-sighs-
Okay.. Yesterday was like hell.. Josh came to pick me up from school and when i looked in the car he had my picture that he usually had in his dash in his hands looking down at it.. i got in the car.. and he looked at me.. and he had tears in his eyes.. thats when i started getting worried.. I asked him what was wronge but Mary was in the back seat.. and the whole trip home was silence..
Got home and Mary got out went home.. me and Josh sat in the car.. and he asked me about Lee Tucker.. asked me if i liked him.. I was like hell no.. honest to gods truth.. but.. then we got on diff subjects.. and Clarence has been going around telling him this shit.. well mother fucker thanks for all the shit that happend between me and Josh.. Well then we sat in the car for a good 30 min. or more.. then finnaly dried up my eyes went inside to my room.. sat there then i thought josh was going to break up with me.. and kept crying untill like 7.. then came back in my room and he said that he thought we should break up.. well then i was like are you kidding.. and he said no.. im like are you really serious.. because by that time i have stoped crying.. well then he I started balling again.. and he grabed me and is like come here.. i was like no and i turned over.. and hes like im not going to break up with you.. well then i still couldnt stop crying.. that hurt..and hes like i love you.. and trying to get my breath i told him i love him too.. and then we fell asleep from all that crying kept getting woke up by the phone.. then he stayed asleep till like 9:30 or so then left..
Then i called Shawns cell and someone else picked it up and was like i know something about you.. and haha you dont kno who this is and its going to kill you inside knowing that you dont kno who i am.. and hes like wait till Josh finds out.. well i start getting upset and i said its Kermit and hes like no at first but it turned out to be him.. and we dont get along periode.. soo.. i hung up on him and called josh crying.. and i dont kno hes like your to young for me... but i will always love you crap.. well thats when i loose it at about 10:30.. then hes like we can still be friends and such.. well.. i couldnt talk because i thought i was going to hypervinnalate.. from crying.. then got off with him after him saying he loved me and i told him that i will always love him since he is my one and only true love..
well called back Kermit and he said he was just joking and stuff and i went off on him.. i just remember saying the word fuck a bunch of times.. and i told lee the same.. after him saying that clarence told him all this stuff.. i kinda beleive lee because i guess hes trying to get me away from Josh because he doesnt want me staying with him anymore.. so well thats the end of Josh.. im not going back to him ever again.. after this..
I told mom everything last nite about me and josh.. that i stayed the weekends with him.. and stuff.. and mom took it okay.. and shes like this is your first heart break and she started calling him all the names that i shouldnt have herd.. lol.. i love my mom.. she gave me a big hug and shes like hes not worth it.. and then is like.. hes stupid if hes gonna beleive all his friends over the one he loves.. but mom was being so supportive.. even though i stayed up till like 6am crying over this.. then i had to put water proof mascara on today.. but last night i really thought i was going to loose it.. but i went across the street and talked to mary.. which helped too.. and i seriously dont kno what i would do without all of my friends like yall.. your soo good to me.. and i think yall..
but mom is cool with me.. im just glade i have someone to talk to now.. about this stuff.. besides friends.. well im going to go to bed..
we have 2 hour delay tomorrow.. and my road is flooded... so.. hopefully there will be no school.. i had to help mom with the fire dept. tonight like going and getting food and drinks and stuff for them.. and Shawn wasnt going to be able to get across the bridge to his house and mom was going to let him stay here.. awah that would have been great.. someone to talk to me and play the guitar for me and to cheer me up..