The Night is Dark and Full of Turnips, Part 1
By Popular Demand, ADwD Re-read, Part 1
("Popular Demand" = 2 "Sure, why not?" lj comments and a third by phone)
So, here we go, an exploration of "Why This is the First book in ASOIAF that I Don't LIke", and/or "My Giving This Book A second Chance."
This is gonna be kinda rushed, cause I really do have other things to do, and more importantly, I have to give this book back to the library soon, and I don't like it enough to wanna pay late fees.
Below, you will encounter spoilers aplenty. Partly because I don't see how to discuss this without them, and partly because it's the fifth book of a series, so if you haven't read the ones before, of course there will be spoilers.
Prologue--When I first read this, my primary thought was "Get me out of this sick-fuck character's head!!!" My secondary thought was "Please God Make This Horrible Person Die Horribly Already." My other thought was "Martin is making a serious mistake starting the book off this way."
In retrospect, it was a mistake only as far as readers like me are concerned. Clearly, most people loved this book, so, not a mistake. For those who don't know, the book starts out in the head of a wilding warg. A really, really disgusting wilding warg. He reminisces a lot about killing and raping and forcibly possessing men and animals against their will. None of this really advances the plot in any way, at least in this book. The one good thing is that he dies. Sort of. There's this poor wolf that gets stuck with sicko's soul sharing his head. That is a truly horrific thought. Asking me to reread this is like asking me to give "House of a 1,000 Corpses" a second try. It ain't happening. So, there, you have a first impression remembered from a while back. The one thing I had to do is see how many pages it took. It ended on page 15. That's way shorter than I remembered it being. Which has to be counted as a plus. Now on to the actual parts of the book I'm actually rereading. Maybe they will be better without having the taste of this prologue sliming my brain.
Ch 1- Tyrion - Okay, despite his horde of flaws, I used to both like and pity Tyrion. Plus, he killed Tywin! Yay! Tywin is right up there in contention for my personal "most hated character", in a series full of more truly hatable characters than possibly anything I have ever read. Between that and pity for the rest of his horribly miserable life, I'm willing to excuse Tyrion a lot more than I would most characters. This chapter has the advantage of seeing Tywin get killed again, in Tyrions memories. I heartily approve. Anyway, Tyrion is drunk, and his head isn't a pleasant place, either. Mostly cause he is soooo traumatized that he killed one of the worst fathers in the history of literature (also, see: Roose Bolton, Kraster, Randally Tarley) We meet Illyrio again. I don't like him either. You'd think Tyrion would be celebrating his triumph over the complete scumbag who has done nothing but make his life miserable as far back as he'd remember, but no, more than anything else in his life full of trauma, killing Daddy dearest traumatizes poor Tyrion. ... ... ... ...
Oh, screw it, I think I can sum up why I hate this chapter, and why I was yet again thinking "Get me out of this sick-fuck character's head" fairly early:
Ilyrio: "Choose from amongst my servingwomen,. None will dare refuse you."
& later, Tyrion, speaking to the poor girl who clearly has no choice in the matter and is offering to sleep with him:
"No, I am done with women." The girl took that disappointment too well for his liking.
"I believe I have changed my mind. Keep your mouth shut and your thighs open and the two of us should get on splendidly."
Okay, kiddies, remember this: Rape is a sign that the rapist is a sad, traumatized person deserving of much sympathy. Or, at least, that if something bad happens that scars you, rape is a more or less defensible reaction. Or, maybe, fucking someone you know doesn't want to fuck you but will probably be tortured and killed if she says no is not rape, cause she offers like she's told. Pick one. Gee, why did I hate this book again? NOT A GOOD START.
(okay, I'm not sure we see Tyrion actually sleep with the girl, but there's stuff later that disinclines me to give him the benefit of the doubt, and really, this is the sort of thing there's really no good reason not to make clear, so major badness no matter how you look at it)
Also, lesson learned: People will forgive guys they like if said guys commit rape. Cause really, not that big of a deal. Oh, wait, I'm being silly. This is fiction, and has no impact on real life ever, and also, things like that would never happen in real life, that friends/family/fans side with the rapist. So, I figure I have a free pass to hate on the book as much as I want for the rest of the way, but I'm really going to try hard to ignore this part as much as possible, except when further Tyrion chapters make it impossible.)
Ch 2 - Dany. Dany rules Mereen. Her supporters keep being killed by fans of the old regime. People keep showing up to tell her how much they love her and why she should go back to the grand old days of slavery and evil like' the people she just replaced. Dude brings burned child bones and says one of her dragons munched his kid.
Dany is one of my favorite characters, and I sympathize and empathize with her a lot in the first 3 books. I'm also fond of Barristan Selmy. And Grey Worm. But I am not loving this chapter. Partly I'm kinda overdosing on grim and depressing at this point. Partly there seems to be a "good-hearted people are naive, stupid and helpless" theme going down in Mereen, which irritates me. Yes, I know, Dany is just a young girl, etc, but her lack of imaginative problem solving in this book baffles me, and seems to run counter to her past boldness. And Selmy apparently just completely failed to progress beyond the Eddard Stark School of Politics (and, in fact, is rather more passive and naive that Ned ever was) despite living 60 years in two different nests of vipers. So, um, yeah. Sorta over authorial stacking the deck in a way that doesn't work for me,whatever the purpose might be. Also, I'm thinking the dragon is being set up, cause, ummm, why/how did Drogon eat the kid but not the bones? But am not sure. Maybe the father followed the dragon and dug through the excrement. That would be pretty typical of this book, actually. I'm almost surprised we didn't get a detailed scene. Which makes me again think "set up." Anyway, I want the dragons to start eating all the adults, or at least the vast majority of adults that I really don't like. That would make this book a lot better. (yes, I know, this goes under heading of "be careful what you wish for", thus my caveat.
Ch 3 - Jon. I LIKED THIS CHAPTER. I just thought you all should know that. What I liked about the previous books in this series, is still here. This chapter rocked. No complaints. I would extol its virtues, but, hey, running out of time.
What happened: Stannis still at wall. Jon still in command of Night's Watch. Sam still there. While the existence of a Stannis fan on my f-list is not nearly so strange as the existence of sufficient swarms of Littlefinger fans to make him the 10th most popular character in an online survey (gee, why do I avoid this fandom again? I think there's a clue there)(if there are Ramsey Bolton fans out there, please no one tell me, okay? Unless they friend me or start commenting here; then I need to know), I still don't comprehend how Stannis is one of anybody's favorite characters. Explanations welcome. Aftermath of battle with wildings. People argue. Melisandre says "You know nothing, Jon Snow."
Ch 4 - Bran - I liked this chapter, too, if not as much. Very bleak, but well done. Except the sudden presence of the wolf with the prologue character inside. I am sure this will prove significant in some later book, but for now, no. We just get to see Summer trounce him and piss on him. I'm sure this will matter sometime before the end of the series. And Martin doesn't seem to really get animals. His super-wolves have an amazing lack of personality. But, otherwise, I like everyone, and they are all behaving in ways that I can buy, the scenes are interesting, and the writing is good, and the bleak is not disgusting. So yay. Oh, what happened: It is cold. Bran, Summer, Meera, Jojen, Hodor, a big elk and DeadRanger are trekking northward to meet Bran's future mentor. It is cold. They are tired, cold, and low on food. It is very cold.
And we're at page 70. I feel bad for such abbreviated descriptions, like, almost pointless, but, hey, time constraints. I shall need to pick up the pace and try to up the analytical quotient later on. My actual reread is about halfway through the book right now, but I'm going to *try* to do a chapter by chapter thingy. I have to work some this weekend, and am sick, and "turn book in" deadline looms in about 10 days. This will be a race as much as a reread.
("Popular Demand" = 2 "Sure, why not?" lj comments and a third by phone)
So, here we go, an exploration of "Why This is the First book in ASOIAF that I Don't LIke", and/or "My Giving This Book A second Chance."
This is gonna be kinda rushed, cause I really do have other things to do, and more importantly, I have to give this book back to the library soon, and I don't like it enough to wanna pay late fees.
Below, you will encounter spoilers aplenty. Partly because I don't see how to discuss this without them, and partly because it's the fifth book of a series, so if you haven't read the ones before, of course there will be spoilers.
Prologue--When I first read this, my primary thought was "Get me out of this sick-fuck character's head!!!" My secondary thought was "Please God Make This Horrible Person Die Horribly Already." My other thought was "Martin is making a serious mistake starting the book off this way."
In retrospect, it was a mistake only as far as readers like me are concerned. Clearly, most people loved this book, so, not a mistake. For those who don't know, the book starts out in the head of a wilding warg. A really, really disgusting wilding warg. He reminisces a lot about killing and raping and forcibly possessing men and animals against their will. None of this really advances the plot in any way, at least in this book. The one good thing is that he dies. Sort of. There's this poor wolf that gets stuck with sicko's soul sharing his head. That is a truly horrific thought. Asking me to reread this is like asking me to give "House of a 1,000 Corpses" a second try. It ain't happening. So, there, you have a first impression remembered from a while back. The one thing I had to do is see how many pages it took. It ended on page 15. That's way shorter than I remembered it being. Which has to be counted as a plus. Now on to the actual parts of the book I'm actually rereading. Maybe they will be better without having the taste of this prologue sliming my brain.
Ch 1- Tyrion - Okay, despite his horde of flaws, I used to both like and pity Tyrion. Plus, he killed Tywin! Yay! Tywin is right up there in contention for my personal "most hated character", in a series full of more truly hatable characters than possibly anything I have ever read. Between that and pity for the rest of his horribly miserable life, I'm willing to excuse Tyrion a lot more than I would most characters. This chapter has the advantage of seeing Tywin get killed again, in Tyrions memories. I heartily approve. Anyway, Tyrion is drunk, and his head isn't a pleasant place, either. Mostly cause he is soooo traumatized that he killed one of the worst fathers in the history of literature (also, see: Roose Bolton, Kraster, Randally Tarley) We meet Illyrio again. I don't like him either. You'd think Tyrion would be celebrating his triumph over the complete scumbag who has done nothing but make his life miserable as far back as he'd remember, but no, more than anything else in his life full of trauma, killing Daddy dearest traumatizes poor Tyrion. ... ... ... ...
Oh, screw it, I think I can sum up why I hate this chapter, and why I was yet again thinking "Get me out of this sick-fuck character's head" fairly early:
Ilyrio: "Choose from amongst my servingwomen,. None will dare refuse you."
& later, Tyrion, speaking to the poor girl who clearly has no choice in the matter and is offering to sleep with him:
"No, I am done with women." The girl took that disappointment too well for his liking.
"I believe I have changed my mind. Keep your mouth shut and your thighs open and the two of us should get on splendidly."
Okay, kiddies, remember this: Rape is a sign that the rapist is a sad, traumatized person deserving of much sympathy. Or, at least, that if something bad happens that scars you, rape is a more or less defensible reaction. Or, maybe, fucking someone you know doesn't want to fuck you but will probably be tortured and killed if she says no is not rape, cause she offers like she's told. Pick one. Gee, why did I hate this book again? NOT A GOOD START.
(okay, I'm not sure we see Tyrion actually sleep with the girl, but there's stuff later that disinclines me to give him the benefit of the doubt, and really, this is the sort of thing there's really no good reason not to make clear, so major badness no matter how you look at it)
Also, lesson learned: People will forgive guys they like if said guys commit rape. Cause really, not that big of a deal. Oh, wait, I'm being silly. This is fiction, and has no impact on real life ever, and also, things like that would never happen in real life, that friends/family/fans side with the rapist. So, I figure I have a free pass to hate on the book as much as I want for the rest of the way, but I'm really going to try hard to ignore this part as much as possible, except when further Tyrion chapters make it impossible.)
Ch 2 - Dany. Dany rules Mereen. Her supporters keep being killed by fans of the old regime. People keep showing up to tell her how much they love her and why she should go back to the grand old days of slavery and evil like' the people she just replaced. Dude brings burned child bones and says one of her dragons munched his kid.
Dany is one of my favorite characters, and I sympathize and empathize with her a lot in the first 3 books. I'm also fond of Barristan Selmy. And Grey Worm. But I am not loving this chapter. Partly I'm kinda overdosing on grim and depressing at this point. Partly there seems to be a "good-hearted people are naive, stupid and helpless" theme going down in Mereen, which irritates me. Yes, I know, Dany is just a young girl, etc, but her lack of imaginative problem solving in this book baffles me, and seems to run counter to her past boldness. And Selmy apparently just completely failed to progress beyond the Eddard Stark School of Politics (and, in fact, is rather more passive and naive that Ned ever was) despite living 60 years in two different nests of vipers. So, um, yeah. Sorta over authorial stacking the deck in a way that doesn't work for me,whatever the purpose might be. Also, I'm thinking the dragon is being set up, cause, ummm, why/how did Drogon eat the kid but not the bones? But am not sure. Maybe the father followed the dragon and dug through the excrement. That would be pretty typical of this book, actually. I'm almost surprised we didn't get a detailed scene. Which makes me again think "set up." Anyway, I want the dragons to start eating all the adults, or at least the vast majority of adults that I really don't like. That would make this book a lot better. (yes, I know, this goes under heading of "be careful what you wish for", thus my caveat.
Ch 3 - Jon. I LIKED THIS CHAPTER. I just thought you all should know that. What I liked about the previous books in this series, is still here. This chapter rocked. No complaints. I would extol its virtues, but, hey, running out of time.
What happened: Stannis still at wall. Jon still in command of Night's Watch. Sam still there. While the existence of a Stannis fan on my f-list is not nearly so strange as the existence of sufficient swarms of Littlefinger fans to make him the 10th most popular character in an online survey (gee, why do I avoid this fandom again? I think there's a clue there)(if there are Ramsey Bolton fans out there, please no one tell me, okay? Unless they friend me or start commenting here; then I need to know), I still don't comprehend how Stannis is one of anybody's favorite characters. Explanations welcome. Aftermath of battle with wildings. People argue. Melisandre says "You know nothing, Jon Snow."
Ch 4 - Bran - I liked this chapter, too, if not as much. Very bleak, but well done. Except the sudden presence of the wolf with the prologue character inside. I am sure this will prove significant in some later book, but for now, no. We just get to see Summer trounce him and piss on him. I'm sure this will matter sometime before the end of the series. And Martin doesn't seem to really get animals. His super-wolves have an amazing lack of personality. But, otherwise, I like everyone, and they are all behaving in ways that I can buy, the scenes are interesting, and the writing is good, and the bleak is not disgusting. So yay. Oh, what happened: It is cold. Bran, Summer, Meera, Jojen, Hodor, a big elk and DeadRanger are trekking northward to meet Bran's future mentor. It is cold. They are tired, cold, and low on food. It is very cold.
And we're at page 70. I feel bad for such abbreviated descriptions, like, almost pointless, but, hey, time constraints. I shall need to pick up the pace and try to up the analytical quotient later on. My actual reread is about halfway through the book right now, but I'm going to *try* to do a chapter by chapter thingy. I have to work some this weekend, and am sick, and "turn book in" deadline looms in about 10 days. This will be a race as much as a reread.