It's becoming increasingly clear that a definition I saw in a fricking /fantasy/ book - that of a person who thinks of everything in relationship to himself - Is actually something that exists
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...you have now irritated both Iain and myself to the point that we are considering either moving to another flat or asking you to leave and get Nikki to move in with us. Classically, you have completely glossed over a lot of the situation and made it about you and how OH GOD your flatmates are so mean and UNFAIR. FUCK YOU. If anyone is wrapped up in his own world it's you.
To put things in perspective, both of us are down with pretty horrible headcolds and have been taking meds and trying to sleep it off. Our sinuses are full and we have bad headaches. You do not seem aware of this despite the lemsip and painkillers strewn across the kitchen and the fact we are both sniffing and coughing our lungs up... and the fact I TOLD you when I shouted at you to be quiet.
I am a pretty heavy sleeper and am having trouble hearing due to blocked sinuses at the moment, so it says something that when I wake up to find you braying, cawing, hooting and giggling like a schoolgirl on helium, it drove through my head like a nail gun.
I stomped across the corridor and from outside your door I asked in a loud voice to be silent. This hurt my throat. Everything went quiet in your room. I move to turn away.
HOO-HOO-HOOO-EEHEHEHEHEHEHHE!
I turn round, knock twice and shout louder for you to PLEASE keep the noise down, Iain and I are both sleeping and are unwell. Silence. I turn back to my door.
BWAHAHAHA! OOHOOHOOHOO! NEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE!
It sounds like a donkey raping Daffy Duck in there. I shout louder this time. WOULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET DOUGLAS! WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP OFF A COLD! Silence. I wait. My throat hurts like fuck now. More silence. I walk back to my room.
I go ballistic and tell you to shut the fuck up at the top of my lungs.
The door finally opens.
"You could say please, you know."
"I DID. THREE TIMES. WE HAVE FUCKING COLDS. I CAN'T SHOUT ANY FUCKING LOUDER."
"Oh well, you should have knocked." Flounce, shut door.
At which point I go and cough my lungs into the sink and croak the episode to Iain over a lemsip. Iain expressed surprise I hadn't hauled off and knocked your teeth out.
So in conclusion Douglas, fuck you - you were making enough noise to wake two sick people dosed to the eyeballs on cold medication and are so caught up in masturbating over your online world that you can't hear someone yelling outside your bedroom door. Given the stupid noises you were making and the fact I have complained a dozen times during our time here about the noise you make, I'm perfectly within my rights to be rude from the outset by now. Next time I'll just kick your door and swear at you. The sooner we're shot of you, the better.
To put things in perspective, both of us are down with pretty horrible headcolds and have been taking meds and trying to sleep it off. Our sinuses are full and we have bad headaches. You do not seem aware of this despite the lemsip and painkillers strewn across the kitchen and the fact we are both sniffing and coughing our lungs up... and the fact I TOLD you when I shouted at you to be quiet.
I am a pretty heavy sleeper and am having trouble hearing due to blocked sinuses at the moment, so it says something that when I wake up to find you braying, cawing, hooting and giggling like a schoolgirl on helium, it drove through my head like a nail gun.
I stomped across the corridor and from outside your door I asked in a loud voice to be silent. This hurt my throat. Everything went quiet in your room. I move to turn away.
HOO-HOO-HOOO-EEHEHEHEHEHEHHE!
I turn round, knock twice and shout louder for you to PLEASE keep the noise down, Iain and I are both sleeping and are unwell. Silence. I turn back to my door.
BWAHAHAHA! OOHOOHOOHOO! NEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE!
It sounds like a donkey raping Daffy Duck in there. I shout louder this time. WOULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET DOUGLAS! WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP OFF A COLD!
Silence. I wait. My throat hurts like fuck now. More silence. I walk back to my room.
OOHOOHOOHOHHOOOHOOOHHOOO! WAHAHAHAHA! YEEHEEHEEHEEEHEEE! AAARFAAARFAAARFAAARF! HUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I go ballistic and tell you to shut the fuck up at the top of my lungs.
The door finally opens.
"You could say please, you know."
"I DID. THREE TIMES. WE HAVE FUCKING COLDS. I CAN'T SHOUT ANY FUCKING LOUDER."
"Oh well, you should have knocked." Flounce, shut door.
At which point I go and cough my lungs into the sink and croak the episode to Iain over a lemsip. Iain expressed surprise I hadn't hauled off and knocked your teeth out.
So in conclusion Douglas, fuck you - you were making enough noise to wake two sick people dosed to the eyeballs on cold medication and are so caught up in masturbating over your online world that you can't hear someone yelling outside your bedroom door. Given the stupid noises you were making and the fact I have complained a dozen times during our time here about the noise you make, I'm perfectly within my rights to be rude from the outset by now. Next time I'll just kick your door and swear at you. The sooner we're shot of you, the better.
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