I should not drink coffee at 11pm, even if it is delicious.
Chelle: [photo]
Tim: It's very cuttlefish-like.
Chelle: Are you insulting my Elder God knitting project?
Tim: No, I like cuttlefish.
Chelle: Did you know that I'd never seen one in person -- a cuttlefish, I mean, not an Elder God -- until dim sum with you guys last summer?
Chelle: Now my impression of them is mostly that if you get any on you, the smell will never, ever come out.
Tim: Oh. Well, they're much cooler than that when alive.
Chelle: It was pretty cool even after being steamed and cooked! That's why I was playing with my food in the first place.
Chelle: I just didn't expect it to still squirt at me after being dead for that long.
Tim: Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
Chelle: Oh, Tim. I always love you best when you're being terrible and inappropriate.
*** You were reconnected to Google Talk at 4:05 AM.
Chelle: God damn it.
Chelle: The problem with a tablet that has a dockable keyboard is that, unlike actual laptops, it's top-heavy. If you shift wrong, the whole thing tips backwards and then the jostling undocks it. And since the ethernet port is in the keyboard, everything disconnects!
Chelle: (No cracks about how appropriate it is that even my laptop is top-heavy.)
Chelle: (I will kick you through the internet.)
Tim: Had not even occurred to me!
Chelle: The problem with you playing innocent is that I actually know you.
Chelle: Sign #14353 that I have guilt issues, right there.
Chelle: (Seriously, how do you keep finding us? It's like you have guiltdar. "Oh, look, a woman with guilt issues. I SHOULD ADD HER TO MY COLLECTION.")
Tim: lolol
Chelle: ...Did you just lol at me?
Tim: Yes.
Chelle: I don't know if we can be friends anymore.
You don't want to know how we got onto the topic of pejazzling. It involved Tim with a rhinestone mohawk, then moved on to glam-ing up the cast of The Deadliest Catch. And then:
Chelle: Seriously. Pejazzling. What is the world coming to?
Tim: I was wondering where the J came from.
Chelle: Well. It started out as a thing for women called 'vajazzling'.
Tim: Where the J is only mildly inappropriate.
Tim: Although I suppose "vagazzling" doesn't read right.
Chelle: I guess they thought 'vagazzling' looked too much like it might be a hard g and then it sounds like gargling. Or German.
Tim: And vagoslings are even creepier.
Chelle: I'd honestly rather have whatever vagoslings are than have rhinestones glued to my cunt.
Tim: I dunno, depends on whether the mama goose is around.
Tim: They can be mean.
Chelle: Moving right along...
Chelle: Vagoslings! Some type of gonadal projectile weapon? Maybe the porno version of Gremlins?
Tim: "I'm really, really wet. Oh god."
Chelle: We're bad people.
Tim: Duh.
Chelle: It's really hard to storm out dramatically when you're in bed. And in another country.
Chelle: I suppose I will just have to do without.
Tim: And your keyboard would just fall off.
Chelle: That too.
Chelle: Curses, foiled again.
Chelle: I'll get you next time, Gadget.
Chelle: Team Rocket, blasting off again.
Chelle: Something.
Tim: That's a little suggestive, isn't it?
Chelle: I'm punch-drunk at half five in the morning. What ISN'T suggestive?
Tim: Things that are blatant?
Chelle: Well, okay, yes. Fine. Be that way.
Chelle: God, the kids are getting so big.
Chelle: ...Which was a way less cringe-worthy segue in my head!
Tim: I suspected as much.
Chelle: The train of thought went: my default response is always sarcasm -> teaching the girls sarcasm while I lived there -> I was there for dinner earlier tonight and spent a lot of time playing with Gryphon -> holy crap he gets bigger every time I see him.
Tim: I would be less worried about where I find women with guilt problems and more worried about where I find women with this concept of segues.
Tim: It's very cuttlefish-like.
Chelle: Are you insulting my Elder God knitting project?
Tim: No, I like cuttlefish.
Chelle: Did you know that I'd never seen one in person -- a cuttlefish, I mean, not an Elder God -- until dim sum with you guys last summer?
Chelle: Now my impression of them is mostly that if you get any on you, the smell will never, ever come out.
Tim: Oh. Well, they're much cooler than that when alive.
Chelle: It was pretty cool even after being steamed and cooked! That's why I was playing with my food in the first place.
Chelle: I just didn't expect it to still squirt at me after being dead for that long.
Tim: Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
Chelle: Oh, Tim. I always love you best when you're being terrible and inappropriate.
*** You were reconnected to Google Talk at 4:05 AM.
Chelle: God damn it.
Chelle: The problem with a tablet that has a dockable keyboard is that, unlike actual laptops, it's top-heavy. If you shift wrong, the whole thing tips backwards and then the jostling undocks it. And since the ethernet port is in the keyboard, everything disconnects!
Chelle: (No cracks about how appropriate it is that even my laptop is top-heavy.)
Chelle: (I will kick you through the internet.)
Tim: Had not even occurred to me!
Chelle: The problem with you playing innocent is that I actually know you.
Chelle: Sign #14353 that I have guilt issues, right there.
Chelle: (Seriously, how do you keep finding us? It's like you have guiltdar. "Oh, look, a woman with guilt issues. I SHOULD ADD HER TO MY COLLECTION.")
Tim: lolol
Chelle: ...Did you just lol at me?
Tim: Yes.
Chelle: I don't know if we can be friends anymore.
You don't want to know how we got onto the topic of pejazzling. It involved Tim with a rhinestone mohawk, then moved on to glam-ing up the cast of The Deadliest Catch. And then:
Chelle: Seriously. Pejazzling. What is the world coming to?
Tim: I was wondering where the J came from.
Chelle: Well. It started out as a thing for women called 'vajazzling'.
Tim: Where the J is only mildly inappropriate.
Tim: Although I suppose "vagazzling" doesn't read right.
Chelle: I guess they thought 'vagazzling' looked too much like it might be a hard g and then it sounds like gargling. Or German.
Tim: And vagoslings are even creepier.
Chelle: I'd honestly rather have whatever vagoslings are than have rhinestones glued to my cunt.
Tim: I dunno, depends on whether the mama goose is around.
Tim: They can be mean.
Chelle: Moving right along...
Chelle: Vagoslings! Some type of gonadal projectile weapon? Maybe the porno version of Gremlins?
Tim: "I'm really, really wet. Oh god."
Chelle: We're bad people.
Tim: Duh.
Chelle: It's really hard to storm out dramatically when you're in bed. And in another country.
Chelle: I suppose I will just have to do without.
Tim: And your keyboard would just fall off.
Chelle: That too.
Chelle: Curses, foiled again.
Chelle: I'll get you next time, Gadget.
Chelle: Team Rocket, blasting off again.
Chelle: Something.
Tim: That's a little suggestive, isn't it?
Chelle: I'm punch-drunk at half five in the morning. What ISN'T suggestive?
Tim: Things that are blatant?
Chelle: Well, okay, yes. Fine. Be that way.
Chelle: God, the kids are getting so big.
Chelle: ...Which was a way less cringe-worthy segue in my head!
Tim: I suspected as much.
Chelle: The train of thought went: my default response is always sarcasm -> teaching the girls sarcasm while I lived there -> I was there for dinner earlier tonight and spent a lot of time playing with Gryphon -> holy crap he gets bigger every time I see him.
Tim: I would be less worried about where I find women with guilt problems and more worried about where I find women with this concept of segues.