(no subject)
To start off, this tiny chuck of text will never express all the thoughts that I have, both about this block of text, the symbols this block of text contains, the meaning these symbols contain, the ideas this meaning contains, or any further down the pidgeon hole as I've come to call it.
anyway
to start off is how I expected LSD to be, or how I pidgeon holed the expereince, becasue that's all I could have done having never had an experience with it.
I expected to be thrown into a ceiling of conscious and that I'd be held their until I died to myself or some such non-sense and broke the ceiling and bounded through to the other side a victorious transcended mind. I expected to sit and be fascinated by what was given to me, and it would be like watching a movie and being entertained. I was sold on the notion that the expirence would have great signifigence and everythign would matter. My idea was that everything would be crazy and my mind would be lost, everything would be involentary for 9-10 hours and then I'd sink back in.
But the way we pigeon hole things isn't how they usually turn out. To say that they never turn out that way is to pigeon hole the front that we see, becaues that front is just as valid, just as long as you take into consideration what it is. Okay lemme put it like this. We each see lsd and the culture etc from one perspective and that is a real facet of it, and being a facet you can see into it and it gives you a clear 2 dimensional image but underneath that facet is an eternity of experience. It's all about the communication and until you've jumped in through YOUR OWN FACET you won't understand it. To call it something, to give it a name or describe it, no matter how much you try, it will be as two dimensional as these words. Even if I were to interpretative dance, even trip in front of you, you would only have the two deminsional perception of this notion. Then from what you're seeing you'll have to dive in head first so to speak and expierence it with us. I spend so much time looking for what I'd call "set in's" or what not of any kind of change that I totally miss that change is ever existing. I'm waiting for the universe to begin when it's standing next to me like "dude when you gunna stop tripin?" We lock out all of existance by not being able to be aware of our awareness. But that comes at levels. The awareness is one thing, but then that awareness is
anyway that's a road better left unexplored.
And it's all taking away from the idea that I'm trying to experience "a staff being a serpent" so to speak, when why would I even want to expirence that in the first place? that has no meaning, the experience beyond what is actually occuring is what has meaning. And that's a conclusion that I've been circling around for so long but hiding from or "accepting" but not actually looking in the face of and manning up to it and realizing.
There is nothing difinitive, I look for symbolic beginnings and ends, because I need them, but everything is ever continuing, and its all the better for being so. everything.
I feel like I draw this way because it embodies what I've pidgeon holed a trip to be like, but a trip doesnt have to be that. It could be a tree, or a person, or a car, or a box, or a building. The "trip" is just the conclusion you've been hiding from yourself, but if you give into the satisfation of obtaining that conclusion, it will just put you as far from that conclusion as you were to start with. There is no progression, everything simply is and was and will be, we have to come up so the place where the two paths split and be okay with both paths leading right back to that same spot. I feel as if I understand now, this understanding an infinite spiral. It all comes together and makes sense in one space. Everything I've heard is true, but it just was never fit together correctly. that is the truth of all life. We are all given the pieces that are equally true, it is up to put them together for ourselves, and not acid, nor the government, nor marx, nor your best friend can help you put them together. AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT THEM TO! its amazing because we put it all together for ourselves.
anyway
to start off is how I expected LSD to be, or how I pidgeon holed the expereince, becasue that's all I could have done having never had an experience with it.
I expected to be thrown into a ceiling of conscious and that I'd be held their until I died to myself or some such non-sense and broke the ceiling and bounded through to the other side a victorious transcended mind. I expected to sit and be fascinated by what was given to me, and it would be like watching a movie and being entertained. I was sold on the notion that the expirence would have great signifigence and everythign would matter. My idea was that everything would be crazy and my mind would be lost, everything would be involentary for 9-10 hours and then I'd sink back in.
But the way we pigeon hole things isn't how they usually turn out. To say that they never turn out that way is to pigeon hole the front that we see, becaues that front is just as valid, just as long as you take into consideration what it is. Okay lemme put it like this. We each see lsd and the culture etc from one perspective and that is a real facet of it, and being a facet you can see into it and it gives you a clear 2 dimensional image but underneath that facet is an eternity of experience. It's all about the communication and until you've jumped in through YOUR OWN FACET you won't understand it. To call it something, to give it a name or describe it, no matter how much you try, it will be as two dimensional as these words. Even if I were to interpretative dance, even trip in front of you, you would only have the two deminsional perception of this notion. Then from what you're seeing you'll have to dive in head first so to speak and expierence it with us. I spend so much time looking for what I'd call "set in's" or what not of any kind of change that I totally miss that change is ever existing. I'm waiting for the universe to begin when it's standing next to me like "dude when you gunna stop tripin?" We lock out all of existance by not being able to be aware of our awareness. But that comes at levels. The awareness is one thing, but then that awareness is
anyway that's a road better left unexplored.
And it's all taking away from the idea that I'm trying to experience "a staff being a serpent" so to speak, when why would I even want to expirence that in the first place? that has no meaning, the experience beyond what is actually occuring is what has meaning. And that's a conclusion that I've been circling around for so long but hiding from or "accepting" but not actually looking in the face of and manning up to it and realizing.
There is nothing difinitive, I look for symbolic beginnings and ends, because I need them, but everything is ever continuing, and its all the better for being so. everything.
I feel like I draw this way because it embodies what I've pidgeon holed a trip to be like, but a trip doesnt have to be that. It could be a tree, or a person, or a car, or a box, or a building. The "trip" is just the conclusion you've been hiding from yourself, but if you give into the satisfation of obtaining that conclusion, it will just put you as far from that conclusion as you were to start with. There is no progression, everything simply is and was and will be, we have to come up so the place where the two paths split and be okay with both paths leading right back to that same spot. I feel as if I understand now, this understanding an infinite spiral. It all comes together and makes sense in one space. Everything I've heard is true, but it just was never fit together correctly. that is the truth of all life. We are all given the pieces that are equally true, it is up to put them together for ourselves, and not acid, nor the government, nor marx, nor your best friend can help you put them together. AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT THEM TO! its amazing because we put it all together for ourselves.