt a small stab of remorse at the heartbreak in Gwen’s tone. “How can he possibly order me to that?”
“He was angry Gwen.” Merlin placated. “He’s Arthur, I have enough bruises from flying goblets to prove he does stupid things when he angry and frustrated.”
“/He/ is stupid.” Gwen replied sullenly, leaning her head against Merlin shoulder.
Merlin let out a bark of laughter, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Wise words, Queen Guinevere.”
“Shut up.” She murmured, batting a hand at Merlin’s chest, but Arthur was pleased to hear some of the anger had seeped out of her voice.
“You are forgiving him already Gwen I can tell.” Merlin grinned. Gwen gave him a small smile in response.
“Maybe.”
“Don’t let him know straight away though.” Merlin advised, “Let him work for it a bit, pamper you.”
Gwen sighed, but smiled, her face lit up again in the happiness Arthur loved to see. And, to his shock, found that he didn’t mind that it was Merlin that put it there. He was about to retreat, to start planning on the pampering that his wife surely deserved when Guinevere’s next words made him stop.
“When you find yourself a girl Merlin, she will surely be a lucky woman.”
Arthur glanced back to see a complex array of emotions flit across Merlin’s face, still aimed down at his books before a carefree smile pasted over it all. “Oh I don’t know about that.” His servant murmured.
Arthur blinked, he had never seen that before, if he had not seen the small crack in the façade he would have never known that smile and tone weren’t as carefree as projected. The King found himself leaning forward.
“Of course she will. You just have to find someone” Gwen assured.
Merlin stood then reaching out to grab another text and pull it toward him. “When do you imagine I have the spare time to meet this ‘lucky woman’?”
“I will make sure Arthur gives you more spare time. Go out with Gwaine and Elyan. Neither are ever very short of female attention.”
“Two Knights of Camelot or the Kings scrawny servant. What a dilemma the women of Camelot will face.” Merlin chuckled, but even Arthur could tell it was forced.
“Don’t Merlin.” Gwen chastised, watching Merlin as carefully as Arthur was. “Promise me,” she spoke solemnly, “promise me that you will find someone, I don’t want you to be alone.”
Arthur waited with breath held for Merlin’s answer. He couldn’t understand or even explain it to himself coherently why it mattered to him. But he waited along with Guinevere as Merlin looked at her.
“I promise.”
But it was a lie. His servant did it so flawlessly, so seamlessly that Gwen smiled, satisfied and pulled back from the table, giving Merlin a kiss to the forehead and tucking her cloak further around the servant’s shoulders.
Arthur shrank back into the shadows but Gwen exited down the adjacent aisle, leaving Merlin alone at the table save for the thick books in front of him.
Arthur stood there, waiting until it would be safe to follow Gwen, to bestow his apologies on her but he looked back one more time.
He saw Merlin, his servant, sat at the large table, books spread out before him, alone.
It was never something he had associated with Merlin; he was always smiling, oddly wise and strong pillar for his friends and King. He joked with the knights, received well-meaning partings from the castle staff and always received a kind word from the people they met. But looking back at the scene Arthur saw Merlin: lonely.
Something pulled painfully in his chest at that. Merlin shifted at the table, reaching into his tunic, pulling a chord from his neck, its attached emblem coming to rest in his careful palm.
Merlin looked at it for a moment, running a gentle hand down its surface. It was only then that Arthur recognized it - his mother’s seal.
The smile of Merlin’s face wasn’t right, it was broken and twisted, and longing shone through his eyes, onto the sigil Arthur had gifted him when he thought it wouldn’t matter, when he thought it was his last night. Arthur had never even thought of asking for it back and hadn’t thought of what Merlin did with it. He knew Merlin would keep it safe, but never dreamed Merlin would keep it so close, next to his heart.
Merlin heaved sigh, resigned, accepting, but heartbreaking to Arthur, tucked the sigil away and buried his nose back into the books.
Arthur stared for a little while longer, not really seeing, traitorous tears clouding his eyes. He stayed until he couldn’t stand the scene anymore, or the heavy grief he knew lay behind each action Merlin took.
He went back to his chambers and got another servant to prepare his chambers for the night, set out a great feast with Gwen’s favorite food and handpicked flowers from the garden for her.
She forgave him, slowly as he knew she had been instructed to do. But in the end they lay side by side, sated in bed. But Arthur found himself unusually awake, staring at the red fabric of his bed canopy, his wife snuggled into his side.
“What is on your mind Arthur, I assure you I have forgiven you. There is no need to feel guilty anymore.”
Arthur summoned a small smile for Gwen. “I think you should spend more time with Merlin. Surely he could always use a friend. Perhaps try to introduce him to some of the girls in the castle. There will be someone that would have him.” He forced the jab out, it stabbing at his throat the whole way out.
Gwen gave him a reproving swat. “I will try, I do worry about him. But I think that maybe he lost someone, in the past, it’s like he is holding on to someone.”
Arthur felt the giant lump in his throat expand pushing behind his eyes. He managed an agreeing hum. Eventually, thankfully he felt his wife go heavy and asleep against his side.
Arthur found no sleep that night. The warm press of his wife against his side and the hanging press of grief and guilt against his heart evermore.