(no subject)
so yeah... it's really late and i can't sleep.
i have an 8 30 class and i am pretty much going to be a zombie tomorrow
i feel so shitty about what is going on with my mom... we havent talked in like 4 days (and those of you who know me know how abnormal that is) and i hate it. the sad part is, i'm scared to go home or even call my house, so the only time we talk is when she calls me, which she has completely stopped doing. i just dont know what to say anymore... i hate talking to my mom and then feeling like the world's biggest disappointment when i get off the phone with her. i want things to be the way they used to be with us... when we talked all the time and i didnt feel like she was ashamed of me.
i have no idea how to make any of this better. i already apologized, and i dont know what else to do. i have to go home at some point... birthday is coming up and i do need to go home for that cuz we already made plans. although i suppose it is entirely possible that they are cancelling my birthday this year and have already burned my presents.
and i know this is an entirely different subject, but i really miss the butterflies. it's been too long since i really felt them. i thought i got them back for a while there, but it turns out that it wasnt what i thought it was... i hate it when that happens...
ps- sorry for the depressing nature of this entry
i have an 8 30 class and i am pretty much going to be a zombie tomorrow
i feel so shitty about what is going on with my mom... we havent talked in like 4 days (and those of you who know me know how abnormal that is) and i hate it. the sad part is, i'm scared to go home or even call my house, so the only time we talk is when she calls me, which she has completely stopped doing. i just dont know what to say anymore... i hate talking to my mom and then feeling like the world's biggest disappointment when i get off the phone with her. i want things to be the way they used to be with us... when we talked all the time and i didnt feel like she was ashamed of me.
i have no idea how to make any of this better. i already apologized, and i dont know what else to do. i have to go home at some point... birthday is coming up and i do need to go home for that cuz we already made plans. although i suppose it is entirely possible that they are cancelling my birthday this year and have already burned my presents.
and i know this is an entirely different subject, but i really miss the butterflies. it's been too long since i really felt them. i thought i got them back for a while there, but it turns out that it wasnt what i thought it was... i hate it when that happens...
ps- sorry for the depressing nature of this entry