The surprisingly frugal habits of extremely wealthy people
In which the author pretends that darning socks has anything to do with a billionaire being a billionaire,
and not that they had rich parents,
and spare funds that could sit around in 'investments' growing like the Blob,
and people whose sole job it is to figure out how to make sure they don't pay taxes on any of it.
The same old lies that the rich are rich because they pinch every penny,
when pinching pennies is a terrible way to save money (penny wise, pound foolish)
because quality costs (Terry Pratchett/Sam Vimes' now-internet famous boots theory)
and the actual pennies they're pinching aren't their own,
but from the paychecks of employees ($15 billion in wage theft annually in the US alone)
and public coffers (loss of taxes, subsidies, grants, 'loans' they don't have to pay back and didn't need in the first place).
Implying that the poor are poor because they don't know how to manage their money,
as if we're not wrangling bills and feeding families on wages that haven't gone up in decades
with price gouging excused as inflation
as everything gets more expensive
but also cheaper, less durable, less nutritious.
And meanwhile, the supposedly frugal and unsurprisingly unhelpful advice for the extremely unwealthy:
live like you're a billionaire who can whimsically brown-bag it.
Shop around!
As if you have the free time, funds and means to 'optimize' grocery shopping by investigating prices across town and throughout the week,
then selectively shop for certain things only in certain places at certain times -
assuming, of course, that there are even multiple options where you live in the first place.
Shop online!
Assuming you have a debit or credit card, and don't mind extra fees, shipping fees, membership fees,
trust that what you're buying is what you're getting and that you'll actually get what you've bought -
assuming, of course, that reliable delivery to your door is even a thing where you live in the first place.
Buy in bulk!
As if you've got money for a membership fee and to pay big up front to save down the line (see again: boots theory) -
assuming, of course, that you've got a roomy enough home to store 'bulk' anything in the first place.
Stop wasting your money!
For fucks' sake.
From the people who brought you "95% of homes have a refrigerator, so how poor can they be?"
comes the perennial the assumption that you're poor because you choose to be poor,
because you stopped grinding for a single second,
because you enjoyed a single thing about your life,
because you just blow your paycheck on useless shit -
on status items trying to look rich
and toys trying to live rich
and conveniences as if you're rich - Starbucks and avocado toast and Netflix and Uber
and anything that lets you forget for a single miserable second that you're not rich -
on heat when you could be wearing five layers of wool
and electricity when you could be darning your socks by warm, warm candlelight
and food when you've got this fabulous opportunity to lose weight right in front of you -
to save pounds as you shave pounds!
To remember that you're poor because you're supposed to be poor,
but the extremely wealthy will drive a used car in solidarity,
because it makes them feel like they're being responsible
without requiring them to ever acknowledge responsibility.
and not that they had rich parents,
and spare funds that could sit around in 'investments' growing like the Blob,
and people whose sole job it is to figure out how to make sure they don't pay taxes on any of it.
The same old lies that the rich are rich because they pinch every penny,
when pinching pennies is a terrible way to save money (penny wise, pound foolish)
because quality costs (Terry Pratchett/Sam Vimes' now-internet famous boots theory)
and the actual pennies they're pinching aren't their own,
but from the paychecks of employees ($15 billion in wage theft annually in the US alone)
and public coffers (loss of taxes, subsidies, grants, 'loans' they don't have to pay back and didn't need in the first place).
Implying that the poor are poor because they don't know how to manage their money,
as if we're not wrangling bills and feeding families on wages that haven't gone up in decades
with price gouging excused as inflation
as everything gets more expensive
but also cheaper, less durable, less nutritious.
And meanwhile, the supposedly frugal and unsurprisingly unhelpful advice for the extremely unwealthy:
live like you're a billionaire who can whimsically brown-bag it.
Shop around!
As if you have the free time, funds and means to 'optimize' grocery shopping by investigating prices across town and throughout the week,
then selectively shop for certain things only in certain places at certain times -
assuming, of course, that there are even multiple options where you live in the first place.
Shop online!
Assuming you have a debit or credit card, and don't mind extra fees, shipping fees, membership fees,
trust that what you're buying is what you're getting and that you'll actually get what you've bought -
assuming, of course, that reliable delivery to your door is even a thing where you live in the first place.
Buy in bulk!
As if you've got money for a membership fee and to pay big up front to save down the line (see again: boots theory) -
assuming, of course, that you've got a roomy enough home to store 'bulk' anything in the first place.
Stop wasting your money!
For fucks' sake.
From the people who brought you "95% of homes have a refrigerator, so how poor can they be?"
comes the perennial the assumption that you're poor because you choose to be poor,
because you stopped grinding for a single second,
because you enjoyed a single thing about your life,
because you just blow your paycheck on useless shit -
on status items trying to look rich
and toys trying to live rich
and conveniences as if you're rich - Starbucks and avocado toast and Netflix and Uber
and anything that lets you forget for a single miserable second that you're not rich -
on heat when you could be wearing five layers of wool
and electricity when you could be darning your socks by warm, warm candlelight
and food when you've got this fabulous opportunity to lose weight right in front of you -
to save pounds as you shave pounds!
To remember that you're poor because you're supposed to be poor,
but the extremely wealthy will drive a used car in solidarity,
because it makes them feel like they're being responsible
without requiring them to ever acknowledge responsibility.