Mechanical Michelangelo part 33
THIRTY THREE Regrets
The waiting room became a drop in centre for lost boys and anyone who was anyone as long as they had cared for Justin. People came and went, leaving cards, and words of sympathy.
Daphne brought a bag full of chips and fizzy drinks with her, she’d spent enough time in New York to know what Justin’s friends liked, and everyone needed a little comfort food now and then.
Seeing Leon she bent down and pressed a kiss to his head, seeing them all here made her heart swell and the tears filled in her eyes. He was so lucky to have friends like these.
She handed the snacks around, hesitating when she got to Bren. Upon seeing his face she let out a sob and he stood up, taking her shaking form into his arms. “It’s all my fault, Bren.”
“Bullshit,” he murmured, “You weren’t to know.”
“But if I hadn’t made him go to the stupid reunion…” Why did she have to bully him into going? He had hated school when he was there, getting bullied nearly every day, and she’d made him relive it at the reunion, only this was worse, so much worse than she could ever have imagined.
“You didn’t make him do anything, no one can make Justin do anything.”
But she could, he had a weak spot when it came to her and she knew how to twist him around her finger. “God, I hate this, I want to stay here with you guys, but I have exams…” How could she think about exams when Justin was fighting for his life?
“Which you need to pass, Justin will be pissed at you if you flunk them for him.”
“You’ll ring me if anything happens? I’ll come back here straight after it.”
“Of course I will.” Bren wiped away her tears and past her over to Cam, who hugged her like she was the last connection to Justin. Apart from him, she knew Justin better than anyone.
“Be strong,” she whispered into his ear.
“You too.”
They ate in silence, each sharing out the different flavours of chips and crunching slowly. Cam ate, but tasted nothing. He looked over at Mikey and frowned, suddenly realising Brian hadn’t returned with him.
“Where’s Brian?”
Mikey blinked, realising Cam was talking to him. “Huh?”
“Where’s Brian?”
“Oh, he stayed home, to shower. I’m sure he’ll be coming later.” He said it in such a way Cam was certain that he was talking bullshit.
“Hey, Cam, where are you guys staying?” Leon asked through a mouthful of crisps.
Cam frowned, realising neither he nor Bren had thought about accommodation while they’d been here. “We stayed here. It was touch and go for a while-we didn’t want to be too far away.” He shook his head, not wanting to think about it.
“I don’t think they’ll let us all stay here…they’re giving us the evils as it is.” Leon glared at a nurse as she walked past. “We’ll just head on out when they kick us out, I suppose."
“No, not on the streets tonight.” They deserved warmth tonight, after driving for hours to get here, he didn’t want them out on strange streets, vulnerable and sad. He didn’t want anything to happen to them too. Cam looked pointedly at Mikey, who shook his head vehemently.
“One ex hustler is enough thank you, I’m not opening my door to five more.”
“Alright. Where *is* Brian?” Cam demanded, not wanting any more of Mikey’s half truths.
“He won’t let them stay at the loft.”
“I didn’t ask that, Mikey. Where is he? I haven’t seen him since Justin came out of theatre.”
“He’s taking this pretty hard and he hates hospitals.”
“Mikey…”
Mikey sighed, knowing when he was defeated. “He’s at Babylon.”
Cam laughed, but it was void of any emotion. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I tried to get him to come here…Don’t be too mad at him, this is his own type of pain management.”
“Directions.”
“Huh?” Mikey looked at him with a puzzled expression.
“Directions to, fucking, Babylon.”
“I’ll come too; he needs someone to defend him.”
***
Cam was on a mission, he twisted in between the crowd, eyes scanning the men, looking for a tall brunette, whose idea of pain management was bad sex in a spunk covered club.
Mikey clutched onto his arm, dragging him to the bar, Cam had to work hard not to shrug the other man off, finding his touch distasteful. “We’ll probably find him at the bar.” They looked up and down the rows of men waiting to get served and didn’t see him.
“We should just wait here.”
Cam raised his eyebrow at Mikey, not believing a word he said. He leaned over the bar to get the barman’s attention, and instead of ordering a drink or coming onto him like the barman expected he shouted one word. “Kinney?”
The barman rolled his eyes. “Back room.”
Anger boiled in his veins, how could Brian do this? Didn’t he care at all? He made his way to what could only be the back room, Mikey chasing his heels. Chains hung from the ceiling above the doorway, clinking in time with the music, and men were sucking and fucking in every corner.
It didn’t take long to find Brian, the only man with most of his clothes still on, was getting his dick sucked. His head was thrown back, and his eyes were shut, he didn’t look like he was having much of a good time, and Cameron couldn’t blame him.
He found this whole thing distasteful, and to find Brian here, as Justin lay in a hospital bed, made him want to punch him until he was the one lying bleeding on the ground.
Cam nudged the man on his knees, “Fuck off,” he shouted, alerting Brian to his presence. When the man didn’t move Cam pulled on his hair, causing Brian to slide back, quickly removing his dick from between the stranger’s teeth.
“Watch it!”
“What the fuck, are you doing here, Brian?”
He laughed and leaned his head back against the wall as he tucked himself back into his pants. “What does it look like? Getting my dick sucked.”
“Cut the bullshit. I’m not part of your adoring fan club, you don’t need to impress me with your big bad ways. Justin needs you.”
“Guys, lets not fight.” Mikey said, frustrated when they ignored him.
“He doesn’t even know I’m there. There’s nothing I can do.”
“There’s nothing I can do either. I can’t fix this, I can’t make him wake up or turn back time, but I’m there and when he does wake up, and he will, he’ll know I was there, that Bren was there, that Leon, Pete and all of our fucked up, twisted, prostituting family were there.”
Brian squeezed his eyes shut, running a hand over his face. “Why didn’t he just come back? Why did he do that?”
Cameron pulled Brian’s hands away from his face. “Because he felt like he didn’t have a choice, and hustling is better than other things that can happen…fuck, you can have this conversation with Justin when he’s better. Stop being a fucking dick and come back to the hospital.”
Brian shrugged the shorter man off. “There’s no reason for me to be there.”
“You keep telling yourself that, and it’ll be the second thing you’ll regret for the rest of your life.”
“Yeah? And what’s the first?”
“Not bothering to find Justin in the first place.”
The waiting room became a drop in centre for lost boys and anyone who was anyone as long as they had cared for Justin. People came and went, leaving cards, and words of sympathy.
Daphne brought a bag full of chips and fizzy drinks with her, she’d spent enough time in New York to know what Justin’s friends liked, and everyone needed a little comfort food now and then.
Seeing Leon she bent down and pressed a kiss to his head, seeing them all here made her heart swell and the tears filled in her eyes. He was so lucky to have friends like these.
She handed the snacks around, hesitating when she got to Bren. Upon seeing his face she let out a sob and he stood up, taking her shaking form into his arms. “It’s all my fault, Bren.”
“Bullshit,” he murmured, “You weren’t to know.”
“But if I hadn’t made him go to the stupid reunion…” Why did she have to bully him into going? He had hated school when he was there, getting bullied nearly every day, and she’d made him relive it at the reunion, only this was worse, so much worse than she could ever have imagined.
“You didn’t make him do anything, no one can make Justin do anything.”
But she could, he had a weak spot when it came to her and she knew how to twist him around her finger. “God, I hate this, I want to stay here with you guys, but I have exams…” How could she think about exams when Justin was fighting for his life?
“Which you need to pass, Justin will be pissed at you if you flunk them for him.”
“You’ll ring me if anything happens? I’ll come back here straight after it.”
“Of course I will.” Bren wiped away her tears and past her over to Cam, who hugged her like she was the last connection to Justin. Apart from him, she knew Justin better than anyone.
“Be strong,” she whispered into his ear.
“You too.”
They ate in silence, each sharing out the different flavours of chips and crunching slowly. Cam ate, but tasted nothing. He looked over at Mikey and frowned, suddenly realising Brian hadn’t returned with him.
“Where’s Brian?”
Mikey blinked, realising Cam was talking to him. “Huh?”
“Where’s Brian?”
“Oh, he stayed home, to shower. I’m sure he’ll be coming later.” He said it in such a way Cam was certain that he was talking bullshit.
“Hey, Cam, where are you guys staying?” Leon asked through a mouthful of crisps.
Cam frowned, realising neither he nor Bren had thought about accommodation while they’d been here. “We stayed here. It was touch and go for a while-we didn’t want to be too far away.” He shook his head, not wanting to think about it.
“I don’t think they’ll let us all stay here…they’re giving us the evils as it is.” Leon glared at a nurse as she walked past. “We’ll just head on out when they kick us out, I suppose."
“No, not on the streets tonight.” They deserved warmth tonight, after driving for hours to get here, he didn’t want them out on strange streets, vulnerable and sad. He didn’t want anything to happen to them too. Cam looked pointedly at Mikey, who shook his head vehemently.
“One ex hustler is enough thank you, I’m not opening my door to five more.”
“Alright. Where *is* Brian?” Cam demanded, not wanting any more of Mikey’s half truths.
“He won’t let them stay at the loft.”
“I didn’t ask that, Mikey. Where is he? I haven’t seen him since Justin came out of theatre.”
“He’s taking this pretty hard and he hates hospitals.”
“Mikey…”
Mikey sighed, knowing when he was defeated. “He’s at Babylon.”
Cam laughed, but it was void of any emotion. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I tried to get him to come here…Don’t be too mad at him, this is his own type of pain management.”
“Directions.”
“Huh?” Mikey looked at him with a puzzled expression.
“Directions to, fucking, Babylon.”
“I’ll come too; he needs someone to defend him.”
***
Cam was on a mission, he twisted in between the crowd, eyes scanning the men, looking for a tall brunette, whose idea of pain management was bad sex in a spunk covered club.
Mikey clutched onto his arm, dragging him to the bar, Cam had to work hard not to shrug the other man off, finding his touch distasteful. “We’ll probably find him at the bar.” They looked up and down the rows of men waiting to get served and didn’t see him.
“We should just wait here.”
Cam raised his eyebrow at Mikey, not believing a word he said. He leaned over the bar to get the barman’s attention, and instead of ordering a drink or coming onto him like the barman expected he shouted one word. “Kinney?”
The barman rolled his eyes. “Back room.”
Anger boiled in his veins, how could Brian do this? Didn’t he care at all? He made his way to what could only be the back room, Mikey chasing his heels. Chains hung from the ceiling above the doorway, clinking in time with the music, and men were sucking and fucking in every corner.
It didn’t take long to find Brian, the only man with most of his clothes still on, was getting his dick sucked. His head was thrown back, and his eyes were shut, he didn’t look like he was having much of a good time, and Cameron couldn’t blame him.
He found this whole thing distasteful, and to find Brian here, as Justin lay in a hospital bed, made him want to punch him until he was the one lying bleeding on the ground.
Cam nudged the man on his knees, “Fuck off,” he shouted, alerting Brian to his presence. When the man didn’t move Cam pulled on his hair, causing Brian to slide back, quickly removing his dick from between the stranger’s teeth.
“Watch it!”
“What the fuck, are you doing here, Brian?”
He laughed and leaned his head back against the wall as he tucked himself back into his pants. “What does it look like? Getting my dick sucked.”
“Cut the bullshit. I’m not part of your adoring fan club, you don’t need to impress me with your big bad ways. Justin needs you.”
“Guys, lets not fight.” Mikey said, frustrated when they ignored him.
“He doesn’t even know I’m there. There’s nothing I can do.”
“There’s nothing I can do either. I can’t fix this, I can’t make him wake up or turn back time, but I’m there and when he does wake up, and he will, he’ll know I was there, that Bren was there, that Leon, Pete and all of our fucked up, twisted, prostituting family were there.”
Brian squeezed his eyes shut, running a hand over his face. “Why didn’t he just come back? Why did he do that?”
Cameron pulled Brian’s hands away from his face. “Because he felt like he didn’t have a choice, and hustling is better than other things that can happen…fuck, you can have this conversation with Justin when he’s better. Stop being a fucking dick and come back to the hospital.”
Brian shrugged the shorter man off. “There’s no reason for me to be there.”
“You keep telling yourself that, and it’ll be the second thing you’ll regret for the rest of your life.”
“Yeah? And what’s the first?”
“Not bothering to find Justin in the first place.”