blipped
washed up in my living room, with a beer and a cigarette, Im sitting on my couch. my old appartment has been rented and I am without that burden. my nerves are twitching and my head is spinning, Im dehydrated due to my workout today.
it sucks waiting for something that is not certain or tangible. I want to count on his arrival, his presence, his laughter, and ease - but I cant. it will drive me crazy if I do. wah. this is a stupid arrangement.
I could have told katya today that I didnt want to work in the fall, but I didnt. I should really be hanest with her about it. yuk. why is that so hard?
I want to be around people tonight - but I dont know if I want to go out in french. I've problems today in french. I've problems in english today too. my voice cracks and my nerves go crazy. I tremble today, slightly. wah.
whipped into frothing extasie, my heart seems to be taking a blow. I went walking down a country road with Yan today and it streatched my eye balls flat. so much sky, so much field, so much space. I breathed country air. I got bitten by country mosquitos.
I miss my mom.
I miss my friends.
I miss things today.
my fingers seem to be itching to create something. I dont know what yet. I think I want to sew.
I think I want to sit down and watch a movie with someone.
I think Im lonely here. I expected company for tonight, and he hasnt shown up. this is a ridiculous arrangement.
I think I want to eat a lot of junk food to make myself feel better. oops. good thing all my dishes are dirty... I either clean and eat, or drink and smoke and forget that Im hungry. option two seems better because the bottom line is that I dont really want to do anything at all. Im in a funk tonight. Im in a waiting place. Im not here in this moment.
blip.
it sucks waiting for something that is not certain or tangible. I want to count on his arrival, his presence, his laughter, and ease - but I cant. it will drive me crazy if I do. wah. this is a stupid arrangement.
I could have told katya today that I didnt want to work in the fall, but I didnt. I should really be hanest with her about it. yuk. why is that so hard?
I want to be around people tonight - but I dont know if I want to go out in french. I've problems today in french. I've problems in english today too. my voice cracks and my nerves go crazy. I tremble today, slightly. wah.
whipped into frothing extasie, my heart seems to be taking a blow. I went walking down a country road with Yan today and it streatched my eye balls flat. so much sky, so much field, so much space. I breathed country air. I got bitten by country mosquitos.
I miss my mom.
I miss my friends.
I miss things today.
my fingers seem to be itching to create something. I dont know what yet. I think I want to sew.
I think I want to sit down and watch a movie with someone.
I think Im lonely here. I expected company for tonight, and he hasnt shown up. this is a ridiculous arrangement.
I think I want to eat a lot of junk food to make myself feel better. oops. good thing all my dishes are dirty... I either clean and eat, or drink and smoke and forget that Im hungry. option two seems better because the bottom line is that I dont really want to do anything at all. Im in a funk tonight. Im in a waiting place. Im not here in this moment.
blip.