[Dream] The deer women
Someone had sold me a large container full of deer carcasses, and I was in a hurry to get them butchered and in a freezer. It was a lot of meat, of dubious provenance, and I didn't have much time.
A few deer in, I found a woman, injured but alive, and hesitated.
Obviously, I knew should call 911. Obviously. But all my questionably legal, scene-of-the-crime meat, sitting there and spoiling while police poked around, waiting to get taken away...
Perhaps I could just get the deer out of the container first? The woman was irate (understandably) but I started pulling deer out, and uncovering more women, not all of them alive. I then reasoned I should be emptying the container to look for anyone else inside who was hurt - but I was lying to myself and I knew it.
The alarm woke me and I hit snooze, falling back into a half-dreaming state to mull the morality and ethics of it, knowing that my panic over the waste of the deer was completely unhinged, and my hesitation to act unconscionable...
Notes, details and explanations
#1. I had some herbal tea aimed at lucid dreaming before laying down - a mix of sleepy herbs and thinky herbs. The result wasn't quite lucidity-I wasn't consciously making decisions and directing the dream-but I was definitely more actively engaged than usual, in a critical way. It was almost like I was heckling a morality play in my own brain, and quasi-aware of that.
#2. I have no idea how to take apart a deer. The dream very conveniently skipped over all the details, and I am grateful.
#3. I had several things on my mind earlier in the day that seem to directly echo here.
First, I was anxious about having to throw out a lot of leftovers that had hit their too-late point. I've got issues about wasting food and money, in case it's not obvious.
Second, a scene from the TV show Hannibal in which a father and daughter talk about deer, except it's not really deer they're often hunting. "And we’re gonna honor every part of her. [...] Eating her is honoring her. Otherwise, it’s it’s just murder."
Third, hardcore pandemic anxiety (of course!) about the casual approach we're taking to the latest variant. Specifically, a doctor on PBS casually stating that because it's so contagious, this was going to be the way we got everybody immunized. This has me pissed, because it writes off a lot of people, and because the messaging last year was that every infection was an opportunity for it to mutate, and because we're well past the wishful thinking that it's a once-and-forever-done illness, so it seems to me this "oh well" attitude is really just going to be the way we get the next goddamn variant(s).
Put them in a pot to simmer, and...
#4. The relatives I was going to get together with over the holidays tested positive for COVID the morning of, so I dodged a bullet but feel bad for thinking about it as dodging a bullet - especially when it's a second infection for both of them.
#5. There's guilt here, obviously. At being OK when others aren't? At thinking of myself instead of others? Those are both pretty vague and generic, given the dream here.
A few deer in, I found a woman, injured but alive, and hesitated.
Obviously, I knew should call 911. Obviously. But all my questionably legal, scene-of-the-crime meat, sitting there and spoiling while police poked around, waiting to get taken away...
Perhaps I could just get the deer out of the container first? The woman was irate (understandably) but I started pulling deer out, and uncovering more women, not all of them alive. I then reasoned I should be emptying the container to look for anyone else inside who was hurt - but I was lying to myself and I knew it.
The alarm woke me and I hit snooze, falling back into a half-dreaming state to mull the morality and ethics of it, knowing that my panic over the waste of the deer was completely unhinged, and my hesitation to act unconscionable...
Notes, details and explanations
#1. I had some herbal tea aimed at lucid dreaming before laying down - a mix of sleepy herbs and thinky herbs. The result wasn't quite lucidity-I wasn't consciously making decisions and directing the dream-but I was definitely more actively engaged than usual, in a critical way. It was almost like I was heckling a morality play in my own brain, and quasi-aware of that.
#2. I have no idea how to take apart a deer. The dream very conveniently skipped over all the details, and I am grateful.
#3. I had several things on my mind earlier in the day that seem to directly echo here.
First, I was anxious about having to throw out a lot of leftovers that had hit their too-late point. I've got issues about wasting food and money, in case it's not obvious.
Second, a scene from the TV show Hannibal in which a father and daughter talk about deer, except it's not really deer they're often hunting. "And we’re gonna honor every part of her. [...] Eating her is honoring her. Otherwise, it’s it’s just murder."
Third, hardcore pandemic anxiety (of course!) about the casual approach we're taking to the latest variant. Specifically, a doctor on PBS casually stating that because it's so contagious, this was going to be the way we got everybody immunized. This has me pissed, because it writes off a lot of people, and because the messaging last year was that every infection was an opportunity for it to mutate, and because we're well past the wishful thinking that it's a once-and-forever-done illness, so it seems to me this "oh well" attitude is really just going to be the way we get the next goddamn variant(s).
Put them in a pot to simmer, and...
#4. The relatives I was going to get together with over the holidays tested positive for COVID the morning of, so I dodged a bullet but feel bad for thinking about it as dodging a bullet - especially when it's a second infection for both of them.
#5. There's guilt here, obviously. At being OK when others aren't? At thinking of myself instead of others? Those are both pretty vague and generic, given the dream here.