In Cog Neeto (Domlijah, Billy/Orlando) PG-13
Title: In Cog Neeto
Author: Moit
Summary: Elijah and Dom take a bet to walk across the UCLA campus between classes without being recognized.
Pairing: Dom/Elijah, implied Billy/Orlando
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy, Crack!fic
Warnings: Yaoi/Slash, bad language
Author's Note: This is dedicated to J and all the walks we took to get coffee last semester. *hugs*
Elijah glanced at Dom as he slid his sunglasses up his nose.
“If we get caught, I'm blaming you.”
Dom grinned, the scruffy beard making him look older than his 25 years. Elijah rolled his eyes, even though Dom couldn't see.
The bet was simple: Orlando and Billy bet Dom and Elijah they couldn't walk from one end of the UCLA campus to the other, and stop for coffee without being recognized. If Orlando and Billy won, Dom and Elijah would come out about their relationship. But if Dom and Elijah won, Orlando and Billy would go on a real date together, complete with a goodnight kiss.
The bet started as a drunken joke one night at Elijah's, but escalated when Dom kept teasing Orli about his supposed crush on Billy. Orlando had tried to brush it off, but Billy sat back and laid out his terms of the bet. Dom and Elijah added theirs and eagerly agreed. Orli just shrugged - he couldn't really lose.
The bet seemed like a great idea until Dom and Elijah found themselves surrounded by hundreds of college students - at least half of which were no doubt women. The sunglasses were a necessity, bu thats would have been too obvious. Fortunately, Elijah's post-Rings buzz cut and beard helped to hide his Frodo features a bit more. Dom had also reminded him to keep his mouth shut so he didn't flash the famous gap in his front teeth.
So in faded jeans and flip-flops, they attempted their trek across campus.
“This is certainly an experience, considering I never went to college,” Elijah muttered.
Dom shrugged. “European Unis are much different. We don't have so many lovely women over there,” he said, lowering his glasses to admire a passing female coed.
“Keep those on!” Elijah hissed, elbowing his boyfriend in the ribs.
“Easy!” Dom hissed back, sliding his glasses back up his nose. “I was only looking. Jealous much?”
“I don't care who you check out, I just don't want you to blow our cover!”
Dom said nothing.
Together, they weaved their way through the crowd of students, carefully dodging the activists handing out fliers for everything from night-clubs to pro-life propaganda.
“Screw trying to pull at the clubs - I should bring Bills here.”
“Now you're making me jealous. Knock it off.”
Dom loped an arm around Elijah's shoulders, pulling him close. “Relax. You know I only have eyes for you.”
Elijah allowed himself to relax infinitesimally. Things were going fine. That is, until a bright-eyed youngster sporting a multi-coloured “Marriage Equality” button blocked their path.
“Excuse us,” Elijah said, ducking his head, trying to walk around the kid.
Mr. Marriage Equality, however, was having none of it.
“Are you aware that our Student Government is trying to pass an amendment that would forbid homosexual students from living in the dorms?”
“We don't live on campus, sorry,” Dom said, trying again to side-step Mr. Marriage Equality to no avail. The kid just moved with them.
“Do you understand that it's a form of discrimination to forbid a student from residing in campus housing based on his sexual orientation?”
“Really, we're in a hurry. What can we do for you?” Dom asked, his patience growing thin.
“Sign my petition,” the kid said, brandishing a clipboard.
Dom glanced sidelong at Elijah, who shrugged. What choice did they have? It was either sign the petition or argue for another 20 minutes.
Reluctantly, Dom took the clipboard and signed his name - Bernard Patrick. He passed the clipboard to Elijah, whose signature was an unintelligible scrawl. He handed the clipboard back to the kid, giving him a tight-lipped smile.
“Has anyone ever told you you look just like...”
Elijah held his breath, waiting for his facade to shatter.
“...Tobey Maguire?”
Elijah let out a relieved breath.
“Yeah,” he nodded without missing a beat, “I get that all the time.”
Before the kid could connect the dots further, Elijah grabbed Dom's arm and pulled him away.
“That was fucking close,” the Englishman growled.
“You're telling me!” Elijah replied.
They walked faster, keeping on the outside of the crowd to avoid any more students like Mr. Marriage Equality.
“There it is,” Dom said pointing at the Starbucks across the street.
“Finally,” Elijah sighed.
But as they crossed the road, a girl on a bike nearly ran them over. She careened to the right, missing Elijah's bare toes by inches.
“Sorry! Sorry! I am so sorry! I really need to watch where I'm going,” the girl apologized, jumping off her bike.
“It's okay, you didn't hit us,” Elijah replied, stepping forward.
“Wait,” the girl said, placing a hand on Dom's arm. “Don't I know you?”
“Ahh...” Dom's Adam's Apple bobbed in his throat.
Elijah squeezed his eyes shut, steeling himself.
“Yes!” she cried suddenly, clapping her hands together. “You're in my Chem class Tuesdays and Thursdays with Dr. Chan!”
Dom's face fell in relief. “Yes! That's right... Chem. Well, we've gotta get going. See you in class!”
The girl waved and smiled brightly as Dom practically dragged Elijah across the street and into Starbucks.
“I'm going to kill Billy,” Elijah ground out once they got inside.
Dom clapped him on the back, leading him to the counter. He ordered and paid for two black coffees. Handing Elijah his, they stepped back out into the L.A. sunshine.
Orlando and Billy were in the car, waiting for them at the curb.
“You fucking owe us,” Elijah snapped as he and Dom crawled into the backseat.
“You didn't have fun?” Orli asked, twisting around to look at his friends.
The look Elijah gave him could have fried bacon.
“Sorry I asked,” Orli laughed, turning back around. “How's Friday night for you, Bills?”
“I'll pick you up at 8,” the Scot smirked, pulling away from the curb.
Saturday morning, Billy padded into the kitchen and took a seat between Dom and Elijah.
“You got home late. How's Orli?” Dom asked, grinning.
“Ask him yourself,” Billy replied, gesturing Orli in the doorway wearing rumpled pajama bottoms and looking thoroughly well-fucked.
Elijah threw his head back and crowed with laugher.
Author: Moit
Summary: Elijah and Dom take a bet to walk across the UCLA campus between classes without being recognized.
Pairing: Dom/Elijah, implied Billy/Orlando
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy, Crack!fic
Warnings: Yaoi/Slash, bad language
Author's Note: This is dedicated to J and all the walks we took to get coffee last semester. *hugs*
Elijah glanced at Dom as he slid his sunglasses up his nose.
“If we get caught, I'm blaming you.”
Dom grinned, the scruffy beard making him look older than his 25 years. Elijah rolled his eyes, even though Dom couldn't see.
The bet was simple: Orlando and Billy bet Dom and Elijah they couldn't walk from one end of the UCLA campus to the other, and stop for coffee without being recognized. If Orlando and Billy won, Dom and Elijah would come out about their relationship. But if Dom and Elijah won, Orlando and Billy would go on a real date together, complete with a goodnight kiss.
The bet started as a drunken joke one night at Elijah's, but escalated when Dom kept teasing Orli about his supposed crush on Billy. Orlando had tried to brush it off, but Billy sat back and laid out his terms of the bet. Dom and Elijah added theirs and eagerly agreed. Orli just shrugged - he couldn't really lose.
The bet seemed like a great idea until Dom and Elijah found themselves surrounded by hundreds of college students - at least half of which were no doubt women. The sunglasses were a necessity, bu thats would have been too obvious. Fortunately, Elijah's post-Rings buzz cut and beard helped to hide his Frodo features a bit more. Dom had also reminded him to keep his mouth shut so he didn't flash the famous gap in his front teeth.
So in faded jeans and flip-flops, they attempted their trek across campus.
“This is certainly an experience, considering I never went to college,” Elijah muttered.
Dom shrugged. “European Unis are much different. We don't have so many lovely women over there,” he said, lowering his glasses to admire a passing female coed.
“Keep those on!” Elijah hissed, elbowing his boyfriend in the ribs.
“Easy!” Dom hissed back, sliding his glasses back up his nose. “I was only looking. Jealous much?”
“I don't care who you check out, I just don't want you to blow our cover!”
Dom said nothing.
Together, they weaved their way through the crowd of students, carefully dodging the activists handing out fliers for everything from night-clubs to pro-life propaganda.
“Screw trying to pull at the clubs - I should bring Bills here.”
“Now you're making me jealous. Knock it off.”
Dom loped an arm around Elijah's shoulders, pulling him close. “Relax. You know I only have eyes for you.”
Elijah allowed himself to relax infinitesimally. Things were going fine. That is, until a bright-eyed youngster sporting a multi-coloured “Marriage Equality” button blocked their path.
“Excuse us,” Elijah said, ducking his head, trying to walk around the kid.
Mr. Marriage Equality, however, was having none of it.
“Are you aware that our Student Government is trying to pass an amendment that would forbid homosexual students from living in the dorms?”
“We don't live on campus, sorry,” Dom said, trying again to side-step Mr. Marriage Equality to no avail. The kid just moved with them.
“Do you understand that it's a form of discrimination to forbid a student from residing in campus housing based on his sexual orientation?”
“Really, we're in a hurry. What can we do for you?” Dom asked, his patience growing thin.
“Sign my petition,” the kid said, brandishing a clipboard.
Dom glanced sidelong at Elijah, who shrugged. What choice did they have? It was either sign the petition or argue for another 20 minutes.
Reluctantly, Dom took the clipboard and signed his name - Bernard Patrick. He passed the clipboard to Elijah, whose signature was an unintelligible scrawl. He handed the clipboard back to the kid, giving him a tight-lipped smile.
“Has anyone ever told you you look just like...”
Elijah held his breath, waiting for his facade to shatter.
“...Tobey Maguire?”
Elijah let out a relieved breath.
“Yeah,” he nodded without missing a beat, “I get that all the time.”
Before the kid could connect the dots further, Elijah grabbed Dom's arm and pulled him away.
“That was fucking close,” the Englishman growled.
“You're telling me!” Elijah replied.
They walked faster, keeping on the outside of the crowd to avoid any more students like Mr. Marriage Equality.
“There it is,” Dom said pointing at the Starbucks across the street.
“Finally,” Elijah sighed.
But as they crossed the road, a girl on a bike nearly ran them over. She careened to the right, missing Elijah's bare toes by inches.
“Sorry! Sorry! I am so sorry! I really need to watch where I'm going,” the girl apologized, jumping off her bike.
“It's okay, you didn't hit us,” Elijah replied, stepping forward.
“Wait,” the girl said, placing a hand on Dom's arm. “Don't I know you?”
“Ahh...” Dom's Adam's Apple bobbed in his throat.
Elijah squeezed his eyes shut, steeling himself.
“Yes!” she cried suddenly, clapping her hands together. “You're in my Chem class Tuesdays and Thursdays with Dr. Chan!”
Dom's face fell in relief. “Yes! That's right... Chem. Well, we've gotta get going. See you in class!”
The girl waved and smiled brightly as Dom practically dragged Elijah across the street and into Starbucks.
“I'm going to kill Billy,” Elijah ground out once they got inside.
Dom clapped him on the back, leading him to the counter. He ordered and paid for two black coffees. Handing Elijah his, they stepped back out into the L.A. sunshine.
Orlando and Billy were in the car, waiting for them at the curb.
“You fucking owe us,” Elijah snapped as he and Dom crawled into the backseat.
“You didn't have fun?” Orli asked, twisting around to look at his friends.
The look Elijah gave him could have fried bacon.
“Sorry I asked,” Orli laughed, turning back around. “How's Friday night for you, Bills?”
“I'll pick you up at 8,” the Scot smirked, pulling away from the curb.
Saturday morning, Billy padded into the kitchen and took a seat between Dom and Elijah.
“You got home late. How's Orli?” Dom asked, grinning.
“Ask him yourself,” Billy replied, gesturing Orli in the doorway wearing rumpled pajama bottoms and looking thoroughly well-fucked.
Elijah threw his head back and crowed with laugher.