!Fic: Cheer up fics
Title: 2 Cheer Up fics
Pairing: OnKey & OnKey
Rating: ...PG-13? I need to work on this stuff XD
Genre: Crack, prolly XD
Summary: Kibum is a bitchy ahjumma-manwhore and Jinki is his dearly beloved husband. ((LOLYEAHSURE))
A/N: Lol. idek. PaoPao needed cheering up and I was like "Tiem to break out mah random." Thus, these little beauties pop out XD
~~
"Jinki, pass me my bag."
"Your manbag. Mhmm."
"...Dun call it a man bag. It's a messenger bag."
"Exactly. It's a man bag."
"Jinki, it is NOT a man bag. It's a messenger bag. Minho has one too and you dont call THAT a man bag."
"That's because he actually resembles a man, Kibum."
"...Bitch, did you just call me a girl?"
"No, I merely pointed out the fact that Minho is more masquline than you."
"Really, now? I'll show you who's god damn masquline. I'll smack you with my man bag."
"...Oh, Kibum, baby, you know I enjoy that shit."
"LEE JINKI, GOD HELP ME, IF YOU SAY THAT ONCE MORE I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT AND I WILL FUCKING SMACK YOU TO DEATH WITH A GUCCI CLUTCH PURSE."
"...Aww~ Why not Vivienne Westwood? At least have some class."
"...Gucci is classy, manwhore."
"PUAHAHA. LOOK WHOS CALLING ME A MANWHORE, MANWHORE."
"I'm not a manwhore!"
"You so totally are. I mean, I think I'm probably the only person you haven't shagged on SM."
"...I haven't fucked Tae. Or Jjong."
"EXACTLY. MANWHORE."
"DAMNIT I AM NOT A WHORE. I HAVENT SHAGGED ANYONE IN FUCKING AGES."
"Well. Just so you know, there's an open invitation floating around between us."
"...Lee Jinki you say that once more and I will give you the best god damn sexing of your god damn life."
"...Let me guess, you have lube hidden away somewhere in that man bag?"
"YAH. I DO NOT HAVE LUBE IN MY MAN BAG. ITS HIDING IN MY- Wait. Why am I telling you where my lube is?"
"I don't know, why are you telling me where your lube is?"
"Oh shut up, Jinki. Anyhow. I was looking for my phone."
"To call one of your regular ho's?"
"Yeah. Jino's been sexti- WAIT WHAT NO."
"PUAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU WHORE."
"JINKI I WILL FRACKING SHOW YOU WHO'S A WHORE IN A MINUTE NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP."
"Oh yes, of course, because you could totally out-man me."
"...Bitch, I know where you keep your secret toys."
"WHAT."
"Yeah, exactly. You're too tofu to top, anyhow."
"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"I could dominate you any day."
"Sure, sure. I'd like to see you try."
"...You know that invitation? Fucking accepted. C'mere-"
"MMPHNIASDFIPNASDF. KIB- KIBUM WHAT- MDSONAI- FAPSID- sd- mmm... Mmm, Kibum-ah... Nnnn..."
"S- See?"
"...Shut it, Kibum. Show me what that filthy little whore mouth can do."
"Challenge accepted, Jinki."
...And thus, Kibums intentions of shagging Jino ran out of the window, along with Jinki's virginity and 2 tubes of cherry flavoured lube.
"Taeminiieee~ Have fun at school, cheonsaaaa!"
"Key, shush..."
"Have a great day, baby!"
"Key..."
"Don't forget to hand that form in to your tutor!"
"Kibum."
"Umma loves you!"
"Kibum."
"And if those bullies come anywhere near you again I'mma smack them with my mother's wooden spoon!"
"Key!"
"Bye bye, sweetyyyy~ Umma and Appa love you~ Jinki, tell him you love him."
"What? He already knows!"
"Bye bye, honey! Tell him! God!"
"But Kibu-"
"Tell him!"
"Fine, fine. Have a good day at school, kiddo!"
"Tell him you love him! We love youuuu~"
"Fahajagfgsh... Love you! Bye bye!"
"Thank you. That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"God, you're worse than my grandmother sometimes."
"Bitch, I aint old. Im in my damn prime right now... My baby's grown up so quick..."
"Oh god. Here we go again..."
Pairing: OnKey & OnKey
Rating: ...PG-13? I need to work on this stuff XD
Genre: Crack, prolly XD
Summary: Kibum is a bitchy ahjumma-manwhore and Jinki is his dearly beloved husband. ((LOLYEAHSURE))
A/N: Lol. idek. PaoPao needed cheering up and I was like "Tiem to break out mah random." Thus, these little beauties pop out XD
~~
"Jinki, pass me my bag."
"Your manbag. Mhmm."
"...Dun call it a man bag. It's a messenger bag."
"Exactly. It's a man bag."
"Jinki, it is NOT a man bag. It's a messenger bag. Minho has one too and you dont call THAT a man bag."
"That's because he actually resembles a man, Kibum."
"...Bitch, did you just call me a girl?"
"No, I merely pointed out the fact that Minho is more masquline than you."
"Really, now? I'll show you who's god damn masquline. I'll smack you with my man bag."
"...Oh, Kibum, baby, you know I enjoy that shit."
"LEE JINKI, GOD HELP ME, IF YOU SAY THAT ONCE MORE I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT AND I WILL FUCKING SMACK YOU TO DEATH WITH A GUCCI CLUTCH PURSE."
"...Aww~ Why not Vivienne Westwood? At least have some class."
"...Gucci is classy, manwhore."
"PUAHAHA. LOOK WHOS CALLING ME A MANWHORE, MANWHORE."
"I'm not a manwhore!"
"You so totally are. I mean, I think I'm probably the only person you haven't shagged on SM."
"...I haven't fucked Tae. Or Jjong."
"EXACTLY. MANWHORE."
"DAMNIT I AM NOT A WHORE. I HAVENT SHAGGED ANYONE IN FUCKING AGES."
"Well. Just so you know, there's an open invitation floating around between us."
"...Lee Jinki you say that once more and I will give you the best god damn sexing of your god damn life."
"...Let me guess, you have lube hidden away somewhere in that man bag?"
"YAH. I DO NOT HAVE LUBE IN MY MAN BAG. ITS HIDING IN MY- Wait. Why am I telling you where my lube is?"
"I don't know, why are you telling me where your lube is?"
"Oh shut up, Jinki. Anyhow. I was looking for my phone."
"To call one of your regular ho's?"
"Yeah. Jino's been sexti- WAIT WHAT NO."
"PUAHAHAHAHAHA. YOU WHORE."
"JINKI I WILL FRACKING SHOW YOU WHO'S A WHORE IN A MINUTE NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP."
"Oh yes, of course, because you could totally out-man me."
"...Bitch, I know where you keep your secret toys."
"WHAT."
"Yeah, exactly. You're too tofu to top, anyhow."
"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"I could dominate you any day."
"Sure, sure. I'd like to see you try."
"...You know that invitation? Fucking accepted. C'mere-"
"MMPHNIASDFIPNASDF. KIB- KIBUM WHAT- MDSONAI- FAPSID- sd- mmm... Mmm, Kibum-ah... Nnnn..."
"S- See?"
"...Shut it, Kibum. Show me what that filthy little whore mouth can do."
"Challenge accepted, Jinki."
...And thus, Kibums intentions of shagging Jino ran out of the window, along with Jinki's virginity and 2 tubes of cherry flavoured lube.
"Taeminiieee~ Have fun at school, cheonsaaaa!"
"Key, shush..."
"Have a great day, baby!"
"Key..."
"Don't forget to hand that form in to your tutor!"
"Kibum."
"Umma loves you!"
"Kibum."
"And if those bullies come anywhere near you again I'mma smack them with my mother's wooden spoon!"
"Key!"
"Bye bye, sweetyyyy~ Umma and Appa love you~ Jinki, tell him you love him."
"What? He already knows!"
"Bye bye, honey! Tell him! God!"
"But Kibu-"
"Tell him!"
"Fine, fine. Have a good day at school, kiddo!"
"Tell him you love him! We love youuuu~"
"Fahajagfgsh... Love you! Bye bye!"
"Thank you. That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"God, you're worse than my grandmother sometimes."
"Bitch, I aint old. Im in my damn prime right now... My baby's grown up so quick..."
"Oh god. Here we go again..."