Desire.
Heart's Desire: Think about something you once wanted so badly but never acquired. Write about how you think your life would've been different if you had received what your heart desired.
Clotho:
(too oblivious to lock)
I'm really the only one of us who can answer this. 'Khesis wanted An for so, so long, but she got him. And I guess it was only a matter of time, and maybe we all sort of knew it was possible, even probable, so even though it was torture for her, all that time, she had the pot of gold at the end of her rainbow.
But 'Khesis' regrets are my regrets - just like she waited so very long for An, everything she's never had, she's never had because I didn't, first. Same with Attie. The story of "can't have" is mine, because Attie's past wanting things, and Khesis has almost everything she wants. And she'll get everything eventually, most likely. But me?
I'm the happy one. I really am. I love life - I think it's really amazing and beautiful, and there are so many fun things to do and see and be a part of. What's really cool about being my part of me is that everything is always new to me, even if it's sometimes in the scary way. I live for change, and growth, and movement and bursts.
It's not so bad.
The part that isn't so lovely, though, the part that isn't so good, is that I'm not really enough on my own. Atropos has seen it all, and done it all. Lachesis gets to enjoy fruition and the best parts of everything. But me?
I don't know. You know what's funny? Atropos and Khesis and I have the same thread. Even now, when we're more separated than we've ever been before - we all have the same one. So Fate, Aisa, can be happy. There's possibility everywhere for it. Khesis might get married, and then we'll be with someone forever, probably, and that's lovely.
But I won't get to know that part. I'll always be just on the edge. The most I'll ever get is being just on the cusp of knowing what it's like, really knowing what it's like, to be fully loved. I've been loved. Anteros used to love me; Phobos still loves me, I guess, but that's weird, because he didn't even really want to, I don't think. Me being Fate ruined things with An and ever since I remembered, I miss him. Weird., and it ruined things with Spook, too. But things don't get ruined for Khesis. And 'Pos doesn't care anymore. She's beyond it.
But me?
I'm always, always wanting.
And never, never having.
But... but but.
If I had my heart's desire, I wouldn't be me, right? How can you be young without understanding what it's like to always be on your tiptoes, looking through the window of the party you're not old enough to go to; without wishing you could play with the big kids; without being jealous of your older sister and having a crush on her boyfriend?
I think that maybe I just wasn't meant for that stuff. I hurt every boy I love who loves me. Badly. Because of what I am.
So there you go. Almost limitless knowledge; totally limited existence.
It's not so bad though. I always know where the best parties are.
:wry smile:
Clotho:
(too oblivious to lock)
I'm really the only one of us who can answer this. 'Khesis wanted An for so, so long, but she got him. And I guess it was only a matter of time, and maybe we all sort of knew it was possible, even probable, so even though it was torture for her, all that time, she had the pot of gold at the end of her rainbow.
But 'Khesis' regrets are my regrets - just like she waited so very long for An, everything she's never had, she's never had because I didn't, first. Same with Attie. The story of "can't have" is mine, because Attie's past wanting things, and Khesis has almost everything she wants. And she'll get everything eventually, most likely. But me?
I'm the happy one. I really am. I love life - I think it's really amazing and beautiful, and there are so many fun things to do and see and be a part of. What's really cool about being my part of me is that everything is always new to me, even if it's sometimes in the scary way. I live for change, and growth, and movement and bursts.
It's not so bad.
The part that isn't so lovely, though, the part that isn't so good, is that I'm not really enough on my own. Atropos has seen it all, and done it all. Lachesis gets to enjoy fruition and the best parts of everything. But me?
I don't know. You know what's funny? Atropos and Khesis and I have the same thread. Even now, when we're more separated than we've ever been before - we all have the same one. So Fate, Aisa, can be happy. There's possibility everywhere for it. Khesis might get married, and then we'll be with someone forever, probably, and that's lovely.
But I won't get to know that part. I'll always be just on the edge. The most I'll ever get is being just on the cusp of knowing what it's like, really knowing what it's like, to be fully loved. I've been loved. Anteros used to love me; Phobos still loves me, I guess, but that's weird, because he didn't even really want to, I don't think. Me being Fate ruined things with An and ever since I remembered, I miss him. Weird., and it ruined things with Spook, too. But things don't get ruined for Khesis. And 'Pos doesn't care anymore. She's beyond it.
But me?
I'm always, always wanting.
And never, never having.
But... but but.
If I had my heart's desire, I wouldn't be me, right? How can you be young without understanding what it's like to always be on your tiptoes, looking through the window of the party you're not old enough to go to; without wishing you could play with the big kids; without being jealous of your older sister and having a crush on her boyfriend?
I think that maybe I just wasn't meant for that stuff. I hurt every boy I love who loves me. Badly. Because of what I am.
So there you go. Almost limitless knowledge; totally limited existence.
It's not so bad though. I always know where the best parties are.
:wry smile: