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The Top 17 Reasons To Get a New Car
17> Your passenger seat is on the National Register of
Historic Places.
16> Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped
to your steering wheel.
15> Stench from bodies in trunk becoming unbearable.
14> You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on
a moped.
13> 15 Minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car 3 days.
12> Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take
"The Club."
11> When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct
tape that windshield for you?"
10> While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if
anyone was hurt.
9> Instead of leaking oil, it's leaking blood.
8> You never seem to get an answer at the AMC Gremlin
help desk.
7> For the last five years, you've had to settle for making
"vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
6> Keep losing dates on left turns.
5> Your gas gauge measures in cubits.
4> Now barely fits 43 instead of the usual 50 clowns.
3> Traffic reporters start referring to you by name when
discussing morning tie-ups.
2> Hasn't been the same since Hugh Grant borrowed it.
and the Number 1 Reason To Get a New Car...
1> Your tires are balding faster than Michael Bolton.
17> Your passenger seat is on the National Register of
Historic Places.
16> Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped
to your steering wheel.
15> Stench from bodies in trunk becoming unbearable.
14> You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on
a moped.
13> 15 Minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car 3 days.
12> Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take
"The Club."
11> When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct
tape that windshield for you?"
10> While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if
anyone was hurt.
9> Instead of leaking oil, it's leaking blood.
8> You never seem to get an answer at the AMC Gremlin
help desk.
7> For the last five years, you've had to settle for making
"vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
6> Keep losing dates on left turns.
5> Your gas gauge measures in cubits.
4> Now barely fits 43 instead of the usual 50 clowns.
3> Traffic reporters start referring to you by name when
discussing morning tie-ups.
2> Hasn't been the same since Hugh Grant borrowed it.
and the Number 1 Reason To Get a New Car...
1> Your tires are balding faster than Michael Bolton.