(no subject)
I've always felt as though some things in this world were undeniably connected, whether it be the moon's affect on the waves of the distant Indian Ocean or the hard work of a termite which destroys the foundation of a home. There has always been a feeling of bondedness for every minutia of quantitative and qualitative matter in this vast space of time. But what scares me more than anything is when I am revealed those things which make me know that this connection is much stronger than I think. I've written about this before but, as I grow and mature, this "gift" gets more pronouced, stronger. Since I was little I can recall feeling things, wanting to know what people felt and being able to do so - to an extent. It wasn't so much an actual though let alone conversation. But I get these feelings that become so overwhelming that I have to call attention to them. Like if someone in my immediate presence gets a feeling, any feeling, and it is intense, I can usually pick up on it immediately. Adversely, in a crowded room of people, if I'm not engaged in intense conversation, I fall prey to the emotions of so many people that it becomes too much. I get migraines and need to leave the space. Attached to this "gift" is the ability to scope the future. For instance, I randomly got this overwhelming feeling that my mother and babycakes were gonna get large sums of money dropped in their laps. No more than a week later, it came to pass. Freaked me out! I told them about the feelings way before any money came - because I needed them to know that my feelings were real and true. I also recently prayed about a job for my friend. While sitting at work, I got a great feeling about it - like she had acquired the job. Sure enough, she wrote me that she had the job. Now with this background, I need you to know that today I had the worse feeling ever. I dare not put it up on lj because the person who it involves reads it. What am I to do? To know that there is sooo much work to be put in in order to make the future a combined success. I'm just not willing to do so. I know you guys have no idea about what I am talking, but just know that I had a revelation/vibe/premonition (whatever you'd like to call it) and I think one fear of my fears will stare me in the face.
Ugh. I'm not scared though. I just don't wanna hurt. The interesting thing is that you have the power to change the outcome of these feelings. I just hope I am strong enough and ready to do what I have to do.
Pray for my strength.
Ugh. I'm not scared though. I just don't wanna hurt. The interesting thing is that you have the power to change the outcome of these feelings. I just hope I am strong enough and ready to do what I have to do.
Pray for my strength.