Im thinking its a sign...
...That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images, and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned.
Damn I havent updated in forever. I guess not much has changed. I get my license tomorrow. Im lonely. I recontacted Brent from forever ago. I just hope that this time around I can be smart enough to not expect anything. Im still holding on to Blake for some godforfucking reason. Why can I not let go of him? or is it just that im so lonely Im willing to take all the shit he threw at me for the smallest bit of attention.
Im still losing weight, and it feels really nice when I get comments on it, however I still dont see an attraction factor. I guess thats natural. Danielle is still puking. Im still cutting. I guess Im really unsafe with myself sometimes. Like last friday when i took tylenol with alcohol. Not an excessive amount I mind you. I just happened to be drinking, and happened to have a headache. I wish Danielle would stop puking. I dont wanna see her fuck herself up. Shes so gorgeous and smart and has so much potential.
I wear eyeliner everyday now. Haha, Im not sure why I would say that here. I just think its cool. Mom got me and her a cell phone plan Monday. Its so great. and I have the easiest number ever.
Kate thinks its sexy when a guy wears eyeliner. She likes it when I wear eyeliner. I used to feel alot like she didnt want me around. And maybe she didnt because I know that almost all of my friends here now didnt really like me at one time. And I cannot say that I would blame them. Sometimes I just wanna spill my heart to her, and tell her everything, everything that i think, and how i take too many pills sometimes, and how I still cut myself sometimes, and how sometimes 6 out of 7 days a week im depressed. But theres never a time that isnt too awkward, or a time that she's not making me smile. Besides, what would she think? My baggage isnt sexy. I want to be sexy to her. Jesus. I like a girl. haha.
Danielle and I went walking this afternoon, had to run like 3 times from these bitches we dont like. Cory and Jennifer Durham. I swear they stalk us! Came by my house one time and I managed to make them believe that she wasnt there, despite her PANTS AND PURSE right in front of them on the sofa. Im like "yeah she left her pants and purse here last night, stupid bitch. haha" Thank god they fell for that. Then as we walk to McDonalds from my house, they turn, and ride down the road in front of us however do not see us. Then Brandy calls as we take off in a sprint to Danielles for the prevention of being seen....It was crazy. But good news! Brandy is having one of her poems published in a book, and she called me to tell me that, and that shes mentioning me in her little Biography. Im excited. I wish I could buy a copy of the book.
I think I might wear my hair up tomorrow.