(no subject)
shit flying from the window into my garden's gate
piling in the corner of my flower's patch.
it's on point
you're off the mark
don't sit me up and kiss my cheek when I tell you I've gone down.
there is no second chance,
there is no great divide except that which splits our sex.
you do not know. you can't. how I wanted to love your you.
I tried. and failed for the millienth time. Im not made it
Im made for her.
skin as soft as yours. laugh as easy as yours. eyes as beautiful as yours.
how to measure the quality of love. how to swallow your soul.
with breath. and sweat. and screams. and fright.
I paint your likeness with every stroke you fucking beautiful boy.
you brought out my traits. you squeezed the colour from my cheeks
and collected it in a shallow bowl. you wrought my veins with rust
and breathed plastercine into the cavities of my lungs
forcing me to cought up the truth that was ever so lodged between my ribs.
there is no going back. there is no second chance.
it's no use. I cant see through the fact that you are a guy.
no matter how you pump my heart.
------
oh shit, I've dont it again - let the air dry my paint onto the tips and between my bristles. I'll have to soak them for days to get that fuck out. all I want to do is paint the mouths opening, closing, biting, and nipping all over the apartment. I want to see teeth and tongue. and lips and gums. tearing at the air, at the smoke, at the flesh of my chest. there is no end to this nightmare. I am in to for the long haul. fighting against the norms and prejudices of my own aquisition. gahahhahaha.
Im a little frustrated right now.
life is sooo good. why do his words make me feel so fucked? I wish my paintbrushes were soft and ready for action. all I want is to let it out right now.
piling in the corner of my flower's patch.
it's on point
you're off the mark
don't sit me up and kiss my cheek when I tell you I've gone down.
there is no second chance,
there is no great divide except that which splits our sex.
you do not know. you can't. how I wanted to love your you.
I tried. and failed for the millienth time. Im not made it
Im made for her.
skin as soft as yours. laugh as easy as yours. eyes as beautiful as yours.
how to measure the quality of love. how to swallow your soul.
with breath. and sweat. and screams. and fright.
I paint your likeness with every stroke you fucking beautiful boy.
you brought out my traits. you squeezed the colour from my cheeks
and collected it in a shallow bowl. you wrought my veins with rust
and breathed plastercine into the cavities of my lungs
forcing me to cought up the truth that was ever so lodged between my ribs.
there is no going back. there is no second chance.
it's no use. I cant see through the fact that you are a guy.
no matter how you pump my heart.
------
oh shit, I've dont it again - let the air dry my paint onto the tips and between my bristles. I'll have to soak them for days to get that fuck out. all I want to do is paint the mouths opening, closing, biting, and nipping all over the apartment. I want to see teeth and tongue. and lips and gums. tearing at the air, at the smoke, at the flesh of my chest. there is no end to this nightmare. I am in to for the long haul. fighting against the norms and prejudices of my own aquisition. gahahhahaha.
Im a little frustrated right now.
life is sooo good. why do his words make me feel so fucked? I wish my paintbrushes were soft and ready for action. all I want is to let it out right now.