Picspam: The 15 Reasons To Accept that D-Wars is the best movie EVER.
Ok hold the phone, you're saying. First off what is D-Wars? Why haven't I ever heard of it? Isn't that the dude from Roswell? Why is he wearing bling? Is that a dino with a rocket launcher? How is this the best movie ever?
This picspam will answer all these questions and more. Get ready to take a magical journey into a movie so full of unintentional laughter that my sides hurt after watching.
The 15 Reasons To Accept That D-WARS is the Best Movie Ever!
First, a little background: pinkspots has been telling me for ages how D-Wars was the greatest movie of our or any time. But I was like "I don't believe that anything could be that bad!" So finally, we watched it. MY GOD. My life has never been the same.
Reason 1: The 70s called and they want your wardrobe back!
I know what you're thinking. "Oh but it's set in a Watchmen-like alternative universe where it's always the 70s and Nixon is still president!" No. No it's not. This is present day. AND YET THE MUSTARD JACKET CONTINUES TO EXIST. I really don't know what the worst crime against fashion is here. Is it the mustard blazer? That weird stripped shirt *paired* with the mustard blazer? Or is it, by chance, the fact that Jason Behr is sporting what can only be described as 70s porn hair? I have no idea. I can't choose. It's all just so terrible. He looks like an extra from Swingtown! It also kills me that he has that blazer is dark brown too. It's much less lol-worthy in the brown but still. The first one is so bad, why get multiples!?
Reason 2: See my BLING? I got it at Claire's! I will continue to wear it like a big girl all movie!
As we were watching the movie I just couldn't get over the fact that he would just wear his girly looking magical bling around all the time. But ok, fine, it makes him feel pretty. He started out wearing it underneath his shirt, where the ugliness couldn't burn my eyes. BUT THEN. Then he starts wearing it around like a regular necklace or, more appropriately, a Mr. T chain. THE WHOLE MOVIE HE WEARS IT. I couldn't stop laughing.
mojotastic: Wait....he's really just going to wear that necklace that he got at Claire's all movie?
pinkspots: Yes. Yes he is.
mojotastic: But how does anyone take him seriously wearing that necklace?! How are we susposed to take anything seriously when he's wearing something from the Jessica Simpson collection around his neck?
pinkspots: .......
mojotastic: Right. Forgot what I was watching.
Of course, later the necklace becomes ~magical~ and dazzles the shit out of everyone like it's made of Edward Cullen. Max has the necklace of a KILLA!
Reason 3: Papa Petrelli from Heroes continues to be a bad actor!
For anyone who's ever seen Heroes, it's not exactly a ~shock~ that this dude is a horrible actor. His hilariously bad monotone is much the same here as it was on Heroes. Only now he's playing a guy that owns a magical pawn shop where Jason Behr's father is trying to pawn something. Probably so he can afford to buy Jason Behr some era-appropriate clothing?
But THEN! Papa Petrelli does this weird crazy bug eyed thing and is like "LOL OH NOES I'M DYING" and Jason Behr's father is like "I will get you medical attention if you give me a better price!" And Papa Petrelli is like "LOL OK GET ME SOME HERBS DON'T CALL THE DOCTOR! I SWEAR I'M NOT FAKING JUST TO BE ALONE, CREEPILY WITH YOUR YOUNG SON!" And so Jason Behr's father leaves his son with this random creepy pawn shop dude. I'm not joking. He's like "Wow! You'll give me that much? Cool! You can have my son, I didn't like him that much anyway!" Apparently he went to the Rufus Humphrey school of parenting.
So after he gets rid of the kid's dad he proceeds to tell him this long, involved story. I will get to that in a second. What's important here is that when he starts telling the story, they're just sitting on that bench talking. When he finishes telling the story HE HAS A BOWL OF SOUP. So somewhere, in the midst of telling that story he got up, found a kitchen in that dank warehouse, made himself some soup (just for himself! None for the little boy!) and then sat back down preparing for the flashback to end. OMG THE LULZ! I love how he just sips the soup too and the little boy is looking at him like 'You're such an asshole'.
Reason 4: Flashbacks within flashbacks with flashforwards within the flashbacks!
So after Jason Behr (his character has a name. I don't remember it so he will be either Jason Behr or MAXXX for this picspam) sees a ~mysterious~ dragon scale he has a flashback to his childhood. THIS IS WHEN THE MANY FLASHBACKS BEGIN. I have put a flashback count because it is important to remember how many flashbacks we are at in any current moment.
So he opens some box that contains the essence of Edward Cullen and it dazzles the shit out of him. So then creepy pawn shop dude begins to tell him a story about Korea and suddenly WE ARE IN ANOTHER FLASHBACK. Within the flashback we're already in. It's a flashback within a flashback bbs!
Except we're not done! Because the flashback within a flashback starts when Jason Behr's former asian self was a little bb and then FLASHFORWARDS to when he was older and in ~lurve~. So now for all those playing at home we have a flashforward within a flashback within a flashback.
Origins of the Claire's broach! It is important and meaningful and has magical powers. Or it was on sale for %50 off. I don't really remember. ALSO pay special attention to the canon. This is what the palace guards have. Era-appropriate weapons. The dinos however...
HAVE BAZOOKAS! (Which I realize I spelled wrong on the picture but I'm too lazy to redo or try and fix it. So they also have bazooks! Which is maybe the medieval variety of bazookas? WHO KNOWS?)
So Ye!Olde!Asian!Jason Behr decides to save the girl instead of letting her turn into a dragon and there's this pretty shot before they jump off a cliff together Thelma and Louise style. ALSO! Broach gets more airtime than most of the rest of the cast.
Reason 5: LOLOL INSERT KOREAN THINGS HERE!
So this movie was either adapted from a Korean movie or based off a Korean legend. But besides the lulz inherent in hearing the whitest white people try to pronounce Korean names there is also the lulz of random Korean things popping up in the movie. Our heroine just happens to have a random book full of asian symbol in her kitchen utensil drawer! (I guess this helps with cooking? 'What the next ingredient? Butterfly, happy, life! Got it!")Then she goes crazy and puts the pages of the book all over the wall.
Except as far as I can tell there isn't any actual Korean on the pages? LOL! I honestly don't know much about Korean besides what I've learned from Full House and other dramas. But I know a bit about Japanese and that looks like some kanji to me. If their former selves were Korean why did they write with Chinese characters? Oh movie.
Reason 6: Cars + Ninja= OTP?
So Ninja is just walking along, minding his own business and BAM! Car! It's amazingly funny.
As is the reaction from Jason Behr and his friend Daryl (He also has a real name in the movie but I have no idea what. So I'm going with his name from The Office.) LOOK at Daryl's face in that second cap. AMAZING!
So then Ninja gets pissed and turns into SUPER NINJA! ....which just means he gets a badass helmet. So THEN as they are fighting?
NINJA GETS HIT AGAIN BY ANOTHER CAR! LOLOLLOLOLOL! This is really just not Ninja's day.
Reason 7: Random Gun is Random!
So after running over Ninja, Daryl just PULLS A PIECE out of his glove compartment. There is so much lulz. Why would a reporter/someone who works in a newsroom need to carry a gun in their glove compartment? I feel like we're missing a whole subplot where Daryl is secretly a gun enthusiast and subscribes to Guns and Ammo.
(ETA: It has just been brought to my attention that I called the glove compartment the GLOVER compartment. This is clearly a Freudian slip on my part caused by too much love for John Glover and his magnificent hair.)
So after the gun doesn't work on Ninja, Daryl then tries to karate chop him! It's hilarious.
Later, Daryl gives the gun to Jason Behr and says "You need this more than I do". O_O Why did you need it in the first place?! I want this whole movie to be about Daryl and his secret life fighting crime like Rorschach!
Reason 8: The truly ~deep~ love story! Which happens entirely in one scene!
Seriously. The whole ~romance~ happens in ONE SCENE. Jason Behr thinks thinky thoughts and Dragon Girl is all "This sucks! What is happening! The world is madness! Madness I say!" And Jason Behr is like "You're right bb!" And then they stare at each other. Then they make out.
BUT! Hilarity alert!: As they make out Jason Behr goes "If she's really the (insert Korean name here) I'll probably have to kill her. LOLz! Sucks for her!" I'm not even exaggerating. No wonder when pinkspots and I went to rent this movie we found it had been rented out on Valentine's Day. It's so ~romantic~.
Reason 9: The main couple really cares about their friends. They almost feel bad as they continually leave them to die!
So this girl folding clothes is Dragon Girl's BFF. She tries to cheer Dragon Girl's emo ass up. She deals with Dragon Girl's crazy. She is even getting an overnight bag ready for Dragon Girl because she's at the hospital. And sure, ok, she's about to have sex on Dragon Girl's bed. But whatever. At least she cares. Which of course means that she gets eaten by a giant lizard/snake and Dragon Girl NEVER EVER mentions her again or wonders what happened to her. Ah. Friendship.
Speaking of BFF 4 L, we meet another of Jason Behr's friends who is conveintly some sort of brain scientist and hypnotherapist. I can only assume that they befriended each other over their love of tacky necklaces. Like I imagine scientist friend saw Jason Behr and his Claire's necklace and was like "Girl! That necklace is fierce!" And thus a beautiful frienship was formed.
So Dragon Girl has some flashbacks (yay flashbacks!) and speaks in tongues and shit. As this is happening the lizard/snake thing is crawling it's way up onto poor, unsuspecting Scientist Dude's house.
As the house begins to crumble the main couple jump over the couch right in front of Scientist Dude and run away. Never do they say "Hey! A Giant SnakeLizard is about to demolish your house!" Nope. They just abandon poor Scientist Dude.
Who is then, I can only assume, smashed in his house. Thanks assholes. In the meantime, Daryl has gone back to work although he has a concussion from when the main couple left him unconscious on the side of the road with Ninja.
Reason 10: NINJA!!
Ninja is hands down the best thing about this movie. And before you say "Hey, is that guy really a ninja?" Whatever he's dressed all in black and it's super fun to shout NINJA! at the screen at appropriate moments. He will forever be Ninja to me. So, Ninja is awesome and commands armies and blows ship up just because he feels like it and dresses in a police uniform and chokes people. But the number one reason Ninja is awesome is this scene:
First off? Look at Ninja's face as he walks down the street! I'm surprised he's not whistling and skipping. Then he phases right through the fence in front of Old Lady and she's like "The fuck?" So she proceeds to walk RIGHT into the fence and then looks puzzled. It's hilarious and it's even better because there is absolutely no reason for this scene to exist. Like...none at all. But it does and it is glorious and so I attempted to make a gif of it but I'm not skilled in the art of gifs but...you get the idea. It's SO AWESOME.
Reason 11: Anything can be a language as long as it has subtitles! Even gibberish!
So Ninja, when he's in full Ninja gear with helmet, talks in a garbled gibberish that makes Batman's voice sound clear and understandable. I have no idea what he's saying. At first I thought he was speaking deep, growly Korean but I really don't think he is. In fact, I don't think he's speaking any language at all. I think he's just making noises and the movie just subtitles it as language. Which is SO FUNNY. At one point at the end of the movie he goes "AUGGGHHHHHH!!" and the subtitles have a WHOLE SENTENCE. For one sound. LOL!
Reason 12: Dinos with rocket launchers!
Why do dinos have rocket launchers? I have no idea. Maybe dinos always had rocket launchers and bazookas and we just never knew it? I mean, D-WARS wouldn't lie to us would it?
Reason 13: The heroine turns into a straight up thug!
So randomly, Dragon Girl decides that the way to beat a giant LizardSnake that the military can't handle that just killed their helicopter is to shoot it in the face with that little gun. But what's even more hilarious is the way that she's holding the gun and screaming at it all "How do you like me now, sucka?!"
Reason 14: The heroine then turns into a DRAGON!
In what is probably one of the most unintentionally lulzy parts in this movie, the heroine deccides it's time to become a dragon to save Jason Behr (and possibly humanity? Who knows?)
So she does this weird Sailor Moon pose and then shoots her soul over to the good SnakeLizard...
...who then EATS IT! BWAHAHA! Yum! So then with the power of Dragon Girl the SnakeLizard becomes a full out Dragon marking this as the first effing dragon we've really seen in all of DRAGON WARS.
So after Dragon wins the epic battle he SPITS HER SOUL OUT like a hairball! LOL! This allows Dragon Girl to like briefly stroke Jason Behr's face....and then DIE AGAIN. WTF what was even the point of that?
Except then she turns into glowly mist and reforms into a glowly mist CGI Dragon Girl! Who is like "I will love you forever! Those two seconds we spent together on the beach were awesome! Sucks we never got to do it! BAI!"
AND THEN THE DRAGON EATS HER UP AGAIN! LOLOL! Except as it flies away it sheds one emo tear that I could not get a good cap of but believe me it's pretty funny.
Reason 15: Jason Behr is left in Hell! And is totes ok with it!
So his true love Dragon Girl (just Dragon now I guess) flies away dramatically. LEAVING HIM ALL ALONE IN HELL WITH NO WAY OUT. And instead of being like "Oh noes! What will I do!?" Jason Behr is like "Awesome. I think I'll build me a house right by that empty crater across from that vast wasteland of nothingness!" WTF? Good luck finding food and water! Good luck finding another Claire's so you can replace your broach! BE A LITTLE CONCERNED MAN!
- Please don't steal or hotlink my caps. I have no idea why you would as I'm not aware of a huge D-WARS fandom. But still. If you hotlink photobucket will be mean to me and I will be sad.
- Enjoy the picspam!
This picspam will answer all these questions and more. Get ready to take a magical journey into a movie so full of unintentional laughter that my sides hurt after watching.
The 15 Reasons To Accept That D-WARS is the Best Movie Ever!
First, a little background: pinkspots has been telling me for ages how D-Wars was the greatest movie of our or any time. But I was like "I don't believe that anything could be that bad!" So finally, we watched it. MY GOD. My life has never been the same.
Reason 1: The 70s called and they want your wardrobe back!
I know what you're thinking. "Oh but it's set in a Watchmen-like alternative universe where it's always the 70s and Nixon is still president!" No. No it's not. This is present day. AND YET THE MUSTARD JACKET CONTINUES TO EXIST. I really don't know what the worst crime against fashion is here. Is it the mustard blazer? That weird stripped shirt *paired* with the mustard blazer? Or is it, by chance, the fact that Jason Behr is sporting what can only be described as 70s porn hair? I have no idea. I can't choose. It's all just so terrible. He looks like an extra from Swingtown! It also kills me that he has that blazer is dark brown too. It's much less lol-worthy in the brown but still. The first one is so bad, why get multiples!?
Reason 2: See my BLING? I got it at Claire's! I will continue to wear it like a big girl all movie!
As we were watching the movie I just couldn't get over the fact that he would just wear his girly looking magical bling around all the time. But ok, fine, it makes him feel pretty. He started out wearing it underneath his shirt, where the ugliness couldn't burn my eyes. BUT THEN. Then he starts wearing it around like a regular necklace or, more appropriately, a Mr. T chain. THE WHOLE MOVIE HE WEARS IT. I couldn't stop laughing.
mojotastic: Wait....he's really just going to wear that necklace that he got at Claire's all movie?
pinkspots: Yes. Yes he is.
mojotastic: But how does anyone take him seriously wearing that necklace?! How are we susposed to take anything seriously when he's wearing something from the Jessica Simpson collection around his neck?
pinkspots: .......
mojotastic: Right. Forgot what I was watching.
Of course, later the necklace becomes ~magical~ and dazzles the shit out of everyone like it's made of Edward Cullen. Max has the necklace of a KILLA!
Reason 3: Papa Petrelli from Heroes continues to be a bad actor!
For anyone who's ever seen Heroes, it's not exactly a ~shock~ that this dude is a horrible actor. His hilariously bad monotone is much the same here as it was on Heroes. Only now he's playing a guy that owns a magical pawn shop where Jason Behr's father is trying to pawn something. Probably so he can afford to buy Jason Behr some era-appropriate clothing?
But THEN! Papa Petrelli does this weird crazy bug eyed thing and is like "LOL OH NOES I'M DYING" and Jason Behr's father is like "I will get you medical attention if you give me a better price!" And Papa Petrelli is like "LOL OK GET ME SOME HERBS DON'T CALL THE DOCTOR! I SWEAR I'M NOT FAKING JUST TO BE ALONE, CREEPILY WITH YOUR YOUNG SON!" And so Jason Behr's father leaves his son with this random creepy pawn shop dude. I'm not joking. He's like "Wow! You'll give me that much? Cool! You can have my son, I didn't like him that much anyway!" Apparently he went to the Rufus Humphrey school of parenting.
So after he gets rid of the kid's dad he proceeds to tell him this long, involved story. I will get to that in a second. What's important here is that when he starts telling the story, they're just sitting on that bench talking. When he finishes telling the story HE HAS A BOWL OF SOUP. So somewhere, in the midst of telling that story he got up, found a kitchen in that dank warehouse, made himself some soup (just for himself! None for the little boy!) and then sat back down preparing for the flashback to end. OMG THE LULZ! I love how he just sips the soup too and the little boy is looking at him like 'You're such an asshole'.
Reason 4: Flashbacks within flashbacks with flashforwards within the flashbacks!
So after Jason Behr (his character has a name. I don't remember it so he will be either Jason Behr or MAXXX for this picspam) sees a ~mysterious~ dragon scale he has a flashback to his childhood. THIS IS WHEN THE MANY FLASHBACKS BEGIN. I have put a flashback count because it is important to remember how many flashbacks we are at in any current moment.
So he opens some box that contains the essence of Edward Cullen and it dazzles the shit out of him. So then creepy pawn shop dude begins to tell him a story about Korea and suddenly WE ARE IN ANOTHER FLASHBACK. Within the flashback we're already in. It's a flashback within a flashback bbs!
Except we're not done! Because the flashback within a flashback starts when Jason Behr's former asian self was a little bb and then FLASHFORWARDS to when he was older and in ~lurve~. So now for all those playing at home we have a flashforward within a flashback within a flashback.
Origins of the Claire's broach! It is important and meaningful and has magical powers. Or it was on sale for %50 off. I don't really remember. ALSO pay special attention to the canon. This is what the palace guards have. Era-appropriate weapons. The dinos however...
HAVE BAZOOKAS! (Which I realize I spelled wrong on the picture but I'm too lazy to redo or try and fix it. So they also have bazooks! Which is maybe the medieval variety of bazookas? WHO KNOWS?)
So Ye!Olde!Asian!Jason Behr decides to save the girl instead of letting her turn into a dragon and there's this pretty shot before they jump off a cliff together Thelma and Louise style. ALSO! Broach gets more airtime than most of the rest of the cast.
Reason 5: LOLOL INSERT KOREAN THINGS HERE!
So this movie was either adapted from a Korean movie or based off a Korean legend. But besides the lulz inherent in hearing the whitest white people try to pronounce Korean names there is also the lulz of random Korean things popping up in the movie. Our heroine just happens to have a random book full of asian symbol in her kitchen utensil drawer! (I guess this helps with cooking? 'What the next ingredient? Butterfly, happy, life! Got it!")Then she goes crazy and puts the pages of the book all over the wall.
Except as far as I can tell there isn't any actual Korean on the pages? LOL! I honestly don't know much about Korean besides what I've learned from Full House and other dramas. But I know a bit about Japanese and that looks like some kanji to me. If their former selves were Korean why did they write with Chinese characters? Oh movie.
Reason 6: Cars + Ninja= OTP?
So Ninja is just walking along, minding his own business and BAM! Car! It's amazingly funny.
As is the reaction from Jason Behr and his friend Daryl (He also has a real name in the movie but I have no idea what. So I'm going with his name from The Office.) LOOK at Daryl's face in that second cap. AMAZING!
So then Ninja gets pissed and turns into SUPER NINJA! ....which just means he gets a badass helmet. So THEN as they are fighting?
NINJA GETS HIT AGAIN BY ANOTHER CAR! LOLOLLOLOLOL! This is really just not Ninja's day.
Reason 7: Random Gun is Random!
So after running over Ninja, Daryl just PULLS A PIECE out of his glove compartment. There is so much lulz. Why would a reporter/someone who works in a newsroom need to carry a gun in their glove compartment? I feel like we're missing a whole subplot where Daryl is secretly a gun enthusiast and subscribes to Guns and Ammo.
(ETA: It has just been brought to my attention that I called the glove compartment the GLOVER compartment. This is clearly a Freudian slip on my part caused by too much love for John Glover and his magnificent hair.)
So after the gun doesn't work on Ninja, Daryl then tries to karate chop him! It's hilarious.
Later, Daryl gives the gun to Jason Behr and says "You need this more than I do". O_O Why did you need it in the first place?! I want this whole movie to be about Daryl and his secret life fighting crime like Rorschach!
Reason 8: The truly ~deep~ love story! Which happens entirely in one scene!
Seriously. The whole ~romance~ happens in ONE SCENE. Jason Behr thinks thinky thoughts and Dragon Girl is all "This sucks! What is happening! The world is madness! Madness I say!" And Jason Behr is like "You're right bb!" And then they stare at each other. Then they make out.
BUT! Hilarity alert!: As they make out Jason Behr goes "If she's really the (insert Korean name here) I'll probably have to kill her. LOLz! Sucks for her!" I'm not even exaggerating. No wonder when pinkspots and I went to rent this movie we found it had been rented out on Valentine's Day. It's so ~romantic~.
Reason 9: The main couple really cares about their friends. They almost feel bad as they continually leave them to die!
So this girl folding clothes is Dragon Girl's BFF. She tries to cheer Dragon Girl's emo ass up. She deals with Dragon Girl's crazy. She is even getting an overnight bag ready for Dragon Girl because she's at the hospital. And sure, ok, she's about to have sex on Dragon Girl's bed. But whatever. At least she cares. Which of course means that she gets eaten by a giant lizard/snake and Dragon Girl NEVER EVER mentions her again or wonders what happened to her. Ah. Friendship.
Speaking of BFF 4 L, we meet another of Jason Behr's friends who is conveintly some sort of brain scientist and hypnotherapist. I can only assume that they befriended each other over their love of tacky necklaces. Like I imagine scientist friend saw Jason Behr and his Claire's necklace and was like "Girl! That necklace is fierce!" And thus a beautiful frienship was formed.
So Dragon Girl has some flashbacks (yay flashbacks!) and speaks in tongues and shit. As this is happening the lizard/snake thing is crawling it's way up onto poor, unsuspecting Scientist Dude's house.
As the house begins to crumble the main couple jump over the couch right in front of Scientist Dude and run away. Never do they say "Hey! A Giant SnakeLizard is about to demolish your house!" Nope. They just abandon poor Scientist Dude.
Who is then, I can only assume, smashed in his house. Thanks assholes. In the meantime, Daryl has gone back to work although he has a concussion from when the main couple left him unconscious on the side of the road with Ninja.
Reason 10: NINJA!!
Ninja is hands down the best thing about this movie. And before you say "Hey, is that guy really a ninja?" Whatever he's dressed all in black and it's super fun to shout NINJA! at the screen at appropriate moments. He will forever be Ninja to me. So, Ninja is awesome and commands armies and blows ship up just because he feels like it and dresses in a police uniform and chokes people. But the number one reason Ninja is awesome is this scene:
First off? Look at Ninja's face as he walks down the street! I'm surprised he's not whistling and skipping. Then he phases right through the fence in front of Old Lady and she's like "The fuck?" So she proceeds to walk RIGHT into the fence and then looks puzzled. It's hilarious and it's even better because there is absolutely no reason for this scene to exist. Like...none at all. But it does and it is glorious and so I attempted to make a gif of it but I'm not skilled in the art of gifs but...you get the idea. It's SO AWESOME.
Reason 11: Anything can be a language as long as it has subtitles! Even gibberish!
So Ninja, when he's in full Ninja gear with helmet, talks in a garbled gibberish that makes Batman's voice sound clear and understandable. I have no idea what he's saying. At first I thought he was speaking deep, growly Korean but I really don't think he is. In fact, I don't think he's speaking any language at all. I think he's just making noises and the movie just subtitles it as language. Which is SO FUNNY. At one point at the end of the movie he goes "AUGGGHHHHHH!!" and the subtitles have a WHOLE SENTENCE. For one sound. LOL!
Reason 12: Dinos with rocket launchers!
Why do dinos have rocket launchers? I have no idea. Maybe dinos always had rocket launchers and bazookas and we just never knew it? I mean, D-WARS wouldn't lie to us would it?
Reason 13: The heroine turns into a straight up thug!
So randomly, Dragon Girl decides that the way to beat a giant LizardSnake that the military can't handle that just killed their helicopter is to shoot it in the face with that little gun. But what's even more hilarious is the way that she's holding the gun and screaming at it all "How do you like me now, sucka?!"
Reason 14: The heroine then turns into a DRAGON!
In what is probably one of the most unintentionally lulzy parts in this movie, the heroine deccides it's time to become a dragon to save Jason Behr (and possibly humanity? Who knows?)
So she does this weird Sailor Moon pose and then shoots her soul over to the good SnakeLizard...
...who then EATS IT! BWAHAHA! Yum! So then with the power of Dragon Girl the SnakeLizard becomes a full out Dragon marking this as the first effing dragon we've really seen in all of DRAGON WARS.
So after Dragon wins the epic battle he SPITS HER SOUL OUT like a hairball! LOL! This allows Dragon Girl to like briefly stroke Jason Behr's face....and then DIE AGAIN. WTF what was even the point of that?
Except then she turns into glowly mist and reforms into a glowly mist CGI Dragon Girl! Who is like "I will love you forever! Those two seconds we spent together on the beach were awesome! Sucks we never got to do it! BAI!"
AND THEN THE DRAGON EATS HER UP AGAIN! LOLOL! Except as it flies away it sheds one emo tear that I could not get a good cap of but believe me it's pretty funny.
Reason 15: Jason Behr is left in Hell! And is totes ok with it!
So his true love Dragon Girl (just Dragon now I guess) flies away dramatically. LEAVING HIM ALL ALONE IN HELL WITH NO WAY OUT. And instead of being like "Oh noes! What will I do!?" Jason Behr is like "Awesome. I think I'll build me a house right by that empty crater across from that vast wasteland of nothingness!" WTF? Good luck finding food and water! Good luck finding another Claire's so you can replace your broach! BE A LITTLE CONCERNED MAN!
- Please don't steal or hotlink my caps. I have no idea why you would as I'm not aware of a huge D-WARS fandom. But still. If you hotlink photobucket will be mean to me and I will be sad.
- Enjoy the picspam!